Episode 021: Reduce Holiday Stress

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[00:00:00] Diana Rene: You're listening to the Decluttered Mom Podcast. A podcast built specifically for busy moms by a busy mom. I'm your host, Diana Renee, and in 2017 I had my second daughter and it felt like I was literally drowning in. Okay. Not literally, but I felt like I couldn't breathe with all of the stuff surrounding me over the next 10 months.

[00:00:30] I got rid of approximately 70% of our household belongings, and I have never looked back. I kind of feel like I hacked the mom system and I am here to share all the tips, tricks, and encouragement. Let's listen to today's show.

[00:00:49] Welcome to another episode of the Decluttered Mom podcast. It is a couple days after Christmas, and if you are like most [00:01:00] moms, you probably are in still like a form of exhaustion, with everything, with all the days leading up to Christmas, and then the actual day of Christmas if you celebrate. Of course, it just afterwards sometimes feels.

[00:01:16] To be totally honest, like I want to like crawl into a hole and sleep for a week if that was possible. Right. Um, and so I don't know if you're feeling the same way, and I'm obviously not recording this after Christmas, so I don't know if I'll feel that way this year also, but I just think that there's like a really interesting thing that happens towards the end of the year.

[00:01:41] First of all, we have all of the holidays and it feels like everything kind of like happens together. Like there's Halloween and you have to get everything ready for that. And you have to pick out costumes and buy costumes and do school parades and do trick-or-treating and make sure you have candy at your house for trick or treaters and like there's all [00:02:00] these things that go into that right on top of.

[00:02:03] Normal, everyday busy mom life, and then you jump right into the holidays if you're like most people. Also, like even if Thanksgiving is still a month away after Halloween, our brains start to prepare for Christmas as soon as Halloween's over and some years, maybe more than others. Like this year for me, I had to like just slow.

[00:02:27] Slowly move into Christmas preparations because we moved like late October. And so to be totally honest, like it's, it's mid late December now and I'm still, we're still not fully settled into this house. And so like. It doesn't really feel like Christmas this year for me. And that's weird because Christmas is like my favorite holiday and it's my favorite time of year.

[00:02:53] Uh, I just think it's because we have had so much tr like transition, we're [00:03:00] still like, , we're still settling, we're still learning this house, we're still learning our new routines and systems, and so I don't know, but I, but at the same token, like I'm really leaning into just like enjoying this like, Slower feeling of Christmas where we didn't really decorate a ton.

[00:03:22] Like we decorated some, but we didn't decorate as much as normal. And I'm okay with that. And I'm okay with knowing like next year we probably will decorate a lot more. , but this year we decorated enough in the spaces that we were going to be in. That was like kind of the key thing for me is when I was like getting out the Christmas decorations and then I also went out and bought some new decorations just because it's a new house, so like it has different things that you can decorate, right?

[00:03:50] But what I kind of thought about was like, okay, what are the spaces that we are gonna be in the. And let's focus on those. So like really [00:04:00] the family room is the area that we decorated for Christmas. And besides that, the girls put like a couple of decorations into their bedrooms. Um, but besides that, we just kind of called it a day.

[00:04:13] And I have like, thought about going and decorating other parts of the house, but then I'm like, oh, but I don't know, I don't know if I wanna put all that work into it when they're, then they'll only be out for a couple weeks. So, I don't even know where I was going with that, but basically that Christmas feels a little bit weird for me this year, but that's okay.

[00:04:33] Now that you're listening to this, Christmas is over and we're kind of in that weird, funky time where like you were like, go, go, go. Everything for Christmas. You were figuring everything out. You're making sure everyone had what they needed. You were making things magical for your kids and your family, right?

[00:04:52] Because that's what we do. , but then Christmas happens, it comes and goes, [00:05:00] and we kind of go into this exhaustion mode. But then we also have the new year right around the corner. Um, which for me, you guys, I have, we have, we have a lot going on during the months of December and January because we have Christmas and everything that leads up to it, but.

[00:05:19] Both of my kids have birthdays within the first couple of weeks of January. And then my husband also has his birthday in the first few weeks of January. And so it's not only just like getting them gifts, but planning birthday parties and all of that, which most people are not really wanting to go to birth or bring their kids to birthday parties like in the beginning of January because they're so burnt out from the New year and from holidays also.

[00:05:44] Right? So it's just this weird, it's this weird dynamic, but. , I digress. So what I, what I think for most moms is that, uh, Christmas happens, we have this like exhaustion and then we go right into [00:06:00] like this new year mode where, I don't know about you, but for me, my experience has always been, I really enjoy the hope of a new.

[00:06:13] I think that it's really motivating to me to have like a fresh start. And so even though technically, like if you really think about it, January 1st doesn't really change anything. I think for me, I've always felt like it changed something and it was like a fresh start, a new beginning. Um, and so I always made resolutions.

[00:06:37] I always used to make resolutions. Something that that I didn't do great with when it came to resolutions was I am a V. I'm very much an all or nothing person, so it's like I am going to get healthy as my relu resolution, and then that means like I must eat perfect. Like I never have a piece of candy ever again, which I [00:07:00] have a major sweet tooth, so that's a problem.

[00:07:03] I will work out like three times a day and I will. Learn suddenly how to lift weights like a pro and like, like I research and I try to go all in or I set myself up to go all in. And then obviously when, when the time comes and nothing goes as planned or the majority of it doesn't go as planned because that's not possible to change your human behavior that much.

[00:07:32] Then I just fall off and I'm like, okay, I'm done with it. So like if I am like deciding I'm going to eat perfectly healthy and then like at two o'clock I decide to eat a kit cat bar, then I'm like, eh, I'm done. And then like for like a week, I'm like, don't eat healthy. So that, that obviously like it didn't work, right.

[00:07:52] My resolutions didn't work, but I still enjoyed the idea of a fresh start. Becau and. I [00:08:00] thought a lot about why that is, and I honestly think it's just because it's a good feeling to feel like you can be anything you want to be, or you can do anything that you want to do, and sometimes you just need a new beginning.

[00:08:20] Right? And so I think that's why resolutions are so captivating and. Desirable and also so like hard to break free from for so many people because we all crave that fresh start, whether it is with our health or our home or our relationships or like, there's so many things that our resolutions may be based around.

[00:08:45] But so then I kind of like swung to the opposite end of, of the pendulum where I was like, oh, like resolutions are so dumb. don't do resolutions. If you do resolutions and [00:09:00] you're just fooling yourself and like throw resolutions out the window, like it was just like just total opposite, right? Like I was like all about resolutions and then I was like, so anti res resolutions.

[00:09:13] Okay. I keep saying the word so much that I'm like starting to feel like it's not a real word. Do you guys do that with anything where you're like, . Okay, this is a tangent, but like if you just think about one, if you say one word over and over and over and like, how weird it sounds like Shu Shu and you say it like 50 times, you're like, what is that

[00:09:37] Okay. Anyway, um, if you're still listening, that is like a weird Diana brain. . I went like the opposite end and I was like, resolutions are dumb. But what I found for me was that then I didn't even try to do anything that I wanted to do. It was like, oh, that's, That's dumb. I'm not gonna be able to do it [00:10:00] sometimes I'm gonna try.

[00:10:01] And I think it took a lot of like, joy out of just life. And so I, and I, I think that like the new year then felt more like a negative thing, like a cynical thing where it was like, Ooh, nothing's gonna change, so I'm not gonna do that. Um, and then like that, like time, like the couple, like the first few weeks of January was just like, it felt like negative.

[00:10:22] but, and I didn't like that. And so I started doing resolutions again, and now I do, I don't know what I would call it. I don't know if it's a resolution. I don't know if it's a goal. I don't know if it's, a lot of people will do like their word for the year, which is wonderful. But that, like that concept never really worked in my brain.

[00:10:42] So now I like to do. I guess I would say more habits. Like what are the things that I can do in my daily, weekly, monthly life that are going to actually help me hit those big resolutions slash goals [00:11:00] that I always set for myself in the past? Does that make sense? So all of this to say, this is like the biggest lead up I think I've ever had on this podcast.

[00:11:11] I think. and I strongly encourage you to consider. For decluttering to be your resolution slash goal of 2023, and here's why. I think that anything you want to do, whether it be improving your health, improving your relationships, improving your education, like improving any aspect of your life is going to be influenced.

[00:11:40] By decluttering because when you have a space that you are in, it changes your energy and it changes everything about what you can do. What I mean by that is if you walk into your bedroom and it's a disaster, [00:12:00] you have a completely different feeling than if you walk into your bedroom. and it's really tidy and everything has a place, and there's not like a ton of stuff piled up in all the corners, right?

[00:12:13] When you walk into a tidy room, you feel different than if you walk into a room. That's a disaster, and that's gonna be in any area of your home. If you work from home and you have a home office and there's just crap everywhere, your productivity tanks, and that's not like my personal opinion, like that's science.

[00:12:34] There have been studies done on this. If you walk into your home office. Everything is where it's supposed to be and there aren't piles every. , your productivity will go up because you are automatically giving yourself an an advantage. So I like to say like whenever I'm on Instagram, uh, I always get interesting dms or comments about like, [00:13:00] you pretend like you don't have any stress in your life and like, that's not true.

[00:13:04] First of all, if you followed me on Instagram for any amount of time, you know that's not true. I talk about my stress, right? I think that people think that if you, the promise of decluttering is that you will never have stress again, and you'll have the perfect life in marriage and relationship with your children in perfect home and everything will be wonderful and nobody will get sick again, and you'll never have issues with your finances and everyth.

[00:13:34] is perfect, perfect, perfect. And that's not true. Like that's a lie. And if anyone is telling you that, then don't listen to them because that's not true. But what is true is that we all have things that happen in our life that are not good, right? That are negative. And we all always will, like, you know, we have different seasons where you'll have more.

[00:13:58] good. And then you'll have [00:14:00] seasons where you'll have more bad of course. But we all will have negative things in our lives that happen to us and that we have to work through and we have to deal with and we have to grow through. Right? But if we can take away the baseline stress of what I like to like kind.

[00:14:19] paint this picture as is. If you wake up in the morning and you, before your feet even hit the floor, you're stressed out because you have a pile of bills on your bedside table. So you immediately start thinking about everything that you have to pay and how, uh, you're having financial stress and, oh, I still have to do that.

[00:14:42] Oh, I. To do today and oh my gosh, why am I so like behind on this? And what, oh my gosh, I think I forgot this bill. Now I'm gonna get the late fee. And like all this stuff, right? And then you stand up and you see all the laundry piles on the floor and you're like, Ugh, I still have to do laundry. And oh my gosh, I [00:15:00] don't think I have that shirt ready for my daughter for school, uh, today that she has to wear for spirit day.

[00:15:06] And like on and on and on, right? Then you walk into the kitchen and there's dishes everywhere and you. When you wake up and you look at your home and it's a disaster and it's chaotic, then you feel like you're already behind before your day even begins, right? Like you feel like you already have a thousand things piled up on your plate, or better yet piled on your shoulders.

[00:15:34] Because as moms, we tend to carry the heavier load in the home. . So we feel like we're already behind. We feel like the weight of the world is already on us and we haven't even gotten into the actual real life problems that will probably happen at some point during the day. And so what we can do is when we [00:16:00] declutter really ruthlessly, and I'm not talking about like doing a declutter.

[00:16:06] once a year and you get rid of one box. That is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about ruthlessly decluttering our homes and our spaces of the things that do not deserve real estate in our home. , they don't deserve our time. They don't deserve our space and they don't deserve our energy yet here they are taking it all from us, right?

[00:16:28] So when we can really ruthlessly declutter and then everything that we do choose to keep in our home has a home. in our home . Then we have systems and routines to maintain the home, to keep it decluttered, to keep it running really smoothly, to spend the least amount of time possible on running our homes because we have better things to do with our lives when we wake up in the [00:17:00] morning.

[00:17:00] And that is the. You guys like, it's just, it's a whole different game. It's a whole different ball game. It is a game changer because you know what? When you like walk out the door and spill your coffee on your shirt, yes, it'll be really annoying because. , it's an annoying thing and you are a human living, a human life where you're going to experience problems, but your baseline stress level is much slower,

[00:17:32] So if you walk out of the home and you're walking to get to into your car to go to work and you spill coffee on yourself, ugh, that's annoying. But you know what, it's okay. I'll just go change really quick and I'll be on my way. versus like the former where like everything just felt already so stressful on the day.

[00:17:52] It's like a bomb went off and like something is set off because you are so sick and [00:18:00] tired of how hard everything feels every single day. Right. and I can, I can, I know this you guys, because I was there and I remember it with like, I vividly remember how overwhelming my days felt and it was. A huge part of it was because we just were living in chaos and we were living in chaos because we were keeping so much crap in our house that we didn't need that was taking up all my time to pick it up all the time and put it away where it didn't really even have a home to go to in the first place.

[00:18:43] We spend our money on things that take up our time, take up our energy, and took our money. When they didn't deserve it. But now that they're here, we're ready to move on and we're ready [00:19:00] to take our home back from the clutter. And when we do that, you guys, when we do this in 2023, we take our home back from the clutter.

[00:19:10] You will have that blank slate. Not only to deal with all of the things that happen that go wrong in your day or your week or your month, but to have that space and that energy and that ability to pursue all of those other things that you really want to pursue. Who knows what it is. Maybe you wanna learn how to sew this year.

[00:19:34] I don't know. Maybe you wanna really like get into hiking and you just don't have the time right now because you're so busy picking up and cleaning and taking care of everything. But if you have these desires to do more and to do. The things that you really want to do and to become who you really want to become, but you can't because you're just [00:20:00] so sick and tired of surviving and living in chaos.

[00:20:04] So when we can take away this clutter and we can take away this noise, doors just open up. Okay. Like, . It's just, it's so hard to explain until you unders until you're there, but it's just, you're, you're, you have more energy, you have more time. Uh, for me, I had like so much more patience. I had so much more patience with my kids, with my husband.

[00:20:31] I was a better friend. Like there's just so many things that happen when we are able to provide that stress-free baseline. Not stress-free life, but stress-free baseline. So no matter your resolution for this upcoming year, which I cannot believe is so quickly here, No matter what your goal [00:21:00] or your resolution is, or maybe you're in the camp of like, I hate resolutions and I just am trying to survive.

[00:21:06] I get it. I know. And I'm sorry that you're there right now because it's hard and it's lonely. And if I could give you a hug, I would, even though that might be a little weird if we didn't know each other, but I, I know I get it. And I just wish I could show you. What it would mean for you, for your family, for your home, honestly, you guys.

[00:21:33] For you. For you as a person, yes, for you as a mom, it will do amazing things for you as a mom, but for you as a person, whoever you were before you became mom, what interests you had and what lit you up, right? , being able to go dig into those and to grow who you are as a person is like, is a gift, [00:22:00] like none other.

[00:22:00] Right? So I think, and maybe I'm a little biased, but I think decluttering is one thing that you can do this new year that will greatly impact whatever area of your life you want it to impact because you are going to feel better. in your daily life, and that's going to allow you to do whatever you are wanting to do in other aspects of your life.

[00:22:27] That is my little like, uh, rant and encouragement to you. We are almost there to the New Year's and you know, we made it through the holidays and hopefully it was happy for you. Hopefully it was Mary. Hopefully it was magical, but if it wasn't, that's okay. And we are gonna keep moving forward. And we are going to declutter.

[00:22:49] We are going to declutter you guys. You probably already know this, but we have a free, totally free five [00:23:00] day decluttering challenge that starts on January 1st, and and I purposely every year make this on January 1st because I think it's a powerful thing to do. I think it's a really, really, really powerful thing to start our year off.

[00:23:18] in this way. And if you join the challenge, or if you've done the challenge in the past, and you already know this, but each day it's just five days. Each day we take one task that takes 15 minutes or less and you're like, uh, Dana, like, I don't, like, there's nothing in my home that I could do for 15 minutes that would make an impact.

[00:23:37] Mm. Just trust me. Trust me, and try it and trust the process, uh, because it. , it will take 15 minutes or less, but it also will make a difference in your home and how you feel in that specific space of your home. . So we do this for five days in a row. We, it's [00:24:00] five different things, but you get just one task a day that's going to make a big difference, but it's also going to kind of kickstart that momentum for you so that you can declutter and you can go through your whole home and you can, and you can do this, and you can make that baseline stress.

[00:24:20] For 2023. So join us. Uh, it just starts in a few days, January 1st, but you'll wanna get in before because we have some fun. Like we have a bingo card, uh, where you can earn some prizes and all of that. Uh, so it's gonna be a lot of fun. Join us, invite your friends because it's always more fun to do it with your, your friends.

[00:24:39] Also, all the information is in the show notes, or you can also DM me on. Instagram, you can send me the word challenge, just DM it to me. Challenge, and, uh, I'll get you the link right away. So you guys, I hope this was helpful to you. I hope this [00:25:00] encouraged you and I hope that you believe that you can do this in 2023 because I know you can.

[00:25:06] Uh, if. Ha are new here. Go back and listen to earlier episodes of the podcast where I share my story because I am not like this neat, tidy person, like naturally. That's that's not who I am. And if I can do it, you can do it too. I'll see you guys in the challenge. Thanks for hanging out and listening to the Decluttered Mom podcast.

[00:25:28] If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world if you could write a review or share this episode with a friend or your Instagram. And if you're on Instagram, be sure to follow [email protected] and send me a DM to say hi. I'd love to hear what you thought about today's episode. I hope you'll come back next week and hang out with us again.