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[00:00:00] Diana Rene: You're listening to the Decluttered Mom Podcast. A podcast built specifically for busy moms by a busy mom. I'm your host, Diana Renee, and in 2017 I had my second daughter and it felt like I was literally drowning in my home. Okay? Not literally, but I felt like I couldn't breathe with all of the stuff surrounding me over the next 10 months. I got rid of approximately 70% of our household belongings, and I have never looked back. I kind of feel like I hacked the mom system, and I'm here to share all the tips, tricks, and encouragement. Let's listen to today's show.

[00:00:50] Welcome to another episode of the Decluttered Mom podcast. Today I want to talk a little bit about a. Mindset shift for me. [00:01:00] And this is one of those things that I think can be really good for us as moms. Um, but it can also be a little toxic if we think everything in our life needs to be positive thinking and perfect and all of the above, right?

[00:01:16] So this is something where I think you can take what I'm saying and you can either apply it in a way in your life that's really healthy or you can also. Like completely shun it and that's okay. Um, or it can be, you know, when we work on our mindset over anything, uh, It can become like we are just everything.

[00:01:40] Everything should be positive and we should never feel bad, and I don't think that's true. So I just wanted to preface this episode with that because I think that anytime if, if someone has a bad experience with working on their mindset, then if they hear anything about working on your mindset, it's a little bit like, I don't know, [00:02:00] triggering or it's just upsetting.

[00:02:01] And so I wanted to bring that up. For me, um, I had never really, honestly, like, I've always been this like self-help person. Like even as a teenager, my dad and I would go to the bookstore together. That was like kind of our thing to just go do and hang out and look at books. And every now and then I got to buy one.

[00:02:23] Um, but I would always be. The self-help section because I wanted to learn how to start a business. I wanted to learn how to be a better person. I wanted to learn how to do all these things, uh, be the best version of myself, right? And so it was something that I've always been interested in. I think I probably get that at least in large part from my dad, um, because he was also that way with, with reading those types of books and everything like that.

[00:02:50] So, like I said, I've always kind of been, been interested in it or always thought about different ways that I could be improving my life or the lives of [00:03:00] people around me. Um, and then I started a business and. That was in 2018 is when, uh, the decluttered mom, everything with the, the decluttered mom began and minimalist starts here and all of that.

[00:03:15] And I joined a business program, uh, with James Wedmore, who has been my mentor over the years now, and a big part of his business program is all about mindset and how do we approach our business in a. in our life in a way that is going to benefit us and all the people around us. And all the people that we are serving in the best possible way.

[00:03:41] Right. Okay. And as I was going through all of his business mindset stuff, I started to think about like, how can I. Apply this to my motherhood, , just my life in general outside of business because, um, in that season I was in [00:04:00] like a pretty like tough motherhood season. My youngest like was not sleeping at all, and like it was a big issue because that meant I was not sleeping at all and so nobody was sleeping.

[00:04:13] Everyone was grumpy a lot of the time because of the lack of sleep we were dealing with a lot of picky eater issues. , we were living a lot further away from. School and friends and family than we wanted to. Not like across the country. I just mean like it, it took minimum 20 to 25 minutes to just go anywhere, and I felt like I was living in my car and my youngest hated being in the car seat, so I felt like I spent half my day listening to her scream

[00:04:43] So it was just one of those periods, right? It was just one of those chapters in my life that I felt like was just extra hard. and I was trying to find ways to like apply these mindset principles into my motherhood and my daily life. [00:05:00] And one of the things that. I really, really started doing that. I found impacted me and how I showed up as a mom.

[00:05:09] Um, because I think sometimes when we are in seasons like that and we're feeling really overwhelmed and we're tired, rightfully so, we're just really irritable . We're really short with the people around us that we love and that's not something you want to do. Right? And so, um, one of the little like hacks I used was any time I felt like I.

[00:05:30] Had to do something, so it was like, uh, I have to go into her room at 3:00 AM because she's screaming again and she won't go to sleep. , I switched that. And I would say instead, like, I would think I have to, and I could like feel it in my body, like the frustration, right? And the irritation. Um, and if you're a mom and you say, you've never felt this way, then I like, want to meet you because that's amazing.

[00:05:59] But I think [00:06:00] most of us can relate. Um, so I would take that, I ha uh, like, ugh, I have to go in there to. I get to, I get to be the person that she wants when she is feeling scared in the middle of the night, and I get to be the one that she wants to comfort her and I get to be the one who does comfort her and who helps her when she is really distressed.

[00:06:27] Okay. So like just shifting it into that I have to versus I get to. I like at times it did nothing . I would be too irritated and it would do nothing. Right. But there were a lot of times that that little shift would give my, give my body and my heart and my brain just a little bit more. Like empathy and compassion and softness, and it was something where like, I don't know, even then you just feel [00:07:00] like they're growing up so fast.

[00:07:02] And so this also helped me to just slow down. I think that sometimes we are with our kids. I, I think just in general in life, this is true, but especially like I've noticed it. our kids and with my friends and their kids, or like other people I've seen, is that we are always kind of looking to the next stage, right?

[00:07:23] Like, oh, when they're a baby, we can't wait until they're eating like real food because, uh, that'll be so fun to like feed them real food. And, um, you can't wait until they're crawling and then you can't wait until they're walking and then you can't wait until they're, you know what I mean? Like, we go through this.

[00:07:41] what's next mentality. Um, and I think that's a little bit just human nature because we always want, we want something to look forward to. Um, but I think that when we have kids and they just grow up so fast that this like shift kind of helps us slow [00:08:00] down and appreciate and be present in the moment. Um, I can't even tell you how many times, like when I first started doing this, I was really busy.

[00:08:11] Like I, you know, my business had started, uh, going on and, um, I wa I had women that I was helping and so I worked from home and I didn't have any childcare at all. Um, and so I was on my, like, I work on my phone most of the time when I'm working. and I would find myself getting irritated about something with my kids, and then I would be like, oh, maybe because I'm not even like in the present moment with them right now.

[00:08:37] I am in the wor I'm my, on my phone in my world of work, while they just need me and they need my eyeballs looking at them. Um, and so it kind of would, it would help me be present and there are so many times. I would have that, uh, I have to do x, I have to do something. And I would [00:09:00] give myself that mindset shift of I get to, and it was like I didn't even care about my phone at that point because then I was like in the moment and I was remembering like, oh yeah, she's.

[00:09:11] Only three years old and she's only gonna be three years old for so long, and this is something that I can do to help her through this. And I'm the only person in the world she wants to help her through this. Right? So there's just all these things that we can kind of take this and we can apply it to, again, is it gonna help you every time?

[00:09:30] No. Maybe it won't even help you at all, but give it a try and see if it helps you in those moments where you're just feeling really. Frustrated or overwhelmed with things that we have to do because as moms we have to do a lot, right? We have so many different responsibilities. We have so many plates that are like juggling in the air, and it can be, it can feel really easy to get into that.

[00:09:54] I have to. Mindset. And the more we practice the I get to mindset, [00:10:00] the more it just comes naturally to us. And you might be saying like, Dana, why are you talking about mindset on this podcast about decluttering? And I think it's because number one, that's just who I am. Um, but number two, I think that when we simplify and when we minimize, we are working towards like a better life for ourselves and for our family.

[00:10:22] And. . When I think about like how I want to be as a person, who I want to be as a person and the life I wanna create for our family, I also want to be like, I want to be a present and happy mom. And that was something that when I was like drowning in my own home, I didn't even have the luxury to think about, right?

[00:10:49] Why? Because I was like legit in survival mode 24 7. So when we simplify, when we minimize, we open up all this extra time, [00:11:00] we open up all this extra energy and patience, and it's really, really, An interesting concept because I can't tell you how many times women have gone through my program and then they have DMed me after and they're like, Diana, I loved your program.

[00:11:16] It changed my life, but now I have all this extra free time and I don't know what to do with it, and I feel bored. And I'm like, well, that's a good problem to have as a busy rob, right? But. . Um, I think that when we, when we go through that process and when, when we are simplifying and when we are making our lives easier for ourselves, we then open up this whole world of like, okay, great.

[00:11:39] Now you, you have stepped out of survival mode now. Where, where, what do you wanna do with that? Right? Where do you wanna be? Who do you wanna be? What kind of mom do you wanna be? What kind of person do you wanna be? And I think that that just kind of opens the door for a world of possibilities. Now, do I think that you have [00:12:00] to have like decluttered and simplified to be able to work on that?

[00:12:03] No, not at all. I just think it is easier because you have more time and energy to do it, but sometimes it's in that survival mode. Sometimes it's in that survival mode that you need it the most, because that's when things can feel extra chaotic. Um, for us, I, I tend to notice that I need to use it more when there's illness going on because like mom always tends in our house to be the one who, um, they want when they're sick and, and who is up with them in the middle of the night and all of that.

[00:12:37] anytime. There's like a, a big stressful thing. So like when we were moving, I had to use this a lot, um, packing and all of that. But even when we, like I've talked a lot about this, even when we have simplified. We don't like, life isn't like snap your finger. It's magically a perfect and everything in the world is okay.

[00:12:58] Right? No. It just removes that, [00:13:00] that baseline stress level. Okay, so I hope this was helpful for you and I'm very curious. I have a lot of these little like mindset. Hacks with motherhood. I'm curious if this was helpful, if this is something you wanna hear more of or know. So send me a DM on Instagram. I'd love to hear from you and kind of what you took away from it and if it's something you wanna try or if you're like, Diana, I don't wanna hear about this , I would love the feedback and I hope you guys have a great rest of your week and we'll see you on next week's episode.

[00:13:30] Thanks for hanging out. To the Decluttered Mom podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world if you could write a review or share this episode with a friend or your Instagram stories. And if you're on Instagram, be sure to follow me at thedeclutteredmom and send me a DM to say hi. I'd love to hear what you thought about today's episode.

[00:13:53] I hope you'll come back next week and hang out with us again.[00:14:00]