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Diana Rene: 0:00
Welcome to another episode of the Decluttered Mom podcast. I am really excited to talk to you guys about something and it's gonna be a tiny bit different than things we have maybe talked about before because, uh, I had a really big week and it was exciting and I just wanna share it with you. But I also wanna share some takeaways with you that I think we can apply to many parts of our life, to our home, to parenting, to our marriage, to like.

Diana Rene: 0:30
Our entire life we can apply these takeaways for, so I just wanted to share them for you, with you, um, as I've kind of been processing them and everything like that. You're listening to the Decluttered Mom Podcast, a podcast built specifically for busy moms by a busy mom. I'm your host, Diana Renee, and in 2017 I had my second daughter and it felt like I was literally drowning in.

Diana Rene: 0:56
Okay. Not literally, but I felt like I couldn't breathe with all of the stuff surrounding me over the next 10 months. I got rid of approximately 70% of our household belongings, and I have never looked back. I kind of feel like I hacked the mom's. And I'm here to share all the tips, tricks, and encouragement.

Diana Rene: 1:18
Let's listen to today's show. For those of you who maybe just found this podcast and you have no idea who I am or what I do, I, well, hi, my name is Diana. Um, but I have an online business where, uh, I offer online courses that help busy moms in their home. A bunch of different ways. My biggest course, or my most well-known course is called Minimal Ish Starts Here, and it's how to declutter your home, A to Z every step of the way, every single space, how to overcome the emotional, mental obstacles with decluttering, but also like actual how to declutter every single space.

Diana Rene: 2:02
So that is my most well known and biggest course, but I have all different types of courses that are all surrounding home management and just mom life management. Right. And I started this course in, or not, this course, I started this business in 2018, which that sounds insane to me to say out loud because that means it's been five years and it doesn't feel like five years.

Diana Rene: 2:25
But I started it in 2018 after I went through my whole journey with decluttering and simplifying, and you guys, I have a squeaky chair today. I'm sorry, my back is hurting, so I have to sit in this chair, but it is so squeaky. So I just apologize ahead of time. Um, I hope you can bear with me. So I s. If you wanna hear my story about how I started decluttering, how I started minimizing and learning how to live this more simplified life, then check out episode number one because I go through my whole story.

Diana Rene: 2:56
Um, I'm not gonna do that here, but I started that in 2017 and then I started doing like in-home, uh, decluttering for people. . Uh, and then it's shifted to like me realizing that I was doing them a disservice by going in and doing it for them, and that by teaching them how to do it and how to overcome the mental blocks with it, it greatly served them so much better because they were able to not only declutter better, but then they were also able to maintain it without me in their home, helping them maintain it.

Diana Rene: 3:28
So, That is when I shifted to the online course business model, and it was a little scary for me because it was new and also I couldn't be in the person's home like helping them. And that was weird, right? That was like something that wasn't normal for me. And so, um, , I started researching like crazy. I started listening to podcasts.

Diana Rene: 3:52
I started buying courses on how to run an online business because I wanted to make sure that I was doing it in a way that was still really helpful, uh, or even more helpful than when I had in-home clients. So 2018 brought me to, uh, this course and this person, his name is James Wedmore. And. He had this big course that I invested in in late 2018, I think it was like October, 2018.

Diana Rene: 4:21
And I, it was a really big investment for me and it was really scary and I am not kidding, like when I say I lost sleep over this, like I know that's. That's like a, um, kind of a dramatic like saying, but it's, it's honestly true. Like I would lay in bed at night trying to decide whether or not I was going to invest in his course.

Diana Rene: 4:46
And again, it was a mu, it's a, it was a much higher price point than anything I had ever bought before for my business or honestly, like a lot of things in my life. And so, I went through, I ended up buying it. Um, I kind of accidentally bought it. Actually, funny story because I was so nervous about buying it that like I put all my credit card information in and then like I was hovering over the submit button and then I was like, no, no, no, no, I can't do this.

Diana Rene: 5:15
I can't do this. Like this is too much. Like, I like, who am I like, I can't do this right? So I like shut my laptop and I went to put Miss six down for her nap, who was still a little baby then. And then after I put her down, I came back to my computer and I was like, okay, like. I'm at peace with not doing this.

Diana Rene: 5:36
And when I hit the enter or return button on my laptop to wake it up, it submitted and bought the course . And I was like, what just happened? And I was like freaking out. And that's like a whole nother story for a whole nother day, but, All that to say, I bought this course and this course taught me how to run an online business and how to do it in a way that really gets my students results and how to market the course and all of that.

Diana Rene: 6:07
And I learned so much from it and I have constantly revisited the course and, uh, stayed in touch with James and ended up doing some like training with him to become a better coach. For my program, uh, I think in 2019, maybe 2020. Uh, and then I found out in late 2022 that he was accepting applications for his high level mastermind, which is called Performance Mastermind.

Diana Rene: 6:38
And uh, this was a mastermind that when I first joined his course in 2018, I was like, okay, one day maybe I can. that, like, that feels like a really big goal for me in my business. Um, and then when he opened applications I was like, Hmm, that sounds cool, but it also sounds terrifying because I saw the businesses that were in this Mastermind and it was intimidating, uh, and felt kind of out of my league, I guess as a business owner.

Diana Rene: 7:09
Um, I remembered then something that James had said to me on a coaching call back in late 2018 when my business was just a teeny tiny newborn, and he said that growth happens out of your comfort zone. And I remember like thinking, okay, how can I go out of my comfort zone to grow? And what I chose at that time was to face my fear of like public speaking.

Diana Rene: 7:44
And um, it's really funny because I actually went to college with my major was interpersonal communication. And public speaking, and so I had to do all of, you know, I. Do public speaking all the time in my major, but like doing it in front of my class was one thing, but doing it in front of like a room of moms, like who like, you know, can, can be judgey, it can be hard.

Diana Rene: 8:17
Like I felt like I was just going to be, I honestly felt like if I stood up in front of a room of moms, I would just collapse and die out of embarrassment. You know what I mean? Right. Like I'm a mom, all my, a lot of my friends are moms, but moms can be a judgey bunch when you get a big room of them together.

Diana Rene: 8:38
So I decided to tackle that fear and I decided I am going to become a great public speaker and I am going to help moms in this way. And so I started speaking to local moms groups, like primarily MOPS groups, but a couple of other, uh, types of organizations and. The first, like probably honestly 15 times, I was like a sweaty mess and I'm sure I tumbled over my words and maybe I didn't even really make sense half the time....

Diana Rene: 9:11
Um, but I got really good feedback and I learned and I recorded like I would. Prop my phone up and record myself and then watch myself and see what I could do to improve. And, um, just the act of being on stage and deciding I am going to be uncomfortable in order to grow, like I'm willing to be uncomfortable and sit in this discomfort in order to grow, uh, changed so much about.

Diana Rene: 9:43
Just how I operate and like, not even just in public speaking, like I haven't been doing it nearly as much the past couple years, honestly, because of Covid. Um, I just stopped all together for like two years and now I'm like slowly starting to get back into it. But it made my confidence grow and it made my belief in myself grow and it made my business grow.

Diana Rene: 10:09
None of those things would have happened if I had decided to stay in my cozy comfort zone, which it's so easy to do and especially with how like, Chaotic our world has been for the last few years. Uh, staying in our comfort zone is really appealing and staying in our cozy zone where we don't have to add to our anxiety or our worry or our fear is so tempting.

Diana Rene: 10:40
But that was the first time in a long time that I really was like, wow, like pushing myself and making myself uncomfortable really helped me grow. So fast forward to. Early or late December, 2022. I found out that I got into this mastermind and I was so excited and I like had this moment you guys were the team member, uh, on James' team called me to tell me that I got in and welcome me, welcome me into the group and all that.

Diana Rene: 11:13
Um, and my first instinct was, . Oh my gosh, that's so exciting. And I was like so happy and I was like smiling on the phone and then like it was like the next second. I like stopped smiling and I was like, oh crap. Like this is terrifying. I have to like, I have to do to be in this group, I have to do a lot of things that are going to be outta my comfort zone.

Diana Rene: 11:38
And the major part of it was that part of this Mastermind is committing to being at three in-person retreats throughout the year. So the Mastermind is from January to December, it's the full calendar year. Um, and we meet monthly on like Zoom calls for coaching, but three times in the year I have to go outta my comfort zone.

Diana Rene: 12:01
I have to fly somewhere by myself without my kids, uh, and be present, right? Um, and so a little backstory on that. Before I had Ms. Mine, I worked in. Well, I worked in several different industries, but when I was, um, for the five or six years, I think before, uh, she was born. Was it five or six years? Now I'm gonna, now I'm questioning myself maybe four years.

Diana Rene: 12:33
I don't know. Um, all that to say, several years before that she, before she was born, I worked, um, at a trade school. Essentially. It was like a career college, but it taught, it, it was a, a college that taught things that were more trade specific versus like a four year degree. So I was in admissions for that college, and I would travel to d.

Diana Rene: 12:59
Uh, campuses across the country to help them with their admissions process. So I would be gone sometimes for like three weeks. Like they wouldn't fly me back and forth on the weekend. They would just be like, Hey, can you go to Little Rock, Arkansas from December 1st through December 22nd? I'd be like, okay.

Diana Rene: 13:18
So I'd just be, I'd fly out and then I'd stay there for like two or three weeks at a time. Um, and then I'd come home and like it was just me and my husband. And so it, it was hard at times, but it was nothing like, Weird. It wasn't really even that hard because he worked a lot too. So it wa it didn't feel very different except for the weekend.

Diana Rene: 13:36
So I just, I traveled somewhat frequently for work and it was normal to me and it wasn't really nerve-wracking. Um, I enjoyed it most of the time and, um, but then I got pregnant and decided to stay home. Uh, I was only going to stay home for a year, but obviously that shifted and, uh, then I. Left my oldest when she was two for like a three day trip with my mom and sister.

Diana Rene: 14:06
Um, and besides that, you guys, when Ms. Nine was two, that's the last time I had left my kids overnight, ever like so to go from like, for like seven years of not leaving my kids overnight and then like that means for miss six, I had never left her over. Um, and they have, they have had like a sleepover at Nana's.

Diana Rene: 14:34
Twice, uh, for one night. So like, we've had that, but not where like I have left the state, um, without them overnight. And I was like, uh, accepted into this mastermind. And then I was realizing that that meant in February I had to leave them for four nights in a row out of state and that. Terrifying to me.

Diana Rene: 15:01
And if you are a mom who like has always left your kids, um, overnight or you not always, you know what I mean? But like if you have, um, routinely like gone on trips or you travel for work or um, whatever that may be, which. Isn't like me not leaving my kids for seven years is excessive, to be honest. Like I , I, I wish I hadn't gone that long.

Diana Rene: 15:26
Um, part of it was covid, like that was never the plan or anything like that. But, uh, I wish that I had done it more frequently when they were littler because it, it wouldn't have been as hard. And I do think it's healthy. I just, I have a lot of anxiety with it, and so I. Stayed in my comfort zone. I didn't push myself and I didn't really have a big enough reason to do it right or like that kind of forced me outta my comfort zone.

Diana Rene: 15:55
But then when I joined this mastermind, I knew I had to because I committed to this thing. I went through a whole like several week process of applying and. Putting things together to be able to do it. And I got in and I kind of felt like that was the universe being like, okay, Diana, it's time to push yourself.

Diana Rene: 16:19
And so I knew that I had to go four days out of town without my kids. I knew that that would put more on my husband, who, you know, I stay home and I run the business so, Schedule is like crazy flexible. I can move things around and if I have to go pick up one of the girls because they're sick at school, it's no big deal.

Diana Rene: 16:44
Like, yeah, it may be a little bit harder for me to catch up that week with work, but I can do it very easily. And for him and his job, that's not necessarily the case. And so I was worried about that. I was worried about one of the girls getting sick or getting hurt and not being here for them, number one, but also number two, like how that would impact my husband and, and his work.

Diana Rene: 17:07
And, um, rewind. I need to rewind a little bit though. Okay. When I say that I had not left them for seven years, I wanna make it very, very clear that I don't think I was like, Good or better mom for not leaving my kids. Um, I, I have seen that before. I have seen that with, uh, some people on social media who are like, oh, I could never leave my kids, or I could never go on vacation, or I could never like, go out of town for work for that long and like blah, blah, blah.

Diana Rene: 17:42
That's not what I'm saying at all. And I just wanna make that very a hundred percent clear. Me not leaving my kids overnight for seven years is not some like, Like amazing thing. It's, it's, it's, it's just out of pure anxiety that I did not do it prior. So all that to say, I just wanted to be a hundred percent crystal clear when I'm talking about this.

Diana Rene: 18:07
So, coming back to the retreat, I, um, knew that I was going to be leaving them for four nights, and so I did all these things . , I said to calm their anxiety, which yes, true. But I also to calm my own anxiety. Um, and I like wrote them letters that they could open every day. And I made sure that they had all their favorite snacks for lunches and you know, like all these things that, um, I wanted to just make sure everything would go okay....

Diana Rene: 18:38
Um, but something interesting happened. So the day that I. Rewind again. Oh my gosh. You guys, my brain. Okay, so the day, the morning of, yes. Was it the morning of, I think the morning of I sent a text message to my mom and my sister, and then separately to my husband ba basically saying like, I can do this, right?

Diana Rene: 19:02
Like, tell me I can do this. Tell me it's going to be okay. Because. Freaking out. Um, I was excited to go to California. I was excited, uh, for the hotel we were staying in because it was like this really nice looking cool hotel, like boutique hotel. Uh, I was excited to meet all of the people that I would be spending this year with.

Diana Rene: 19:26
I was excited to learn cuz I knew I was going to learn so much. Um, and I was honestly excited to like, push myself out of my comfort. But I was terrified that I couldn't do it. I was terrified that I would let the anxiety win. I was terrified that, um, something bad would happen either with myself or with my kids or my husband and I would have to fly home right away.

Diana Rene: 19:54
Um, I was terrified that. All of the things, right? Like my brain was putting me through all of the worst case scenarios and at that point, like getting ready to leave for the airport, I like had a freak out moment and texted them and they all encouraged me, , they all, you know, calmed me down. And then when I got to the airport and I, I kind of got distracted because I was like figuring out, you know, the airport and all that.

Diana Rene: 20:20
And then I got through and I got to, to my gate and I sat down and I had another like freak out moment, like, okay, I can't do this. This is too scary, this is too uncomfortable. I am so anxious, like, I'm gonna be so anxious that it's not even gonna be worth it because I'm just gonna be freaking out the whole time and be worrying the whole time.

Diana Rene: 20:40
And. . I was like, Diana, like I basically told myself to shut up. Like, you are doing this. Like you're already in the situation. You have already decided that you are doing this. And so h what can you do to like support yourself basically like get leaving the airport and going home and. emailing the Mastermind like, Hey, sorry, I couldn't do it.

Diana Rene: 21:08
Um, is not an option. So what can I do to support myself? And so, , I got up and I started walking because I knew just like moving my body would help. And then I put a podcast on that I really enjoy listening to, to just, just distract myself. And I went and I got a bottle of water because I was like, I need to hydrate.

Diana Rene: 21:27
So like all the just basic things that I could do to support myself, which supported me enough to get on the plane and to go to California and I checked into the hotel. and that night it was just, you know, like I ate dinner and basically took a shower and went to sleep because I knew that the Mastermind started bright and early the next morning.

Diana Rene: 21:49
And the next morning again, like another freak out. And then I forced myself to go to walk down the hotel, um, hallway to go down to where the retreat was being held. And, um, after maybe like an hour of being at the retreat, I was able to finally, Take a breath and be like, Diana, this is uncomfortable, but it's going to be okay.

Diana Rene: 22:14
And then by the end of the first day, you guys, I was like, I was so excited because I had learned so much already on better ways to support you in better ways to run the business and better ways to support my team in the business. And then I also had just connected with the most amazing people. Online business is weird.

Diana Rene: 22:39
Um, it's not like, you know, it, it's still like a somewhat new concept. And so when I tell people, like if I meet someone, um, and I tell them what I do, like I get a lot of confused looks and like people are like, I don't under, like, how do you do that online? And I don't. Um, and so the, just the simple act of being in a room.

Diana Rene: 23:03
Full of people who 100% understood everything I was saying with on my, with business. Um, they understand all the verbiage and what I'm talking about. Like that alone was so refreshing and like gave me so much energy that that alone was like so worth it. And that was obviously not the only thing I got out of it.

Diana Rene: 23:27
So, It was just, it was so nice you guys to be able to be understood and to feel seen, I guess maybe is another way of seen and understood. Um, and I called the girls that night, we decided to do FaceTime like. Not at bedtime. That was a suggestion by a couple of my friends that do travel more often for work.

Diana Rene: 23:52
Um, so we did that and Ms nine was like totally fine. MS six had a little bit of a hard time, but not nearly as hard as I thought she would. And then by the second night that we did FaceTime, like they didn't even like, They were like, no, hey mom. Like , yeah, we miss you. But like they were telling me all the fun things that they were doing with dad and Nana and school and like I, I was missed, but I wasn't like, it wasn't to their detriment, I guess I should say.

Diana Rene: 24:26
And I realized that it was really healthy for me to be. Away and to be like business owner Diana versus mom 24 7. Because even when I'm home and I'm running my business, mom is still like always the, always running in the foreground. Honestly. Like not even the background. Right? And that's not bad, but. , I think it was really healthy for me to be able to like disconnect a little bit for a few days and to only be person and friend and business owner, Diana versus mom at home.

Diana Rene: 25:11
Right. And I think it was really good for my kids and my husband, um, to be able to like be home without me. Micromanaging everything, right? Like they've probably had the time of their life. Um, but I just feel like it was something that was really good for all of us. And now I know that the next time, because I have two more retreats this year.

Diana Rene: 25:36
Um, I know that the next time that I go, it's not going to be as scary. Will it still be scary? Yes, because it'll still, it'll still make me anxious. I'll still have those like what ifs and whatever, but now that I've done it once I know that I will go into it with much more confidence. I have one trip under my belt, and so there are things I will do or not do based on how this first trip went.

Diana Rene: 26:03
More than anything, I just know that I have grown and I will, I can only attribute that to stepping out of my comfort zone in a big way and being okay with being uncomfortable knowing that it was going to benefit myself, my family, my kids, um, this business and. . I don't know. I don't know where you are. I don't know if you have a business.

Diana Rene: 26:36
I don't know if you work, I don't know if you, you know there are, if you're listening to this, there are probably like 10,000 different scenarios. Right. But I just want to encourage you to, Push yourself out of your comfort zone sometimes, even if it's just a tiny way, like I'm talking about like a big thing, right?

Diana Rene: 26:59
That I did. But what tiny things can you do to push yourself a little bit out of your comfort zone on a daily basis, or a weekly basis, or a monthly basis, or even just once a year that can help you grow because. We all want to grow, whether it's in our business or just personally or in our marriage or in our parenting, or we have so many different facets to who we are as people.

Diana Rene: 27:28
So are there things that you can do that you can identify in your life that you can just take a tiny uncomfortable step, just a tiny little bit of discomfort and sit with it and be okay that you are growing out of it. And again, that can look like a million different ways. Um, I'm not telling you to go do something dangerous, I'm just saying to be okay being a little bit uncomfortable if you know that the outcome of it is going to make you more confident or give you growth in some arena....

Diana Rene: 28:05
Um, and I just want you to be open to that idea. So I know this is a little bit different than my normal episodes, and it's actually probably the longest episode that we've ever done, and I apologize for that cause I know I like to keep them 20 minutes or less. But this was just a really important lesson for me that I really wanted to share with you, and hopefully you can find some value out of it.

Diana Rene: 28:31
Also. Thanks for hanging out and listening to the Decluttered Mom podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world. If you could write a review or share this episode with a friend or your Instagram. And if you're on Instagram, be sure to follow me @the.decluttered.mom and send me a DM to say hi.

Diana Rene: 28:51
I'd love to hear what you thought about today's episode. I hope you'll come back next week and hang out with us again.