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Diana Rene: You are listening to The Decluttered Mom Podcast, A podcast built specifically for busy moms by a busy mom. I'm your host, Diana Renee, and in 2017 I had my second daughter and it felt like I was literally drowning in my home. Okay. Not literally, but I felt like I couldn't breathe with all of the stuff surrounding me over the next 10 months. I got rid of approximately 70% of our household belongings, and I have never looked back. I kind of feel like I hacked the mom system, and I am here to share all the tips, tricks, and encouragement. Let's listen to today's show. Hey Julia. How are you today? Hi. I'm great. How are you? I'm good, thank you. I am like high on life because I've had interviews with members of the program all morning and it's like so fun to just talk with you guys about the whole process and everything. Um, okay. So what I wanna start out with is just kind of a little bit of background about who you are, your family situation, your home situation. Um, so can you just tell me a little bit more about yourself?

Julia: Sure. Um, so I am married. Um, we are coming up on our, we just had our 18th anniversary. Okay. So, um, college sweethearts. We met in college and then married like right out of college. And just sort of enjoyed, you know, being together as a couple for a couple years Yeah. Before starting, starting to decide to build our family. Um, and then we had a little bit of trouble getting pregnant. So, um, we went through some infertility and eventually I did become pregnant with our daughter and she is six and a half now, so Okay. It's just my husband and I and my daughter. Yeah. Um, we live in central Pennsylvania. Okay. Um, not far from the capital, which is a very small city for a capital city. Yeah. But Harrisburg, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, we're about 18 miles, um, outside of there. Okay. I obtained a home headquartered job, um, years ago. Um, and then of course with COVID that sort of changed things a little bit. We're not 100% home, but pretty close to it. Okay. Um, so Zoom is my life. Yeah. With my, with my job. Great. Um, I conduct interviews, um, as well, um, about once or twice a week, so,

Diana Rene: okay. Um, and do you work full-time?

Julia: I do.

Diana Rene: Yeah. Okay. Um, and then your husband, uh, does he work from home also?

Julia: He does not. Okay. He works, um, at a military base that's pretty, pretty close to our house, like 15 minutes away, um, for a short time. Um, during c. It was a different position. And he just like everybody else, they're like, take your laptop and go home. Um, and so he was sort of camped out in the living room on a card table. It was terrible because he had to like hardwire into the, um, modem. The wifi wasn't working. Um, so for several months he was home, um, with that position, but he got a different job at the same location, but it's onsite. He has to. Um, report there. He can't work remotely for that position.

Diana Rene: Got it. Okay. Yeah, I think that, um, the beginning of COVID, uh, I think it tested a lot of marriages because like everyone was home. Yeah, yeah. I know in our house it was like we, my husband works out of the home like six days a week, and then he was home all of a sudden, and like both girls were home remote schooling and it was like we were all here 24 7.

Julia: Yeah, and the, and the days just like rolled in night. Rolled in today. Yeah. Just there was no like, I don't know. I mean, you were kind of like basing it on the angle of the sun, you know, just right before we had clocks and everything, it's like, okay, you can tell like it's getting to be dinnertime now, you know? But there was no like. Event of the day that, you know, sort of That's so

Diana Rene: true. Yeah. And then there was also like the, the like looming over your head of like, you don't know if this is like the new normal. Like you don't know if it's ever going back to. You know, quote, normal, um, right. But yeah, that's, yeah, it's, it's just funny 'cause every time I talk to somebody that has had, like people who don't typically work from home and all of a sudden were working from home, um, I think that was a time period that a lot of people who had been living. In, in overwhelming space for a long time, but never really, like, never really thought about it. Or if they did, it was kind of like in passing. Then suddenly it was like, oh my gosh, what are we doing in this house? Yeah.

Julia: Yeah. Like for me, I was very happy. You know, I, I still had to do my job, but I didn't have to. Travel.

Diana Rene: Yeah. Like

Julia: I, I went to surrounding counties to collect records and things, so, okay. You know, I didn't have to do that because they were sending everything remotely. Um, but for him, he wasn't really like. Enjoying the new position to begin with and then, and not really understanding everything yet. So then to just be sent home and having to like, learn everything by talking to his coworkers on the phone.

Diana Rene: Yeah. Um,

Julia: he was miserable, so it was like we are in these two different mindsets where I'm like, I'm just happy all three of us are here and we're safe. And we have this time together, we can have lunch together, we can like go outside in the middle of the day if you wanna. Um, but there was this like stress of, you know, him like wondering like, when's this gonna change? Is it, is it because of the circumstances? Is it the position?

Diana Rene: Um, yeah, that was probably isolating too for him.

Julia: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it helped him to really understand like what he does want, what he doesn't want, and was able to find something else that's more suitable for his personality. He's not a good, um. Um, stationary person, like he needs to be up moving around.

Diana Rene: Yeah. Yeah. Not

Julia: that I like to sit around, but like I'm okay with like, if I need to sit for two hours and talk, like I could just talk all day long. Yeah. That's funny. I'm good. But he needs to be up moving around, like seeing production, you know? Yeah.

Diana Rene: I think that like, uh, the beginning of COVID, um, like I've always known that I am a homebody, but like, I think it showed to everybody else how much of a homebody I was because it was like, oh, it's Thursday and we still haven't left. Like, I haven't gotten.

Julia: Same here. Same here. Yeah. Like I, I like to go places and do things, but I also, I do just enjoy being home and Yeah. In the soft home, in my own space and

Diana Rene: yeah. Yeah.

Julia: That was nice. Absolutely.

Diana Rene: So when did you join the program?

Julia: I think I joined May of last year. Um, okay. So I'm like, yeah, and I'm like. Paperwork right now. So I'm like feeling like I should be done by now because, uh, it's almost, you know, coming up on a year. But I also, sometimes I don't do anything with it for like a week or two. Like if it's an especially busy week, then it's like on hold, you know? Yeah. Um, so I'm getting, you know, almost towards the end, as you know. Um. My husband's very anxious to get to the garage. Oh, in a good way or a bad way? Um, in a good way. Okay. Um, because it tends to be like a holding area. Yep. For me. Yep. Right. Like I do participate in a consignment sale that's local to us. It's twice a year. Um, but it's changing how I approach like the. The time that I'm gonna spend on something to put it in the system, to print the tag, to drop it off, to hope it sells, to then decide do I let them donate it or do I pick it up? I'm not, not going back to picking things up anymore. Like if I'm putting it in the sale, it's either gonna be sold or donated. It's not coming back into this house. Yeah. Um,

Diana Rene: and also, which, which to interrupt you, sorry. No, that's okay. Is that something that you used to do? Would you go pick it up if it didn't sell?

Julia: It depended on what it was. Okay. Yeah. There would be like certain outfits of my daughters that because I felt like an attachment to it. Um, and because she is like our only one and. We had trouble getting pregnant.

Diana Rene: Yeah.

Julia: I did attach and, and hold value to things that like, she was like outgrowing, like I thought, like, I'm gonna hold onto my favorite outfits of hers. Mm-hmm. And maybe I'll get like a blanket made or something. Right. Um, and then the things that I was selling, you know, like holding it up, I'm like, oh, like she was just so little and she's not that little anymore. Yeah. And just, you know, reminding myself, especially since now doing the program that I, I did take a photo of her in like every single outfit she ever wore. So like, I have a picture of it, you know, I don't need the physical, um, outfit. Like, what am I gonna do with, was an overflowing box in her closet. Like, what am I gonna do with this now? You know? Right. Um, but yeah, so like that's crazy to. To list like an outfit in the sale and it doesn't sell, and then bring it home and hope that I could sell it next year. Like that's, I'm not doing that anymore. So I marked everything to donate toys, especially because she worked so hard on her playroom. When we got to that, um, part of the course, it was perfect because, you know, as you, as you have said, kids. Get to experience the benefit of the living area and the kitchen. Well, I guess the kitchen came later, but I mean, we still, you know, like she's in the spaces that we were decluttering, right? And she was feeling that weight being lifted. So when it came time to her playroom. She wanted that too for herself.

Diana Rene: Yeah.

Julia: Um, and she, you wanna talk ruthless? She filled up a toy box, like, oh my gosh. I love that. She kept saying, pass it on, pass it on. And there were some things I was like, I tried not to like say, are you on step in? Yeah. You know, like there were things that I was surprised she passed on and things that she held onto, like the stuffed animals.

Diana Rene: Yeah.

Julia: Um, those ever leave apparently. Um. Yeah, she filled up an entire toy box of toys and was just ready to pass them on. And there's kids that are younger than her. She'll like designate, well, I want this to go to Josie. I want this to go Tory. I want this to go to Ellie. Yeah. Um, and then my friends will like, send a video of them, you know, like, thank you Glen. I'm like, look at this joy that you're spreading to other kids. I don't wanna like burden my friends. With my thing. So like, I'll ask 'em first, right? Like, could you use this? I don't wanna like dump off. Yeah. You know, everything we're getting, like my daughter was huge into Blippy from about lgs, like one and a half until maybe four. It was a long that she A long blippy round. Yeah. And she had like a stuffed animal, like a plush. Um, and she was ready to pass that on. And so my friend's daughter is big into Blippy and so that was a good hand me down for her. That she'll, yeah. Hopefully, you know, enjoy for a couple years.

Diana Rene: I love that. And then I love that they sent videos and you showed them to her because then she was able to see like. Um, because a lot of times when kids are starting to get on board with decluttering, like we talk a lot about this in the program, but, um, like talk, talking them through it, like there are so many kids out there that don't have any toys to play with. Um, and, but, but they just like drop it off at donation and then they just have to trust that it like. Went to someone. Right? And like for kids who are so like literal, um, having that experience probably really helped reinforce for her, like, oh, this is really cool. They're getting joy from it. They're happy and like I, and I still have my cool play space. That doesn't feel overwhelming,

Julia: right? Yeah. Yeah. And she. More tangible, you know, that she can see an actual person who she knows is enjoying it.

Diana Rene: Yeah. Instead,

Julia: like you said, like just dropping it off, you know, with a truckload of donations.

Diana Rene: Yeah.

Julia: Like where does it go from there?

Diana Rene: Right. Like you told me this is going to kids. This doesn't look like kids. It's like a warehouse. Yeah. Can totally relate also to what you were saying about like trying not to intervene because there were several times, especially when I was first starting this process where I had like much more expensive like Montessori type toys that I like, really tried to be like the Montessori mom for like six months. Yeah. Yeah. Um, she never wanted to play with those toys, and it was like really frustrating for me because I was like, but this toy was really expensive and it's supposed to be really good for your development. Like, why don't you like this toy? And then when we'd go through the decluttering process, it was like, um, she'd wanna hold on to. The toy that maybe I didn't want her to hold onto. And she would like totally be fine with like, oh, I don't like this toy, I'm gonna put it. Um, and so it was hard and there were times where I would like hold onto it and I'd be like, well, she'll probably, she probably just isn't old enough to like appreciate this toy yet, you know? And I'd hold onto it and then the next round she'd come back and she'd be like, mom, I told you to donate this one. I.

Julia: So you still feel the same way about it, I guess? Yeah.

Diana Rene: Right. It was like, it was a good lesson for mom, like she was ready to let go. Right. Um, and I think that we can kind of sabotage our own kids going through the process because of either like sentimental reasons or like you really dug deep into like a specific learning method or. Um, you like researched how good this was for them to play with this type of toy or, um, even My oldest is not attached to stuffies at all. She has one stuffy that she like, loves and sleeps with every night, and she could like totally be fine with every other stuffy. Never existing. My five-year-old on the other hand, has like names and personalities and like whole life stories for like her.

Julia: That's, I think, um, my daughter has a similar personality

Diana Rene: to her

Julia: five-year old.

Diana Rene: Okay.

Julia: Yeah, I think so. She's well done.

Diana Rene: Yeah. Um, but I think it was hard for me as a mom because like I had emotional attachment to some of these stuffies because we would get them for like, special events or things like that. Um, so I think if you're, I think it's a learning process, but I think if you're not careful, your kids can be really ready to let go of some stuff that you kind of sabotage for them. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Has she, so you mentioned how like she was really ruthless. Was she always like that through the process or did she have some resistance? At first

Julia: there was resistance because I would make mention of, you know, when we get to your playroom, well, I, like, I would get frustrated when I'd go in there because yeah, stuff would be everywhere. And, um. I would try to kind of nudge her then and, and sort of get her involved and she would be like, no. You know, like just yeah, digging her heels, not doing it. Um, and so I just decided to like, leave it alone. Trust the process. Yeah. Go through each step, um, and she'll feel it. She'll feel the benefit of it. When it came time to work on the playroom? Um, no, the three of us, we decided, okay, let's just bring everything out into the living room and then we'll sort it by category, um, and just go through it that way. And you know, the goal was that everything had to have a home. Of course. Yeah. Um, whereas like the shelves and the bins and everything were just busting at the seams. Right. Um, so we just wanted to be sure whatever we were taking back in was going to fit and make sense and, and everything. Um, and she just, I don't know, like she was so. Unattached. Yeah. I just was surprised. I thought she would be really resistant and she just was really great at,

Diana Rene: yeah. Something clicked with her letting go.

Julia: Yeah.

Diana Rene: Yeah. Yeah. And I think that that happens a lot. Um, I think that. I think people get really frustrated with kids and so they do resort to like just doing everything while they're at school or while they're at grandma's. Um, and I think that's like a common thing done and I think that like, it erodes trust with them because they're like, oh, when I come home, what has mom thrown away? That was maybe important to me.

Julia: Yeah. Um. Causes them to like really clinging to things even more so because they Absolutely,

Diana Rene: yeah, it does. It has the opposite effect of what we are trying to do. Right? Because they're like, well, I don't know what she's gonna throw away, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna hide this stuff. Even like I've seen in the past working with, before I had the course I worked with in-home, um, clients, and so. They would say like, I would Decluttered while they're at school. And then like, now they're like hiding toys under their bed when they go to school because they're worried I'm gonna throw it away. Yeah. And like obviously it's, it's not ever really done with like, ill intention. The moms are not like purposely trying to like, harm their child by doing it, but Right. Yeah. But they think that they're helping when really we're, we're slowing down the progress and maybe even like pushing it backwards. Um. And, and so when we're able to work with our kids and we're able to allow them to see and feel what a home feels like without all the excess stuff, something just clicks. And sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes it's really quick. But now, um, I. I mean, a year into decluttering for us, my kids would come to me and they'd be like, mom, I don't really play with this toy anymore. Can we donate it? And like, if you would've told Yeah, if you would've told me that like a year prior, I'd be like, I'd be like, uh, you don't know my kids. You know?

Julia: Yeah. Like, they don't let go of anything ever.

Diana Rene: Right, right. Yeah. And, um. The really cool thing, Julia, is that we are setting them up to like never really have an issue with clutter even into their adult lives. Which can you imagine like starting a home with your husband and then bringing your daughter into it and not having an issue with clutter? Like what that would've been like?

Julia: Yeah, because it, it's been, you know, we've been together for a long time. Yeah. Since one. Moved around different areas and, and you're just like taking these bins of things that,

Diana Rene: you know,

Julia: you've had since, you know, childhood probably. Um, or like things being in, in different locations. Like there was, you know, he had some things at his mom's house. I had some things at my parents' house. Mm-hmm. Um, then when we brought, bought our first house, we're trying to like get all of our actual possessions in one place and. You know, a lot of it we just put like stored in the basement and then the basement flooded and we're trying to keep everything up off the floor. 'cause you don't know what's in there. Right. You know? Is there actually anything of value or is it all like, like I held onto, you know, like birthday cards and, yeah. Notes that my friends in high school,

Diana Rene: yeah, it's, I mean, I feel like basements, garages, and attics and sometimes even like guest rooms or offices are like, where, um, where things go to die that you don't know what to do with, like, yeah, like you, you think you should probably keep it, but you don't know. And so you're like, but I don't really have anywhere to put it, so I'm just gonna. Check it in the garage or I'm gonna check it in the basement into a box and just deal with it later. Um, and it makes us feel better in the moment until we have to step foot in that space.

Julia: Yes, I was above the garage last week. So I thought I was like on the ball with this consignment thing. Like everything's in the system. I'm like way ahead of the game. Drop off is like next Monday. Okay. So last week I'm like, I'm pretty much done. But there was like, I, there was something that told me that I had some summer stuff, you know, like a swim vest and things like that. And I went up and um, I'm opening up bins and I just was so frustrated. I'm like, I can't wait to get to the garage because this stuff is going. I tried not to like get distracted mm-hmm. Off of what I had been working on. Um, yeah. But sort of also like I did fill up a, a trash bag when I was up there. 'cause I'm like, seriously wise. In here, like it was like sensy wax melts and it gets hot up above the garage. So like they fit into like one blob. It's like, this is, I don't even use them. You know, I don't know how they got up there. I dunno. Right. It was probably just, I'm thinking when we moved from our other house, um, it looked like things that I had pulled off the refrigerator that was in a bin and then there was like a random candle and picture frames and just things that. I think I had packed up and thought I was going to rediscover it here. Okay. Yep. But house for almost nine years, I just now rediscovered it. Yeah,

Diana Rene: I think that like, um, I think especially when we are moving, uh, there is like an element of high stress and so you just throw stuff in boxes and bins and you're like, I'll have deal with this later. Um, little do we know, we're like spending way more money on like moving and everything 'cause we're just bringing all this extra stuff to the next house.

Julia: And, and to think, you know, like if we had been in like a temporary living arrangement, that those boxes and bins would've gone to like a storage unit.

Diana Rene: Yes.

Julia: And so like to think of like the money that you would spend to store various items that you're not sure. Yep. What are. Just crazy, you know? And it's

Diana Rene: expensive. It's not like, you know, um, I remember looking into this because we, in our town, there was like three new storage places going, being built, and I was like, there's no way like. There's no way that this is needed or is going to be. And I called around when they all open and they were like, oh yeah, we're full. Um, wow. And I was like, how much does it cost? You know? And there's like different sizes and you can do like, uh, like. Heat controlled and like, so there's different things, but like the cheapest space was like $110 a month and I was like, that's a lot of money. To, and the, the, the most expensive one was like 400 something a month. Wow. Wow. And I think that we, we put all those delayed decisions into like a space like that. And then we just pay money. And we pay money and we pay money and we don't even think about it because it at least is out of our home. Yeah. It's not staring us in the face. Even though we see that money coming out of our account every month. We may not, if it's on auto, we may not even realize that, you know, because that adds up. But, um. We do that in our own home and then we just leave it until we're forced to deal with it. Like a basement flooding, like you said. Yeah. So what happened when, when your basement flooded, how did you then handle all the stuff that was down there and was this recent?

Julia: This, this was in our old house. Okay. Um, but it was a. Old, like former house, but also it was an old house. It was built in 1939. Okay. Um, and so it would take water on when you would have, you know, like the consistent where it would rain for like two days straight and the. And it had to go somewhere. And we didn't have a sum pump at the time. Um, if we had a big snowfall, and then, like in Pennsylvania, you know, like it, like this week is very weird. Like it was like 20 some degrees this morning, but tomorrow it's gonna be like 70 something. Right? I know. We consider like if today was a snow day and we got like six inches and then tomorrow it melts, it would just fill in the basement and it, I'm talking like angle deep, like wow, significant. There were some things that, that were ruined. You know, boxes and things, of course, are gonna get saturated, but then instead of, you know, going through the items, we got pallets. Yeah. And made sure everything was in plastic. Um, I don't, I'm not sure what our, like long-term plan was. I guess maybe like someday, yeah, we'll go through it, but like, in the meantime, we'll like, at least elevate the, um, the bi, the bins, the tubs so that they don't get water logged.

Diana Rene: Right.

Julia: Um, and so that was the solution through the time that we lived there. Okay. When we moved, um, house has a pretty large garage. Um. And so I said, nothing goes into the new house until we sort through this stuff. So I thought we did a pretty good job back in 2013, I guess it was in, um, getting rid of a lot of things, but there were still like the bins full of like pictures and knick-knacks. Things that like maybe we thought eventually we'd bring into the house, but those went above the garage. So there's still like a good bit of things that. Really don't need to be here.

Diana Rene: Yeah. So that's probably another area that your husband is like anxious to get to. He is, yeah.

Julia: Like I just wanna, he's like, I just wanna have like kind of like sections. Like this is where the Christmas stuff is. Yeah. This is where camping stuff is kept, you know, more so it's more of like a storage area that works for you and makes sense instead of just. What is in this bin? And you're like, oh, you open it and it's like random, just random stuff. Right.

Diana Rene: I had a client, an in-home client four or five years ago who, um, she had boxes and boxes and boxes in her garage, like to the point where she couldn't park even, even one car in there. It was just full of boxes. Yeah. Um, and it was. Bo, like cardboard boxes, not bins. And what happened was mice got into her garage Yeah. And started eating through all the boxes and making nests and things like that. Um, and it was, so she called me like in a panic because we, we had to figure out what to do with all this stuff and, and really, like, she brought in an exterminator and he's like, you can't keep anything in here. Like, it's all been contaminated at this point. You don't know what. What kind of diseases they're carrying or anything like that. Um, so she just had to take the boxes and throw out all of the boxes in the garage. Um, and something interesting happened. She was really upset at the thought of doing that, but once she was like actually throwing the boxes out and like looking in them, she's like, oh, I don't. Now that it was contaminated and she couldn't keep it, she was like, I didn't need that. It was like the decision had been made for her almost. Yeah. Yeah. And she was able to like freely let go of everything in the garage and she was like, holy crap, this feels really good to have this space. And like, I didn't know how much that was like hanging over me. All of those dec unmade decisions basically. Right. In that really big space.

Julia: Well, I think of that in, you know, in cases of a house fire Yeah. Or something too, you know, um, where, you know, you have survivors and, and they're like, we're, you know, we're just so grateful to be alive. Like, we don't even care about anything that was in the home. We're just

Diana Rene: Yeah. Happy that. When you have like a really big life, you know, tragedy or trauma event like that. I had someone DM me on Instagram recently that, um, is from Ukraine and she said that she and her children had to flee their house, um, and go to another country. And she said all we had time to grab was like. A couple backpacks and like one suitcase. So she's like, I don't know if I'm gonna go back to anything or not. Yeah. But it's things like that where the decision is made for you. You don't get to decide what you get to keep or not. That really puts into perspective what this stuff is that you're holding onto and, and hopefully nobody listening to this has to go through anything like that, obviously. Yeah. But just putting yourself through that hypothetical. Can sometimes help you see what's really worth keeping and what isn't.

Julia: Yeah, absolutely.

Diana Rene: Yeah. Yeah.

Julia: Like if you had to, if you were told you need to leave in 20 minutes.

Diana Rene: Yeah.

Julia: Would you need to able to like sort it out in your mind?

Diana Rene: Yeah.

Julia: What would be important where you could find it?

Diana Rene: Right. So I'm in Colorado and we get in the mount in the mountains specifically. Um, and, and especially in the summers we get wildfires. Yes. Um, and just recently, I mean. On and off. There have been like some wildfires that have been closer to like the front range, which is like the Boulder Denver metro area. Um, but in December there was a wildfire that came down into the suburbs, um, of Boulder and superior, and burned over a thousand homes that like people never imagined that they would be like at risk. You know, like, they're like, oh, we're not in the mountains. Right. Yeah. It was like an especially windy day and it just traveled and they couldn't get it under control. Um, so there was another fire last weekend. Um, it's still going. Luckily there hasn't been any like structural damage yet because it is more up in the foothills of the mountains. Um, but my husband and I were in Boulder for our anniversary. Staycation that we did, and we were sitting at a bar and there was this older gentleman who was sitting next to us and was talking to us. And, um, he was there because his, he'd been evacuated from his house up in the foothills of, of Boulder. Um, and he was like, you know, this happened a couple years ago. And all I worried about was my wine collection. So he's like, so I, I had two hours and I packed my van full of like all, like my years and years worth of wine collection. And he's like, and I, he, and he said, um, oh no, it wasn't a fire. It was a flood. There was a flood. And so his basement flooded. Yeah. And he said that he lost like his birth certificate and like his, uh, passport and like all the important documents, right? So then he said this time around he was like, okay, I have to leave the wine because I have to get the important documents in case my house burns down because he is like, it was such a hassle to like, have to redo all of that. Um. Well, yeah. So I was like, I love that. The two big things to you are your wine collection and your important documents. Like those are all he cared about.

Julia: And that's, and like to think of, to haul, you know, all of those bottles I know. Then to like transport them without them, like, you know, clanking into each other and breaking

Diana Rene: Yep.

Julia: Is. Wow. That's,

Diana Rene: but he said something I know, but he was like, you know, you can re, you can. You can really replace most things. And he's like, I would, he goes, having been through this now twice in the last couple years, having to like act like mandatory evacuation. Um, I, he's like, I would really recommend having like some type of box or bin that like has everything important to you in it. Um, and he is like, sometimes you have to leave your wine collection at home life.

Julia: Yeah, it's kind of look like my husband. Um, he is, um, in the military. Yeah. Um, in the, in the guard. Um, and he always talks about like the go bag, you know, like, like having like a backpack full of, he would be better to tell you. Yeah. He, it's like, I always know when we go on a trip or something, he's just gonna have anything, you know, like sanitizing wipes or, um. You should think of to, to take. Right. But I just don't ever, because I kind of always know he'll have it. Yeah. So it's like maybe have a go bag and a go box or a go box, you know, that you can just, I know, have it ready to go and get out of there.

Diana Rene: I think the last two years have made me more aware of having, you know, a more prepared option if we did ever have to leave our house for anything, for like an extended period of time. But I feel like that's also a rabbit hole you can go down

Julia: with, right. The doomsday prepper. Yep. Extreme. Yeah. Or just having like the peace of mind, like if I had to leave right now, I could grab these things and I would be good to go.

Diana Rene: And I wouldn't be absolutely heartbroken if anything I left behind was gone forever. Yeah. And that's, you know, that's kind of hard to think about. Like, could you put into one bin or one box everything that you wouldn't be heartbroken over losing. I don't know.

Julia: I mean, I, I, I don't think there's any, personally for me, like any possession that if it was gone forever, that it would like alter my life, you know? Yeah. Like I. I would be sad. Um, but I mean, my husband and my daughter are my prized possessions. If you, you know, if you wanna just that way. Um, so I, you know, I, I guess I'd like to think of being able to like put special things in an area that I could quickly grab, but there just isn't really. Isn't much. Yeah. Photo that, you know, I don't have digital copies of like Yep. My wedding album. Um. And pretty much, you know, all the photos of my daughter like in the cloud, so I could access those if I needed. Um, that's easier

Diana Rene: now, right? Yeah. Like I think then like our parents' generation maybe had to think about that more because Yeah. We have, are able to store so much of our really important to us things visually, right? Yeah.

Julia: Which they weren't

Diana Rene: able to do. Like, my mom still has these big boxes in her basement of photographs from like our childhood that she hasn't gone through that. She just didn't have the option to store them digitally.

Julia: Yeah.

Diana Rene: Yeah.

Julia: And that's, that's such a huge undertaking as well, you know? Yes. That's, that's a, a big project to. Take something like that and, and then put it in a digital format. My dad has a lot of VHS like home videos and things, and you know, the problem with VHS is they deteriorate. Well, just a photo too if, if they're not stored properly. Um, but ideally it would be nice to have those home videos on DVD or even, um, just convert it to some sort of video that, you know, is privately stored on YouTube or something like that. Right. Um. But it's, you know, it's a project and it.

Diana Rene: It costs a lot of money and we've been looking into this also. My dad, um, he always had like a camcorder in his hand. Like in our childhood. He was like the dad that was always videotaping. Yeah. Um, and he passed away when I was 17. And so we have like this. Big box full of VVHS tapes at my mom's that she and I have like for the last 15 years, gone. Like, we keep saying we have to get these converted because they're not gonna work anymore. Um, but it's been really hard for her, uh, to turn them over to someone because she has to fully trust them, so, you know.

Julia: Right. Yeah. That's the thing too. You don't have like some sort of backup and Yeah. God forbid something, it gets damaged in the mail or, yep. Lost or whatever.

Diana Rene: Yep. Yeah. There's so many layers to that.

Julia: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So it's, they're safe keeping with her, but

Diana Rene: Right. But not even, like, we can't even watch because we don't have a VHS and I actually looked to see if I could buy A-A-V-H-S player just so that we could like, watch them ourselves and decide what to do with them or whatever. And I, you literally can't buy one unless it's from eBay and like, it's like a thousand dollars What? Yes. You cannot buy one, like even on Amazon, like nowhere. There is no more VHS. Wow.

Julia: Well my dad there is one at my dad's house.

Diana Rene: Okay.

Julia: Yeah. Right. So if you ever come to Pennsylvania Yes. Tapes with you and we'll have a watch party.

Diana Rene: Right. I know. And then you don't even trust those. 'cause it's like, what if those ruin, you know how they used to eat your teeth?

Julia: And it's done.

Diana Rene: I know. Um, okay. We kind of went down like a total rabbit hole there. Yeah. Fires. Um, Julia, what would you say has been the biggest, uh, like breakthrough or like aha moment for you as you've been going through the decluttering process?

Julia: There's, there's kind, realizing. The accumulation of clutter was contributing to anxiety.

Diana Rene: Yes. And,

Julia: and not being able to concentrate because I constantly feeling like I need to address that and, you know, deal with it. Um, move it outta here, but then being sidetracked to like the other things. So like the program has helped me, you know, like focus on the specific areas and not get distracted by the other areas and the other things. Um, and just feeling so accomplished, getting through them. Um, and then also, you know, the whole lesson of, of letting go and understanding that, you know, this item sparks a memory, but it's not the memory. Right. Um, and I think that the most recent aha is when I started going through the p. I went, you know, I, I had gone through my medical records before and had really purged them. Okay. But I hung on to everything from the infertility stuff. I had, I had two miscarriages before the infertility. Okay. And, um, I had, you know, like the only ultrasound pictures from each of those pregnancies. And then, yeah. The medical notes from the different doctors, like I bounced around to different hospital systems and things until I found really the, the ones, the medical team who was responsible for, um, helping us to accomplish pregnancy with, with our daughter.

Diana Rene: Mm-hmm. Um,

Julia: and so that stirred up kind of terrible memories because I had been like, dismissed so many times. By these providers who just weren't equipped to like, handle my particular situation. Okay. Um, and not listening to me like I, you know, I'm not a doctor, but like, um, just my internal, my intuition was telling me it was this thing that, like a hormone thing that needed to be addressed. And, um, I just don't think that they were. Not that they didn't want to help me, I just, I don't think that they had the, the tools to be able to do so. Right. And so it was just, it brought up that frustration. And, um, well, I don't, I don't need the, I don't need these medical notes to remind me of that time, you know, like, I have my, my prize, my daughter. Yeah. To remind me of, you know, just what happens when you, you know, hold onto the faith and the trust and. Um, the intention. So I, I don't need all of this messy stuff, um, to be brought up. So I love that. Yeah. Like, it doesn't serve me. There's a lot of things that I got rid of that don't serve me.

Diana Rene: Yeah. And I, I love that because we do, we hold on to things that don't serve us, just simply because we feel like we have to hold on to them.

Julia: Yeah. Like I. You know, and like kind of reflecting back, like when we were first talking, like, that's just always been I feel like my story, you know, like Yeah. But it is a, it is a big part of our daughter and, you know, if, if we hadn't gone through that, we wouldn't have her. Um, but like, it's not my identity. Right. You know? Um, and just letting go of that doesn't mean none of it happened, you know? Right. But just more so focusing on the positive outcome of it instead of the negativity and the frustration. And oh, there was also an experience with our old house. We had become landlords, Uhhuh, we ended up renting out for a couple years and we managed it ourselves and that worked out fine. We were able to, to find really wonderful tenants. Um, but then after I'd had my daughter. My husband was deployed with the military and so I was home with an infant. And um, you know, it's an older home, like I said, and plus any house has, has different problems and whatnot. Um. My anxiety was through the roof and I convinced my husband, husband, we need to, um, hire a property management company to help us out. Yeah. And that was actually kind of a mistake. Um, I don't know if it's because of the company that we chose or if that's just how the, the industry is, um, but. It was not a good situation. The, the person who managed our property was manipulative and just trying to get us to like, use their vendors for different things. So I have all that paperwork too. Like, I know I have to hold onto some things because of, um, taxes. We sold that home. Um, but like, I don't need the emails back and forth with the owner of the company and the frustrations I was expressing. Like, it just, it needs to all go, you know? Yeah. So that was definitely a in for records, you know? Yeah. Just,

Diana Rene: I dunno why I think it's, I think that's something that. Our parents' generation really held on to is like, you have to keep all of your receipts and you have to keep all of your bills, even if you've paid them. And like, um, so I think maybe that was something handed down to us that we just like, you know, was. Yeah, and I mean, they didn't have that digital side, right? So like they had to hold on to more than we have to hold on to because yeah, for us, like, yeah, you could hold onto this credit card statement, but you could also just log online and find that credit card statement. Um, right. So I think it's a different. World than what we were raised in. And like, that's when we were learning how to handle stuff like that is prior to more digital things too.

Julia: Yeah. And how to manage. I, I did, I signed up for electronic delivery, you know, years ago. So it's like, I always craved this, like just wanting to simplify things and get rid of the excess, but just never really fully. Like hundred percent in, you know.

Diana Rene: Yeah,

Julia: yeah. Um, I can't wait to do the digital decluttering because I don't get, I don't get, but I get electronic, um, communication and

Diana Rene: it's. Exactly. And then I burdensome mentally too, right?

Julia: Yeah. I think

Diana Rene: people like think that as long as it's like in the cloud or as long as it's on my desktop, like then it's fine. Um, but. Especially like our phones, like think about how many ti times a day we pick up and look at our phones. And if they are cluttered, which they likely are, then that's like con, that's, that's like sending stress signals to our brain every single time we pick up our phones. So yeah, it's a different type of clutter, but it's absolutely really present and I think it's going to be something that continues to like get worse and worse as we move more and more and more of our lives. To an online space. Yeah. I don't even pretend to understand like the whole metaverse and everything like that, but I, I'm just, you know, like if you would've told me when I was a kid that like, you could FaceTime, like my kids are like, you couldn't FaceTime when you were, you couldn't

Julia: FaceTime. Like, I'm like, no. Like, I, I mean, I, I, I had a cell phone when I was 16, which was in I guess 97. That's when I started. I had a cell phone, but it was like the brick, you know, like there was no, there wasn't a camera on it. I mean, right. Even during that time in, in the late nineties, like that was sort of unheard of for like, yeah. A teenager to have a cell phone, but

Diana Rene: Right.

Julia: Really had it for emergencies. I wasn't using, there was no texting, you know, you didn't even have texting, messaging on those phones. So

Diana Rene: Yeah, it's

Julia: mind, I'm sure for them to think like. You couldn't even take a picture. And there were days where you didn't even have a phone with you.

Diana Rene: Right. I know. I was in college when, um, when texting first came out. Um, yeah. And I like, have this vivid memory, like sitting in the living room with my roommates and like, someone was texting me before nine o'clock, so I was really annoyed because you know, you got charged like 10 cents a text before nine o'clock. And I was like, I'm just so dumb. Like texting is never gonna take off. Um, so like now I look back at that and I'm like, oh, you naive. College child. It's so funny. Like now, like somebody calling you is like, why are you calling me? Just text me.

Julia: Oh, text me first. Yes. Yeah.

Diana Rene: Um, so my last question for you, Julia, is like, how is walking into your home now compared to walking into your home prior to decluttering as far as like how you feel when you walk into your home?

Julia: Oh, it's much calmer. Yeah. It. It's like you feel more focus coming into the house because there's not like piles, you know, like we would come in through the dining room, which is connected to the garage. Mm-hmm. And you see the kitchen, the big like breakfast bar area, which for the longest time was the dumping ground for things. So. Now you come in, it's like clear. Yeah. And that's something that I asked my daughter recently because we we're doing the 30 day HHSR challenge. Did I say that right? Yep. And, um, just getting them all and they're, they're very much into it. My husband and my daughter. Um. Like with the PM pickup and things. So I asked my daughter, like, you know, how does it feel when you come down in the mornings, um, with the kitchen, you know, being clear and the living room being ordered. And she's like, hallelujah. Kids are so funny. I'm like, all that's okay. That's, that's a good way to feel in the morning, you know? Yeah. I guess I love that. I like, that's

Diana Rene: so cute.

Julia: When we did her bedroom too, like she would like open up her drawer and she would be like, like she'd just take like a nice deep sigh. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Oh, I love that. It's just that like nice, like sigh of relief and Oh, my cat's coming to visit you. Yeah, so it just feels calm and, um, I dunno, just not scatterbrained, you know, the minute that you walk through the door.

Diana Rene: I love that, and I think that that's something that I think about a lot is that, um, we're not e like by decluttering and adding systems and routines, we're not perfecting motherhood or we're not, you know, like taking all of life's problems and stresses away. But what we are doing is we're providing a blank slate for ourselves when we wake up or when we walk into our home that we're able to like. Work on or deal with whatever life is throwing at us in that moment without also having the burden of our home feeling like chaos. Yeah. Um. Which as we all know, our environment affects us probably way more than we'd like to admit.

Julia: Oh, absolutely.

Diana Rene: So, uh, and I just love hearing how the kids are and all the families going through the, because they say the funniest things and like their perspective is just so spot on. Like her breathing that sigh of relief, like that's what we feel. We just don't verbalize it, you know?

Julia: Yes, exactly.

Diana Rene: I

Julia: love. Yeah. And just the, I don't know, like to have her experience, like how good that feels and, um, and also just like reminding her that, you know, like it's, it's easier for me, not that it's about me, but like when she wants me to sit down and like play imaginatively, which I'm not great at. Like I like to do crafts and, oh yeah, me

Diana Rene: neither.

Julia: Stuff like that. Yeah. Um, but it's hard for me when things are, you know, all over the place to like, sit and really like, enjoy playing.

Diana Rene: Yeah.

Julia: Um, so I, you know, not to make it like her problem, but like help her to understand that like, I can't concentrate, you know, when, when things are out of place and so. Like, let me, can I just please work on this? And then as soon as I'm done with this, you know, I'm all yours.

Diana Rene: Yep.

Julia: Um, so I think she's starting to learn that, but it's hard for me to sit down. Yeah. Even, even with, you know, getting through the different parts of the course, like I still kind of feel like I'm working on something. If, if I'm not like decluttering something, then I'm, you know, trying to. Address a project or, or whatever. Yeah. Just like to be up and moving.

Diana Rene: Yeah. And I think it'll always feel like that to some extent, but I think that it shifts a little bit. Like as you finish the program, then it start, it starts to shift into more of like a feeling of like, I get to work on this specific project. Yeah. To like enhance our experience at home versus like, I have to get through this. To feel like I can breathe in

Julia: our home. Yeah, yeah. You know,

Diana Rene: um, I think it becomes more fun. Like even now I still feel like there's always something I'm working on in our home, but I think it's more of like I get to work on fun organizational type. Projects and things like that, that I think will help streamline even further. So I'm constantly looking to like, make things easier in every aspect. And, and the other thing is, is that we're constantly going through life changes. Like we're living in different homes or like our elementary kids are now in middle school, so they're bringing different types of stuff home. Like there's always going to be, um. Different things happening and new systems happening. Um, but when that clutter is gone, we're able to like, enjoy it more and turn it into something that we get to do versus something we have to do.

Julia: Oh, yeah. And it's not like this, you know, overhanging burden. Yeah. You know. Like, I need to handle that. Right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Diana Rene: Well, Julia, it was so much fun talking to you today. Um, thank you. Thanks for having me. Yeah, I just, I love hearing your story and like kind of the whole background of where you got to where you are now and how the process has been going. And it's really cool listening to, um. Just how your daughter has really embraced it, and I'm excited to see how she continues to do that as she gets older. I think you've given her like a really big gift because she is now being, she's growing up in an environment where she's learning totally different life skills that maybe you and I had, you know? So thank you for coming on, Julia. Yeah. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. Yeah. Thanks for hanging out and listening to The Decluttered Mom podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world if you could write a review or share this episode with a friend or your Instagram stories. And if you're on Instagram, be sure to follow me at the Decluttered dot mom and send me a DM to say hi. I'd love to hear what you thought about today's episode. I hope you'll come back next week and hang out with us again.