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[00:00:00] Diana Rene: You're listening to the Decluttered Mom Podcast. A podcast built specifically for busy moms by a busy mom. I'm your host, Diana Renee, and in 2017 I had my second daughter and it felt like I was literally drowning in. Okay. Not literally, but I felt like I couldn't breathe with all of the stuff surrounding me over the next 10 months.

[00:00:30] I got rid of approximately 70% of our household belongings, and I have never looked back. I kind of feel like I hacked the mom system and I'm here to share all the tips, tricks, and encouragement. Let's listen to today's show.

[00:00:50] Awesome. So I have Olivia here with me today. Um, and Olivia is a member of Minimalist Starts here. So we're just gonna kind of talk about her [00:01:00] journey and where she started from and where she is now. But first, Olivia, if you can just share a little bit about yourself, who you are, and a little bit about your.

[00:01:12] Olivia: I'm Olivia. I'm 27 years old. I'm from California, but I'm living in Washington state right now. Awesome. And I'm a stay-at-home mom full-time. I do have like a side customer service job that takes me about an hour a day. Um, but yeah, I'm home with my kids. I have a two daughters, a three-year-old and a one-year-old.

[00:01:32] And my husband works from home as well. So we're all at home together a lot, which is fun. , 

[00:01:38] Diana Rene: that is a lot. Yeah, we had a year, well not a whole year, we had like seven, eight months of that during 2020. Um, and it was, it was a lot. It was an adjustment. It was a, you know, different types of challenges and different types of joys.

[00:01:54] Olivia: Yes, it's nice that my husband can help during the day, but it's also I have to, you know, be wary of [00:02:00] noise and yes. Um, things like that. , yes, 

[00:02:03] Diana Rene: that was our biggest issue also. Um, when, when Covid happened, um, my oldest was in kindergarten, so it was like our first year of experiencing. Her being gone during the day, you know, because she, she did preschool, but it was like two hours, three days a week or something.

[00:02:21] It was very short. Um, and then Covid happened and she came home for online school for an entire year. Um, and then my husband came home and wasn't working in the office, and so it was like, Oh, like we were just starting this transition into like a little bit different and then it was like, just kidding.

[00:02:40] You guys are all gonna be home together. . And at the time it felt like it would be forever. Right? Because nobody knew what was going on. . 

[00:02:48] Olivia: Yeah. . Yeah. 

[00:02:50] Diana Rene: Um, so when did you join the 

[00:02:53] Olivia: program? I joined at the end of June, 2022. And, [00:03:00] I had a lot of summer vacations happening last summer. It took me about three months to get through the program, the decluttering portion of it.

[00:03:09] Diana Rene: Okay, great. Um, and before you joined the program, how did you feel in your home? . 

[00:03:17] Olivia: Um, it's kind of, uh, a funny story because originally, you know, my home felt fine to me. Okay. We had moved just two years ago from a one bedroom apartment to a four bedroom house. Yeah. And so I felt like I had all the space in the world.

[00:03:33] I was like, this feels so empty. I hear an echo, you know? Yeah. . And so my house was not really overwhelming to me, but I actually. Found you through a reel. You did about PM pickup. Yes. About cleaning up your kitchen. And what I was feeling is I don't have time to do anything for myself. Like the whole day is about the kids and the housework, and then they go to sleep.

[00:03:59] I, [00:04:00] you know, do a little bit of my work. I clean up the kitchen. I have some time to watch a show with my husband, but then I'm so tired. All I can do is scroll on social media and I'm not doing anything that I love to do. You know? Yeah. And so I was thinking maybe with the, the, your habits and systems, like maybe I just need to figure out how to be more productive.

[00:04:18] Like I remember writing in a Facebook mom's group, like, why does it take me 45 minutes to do the dishes every night? Like, what am I doing wrong? . Yeah. There's like so much time that I'm spending on these tasks and I would rather be. reading a book or doing a hobby of mine or something. So yes, I bought your course and I was like, okay, I'm just gonna go straight to the habit systems and routines because that's what I need.

[00:04:43] I don't have a lot of clutter, you know? Yes. . Yes. And so I opened up that, um, course and I said, make sure you do the decluttering course first. Yes. And I was like, Okay, well, I guess, you know, I don't think I'll find a lot. I guess I'll just follow what she says, . [00:05:00] And so I then went back to the decluttering course and after completing that, I realized that there was a lot of clutter and for me it was invisible because my house was so big and we really didn't have a lot.

[00:05:13] Like, yeah, there was no decor to get rid of. There was nothing on the walls, but like the, maybe. There's always a threshold for, you know, what you need, and anything ex above that is extra. And it does get in the way. And I realize that like, yeah, going through the course so. 

[00:05:29] Diana Rene: Yeah. Okay. That's really interesting.

[00:05:32] Um, so you were not really necessarily feeling overwhelmed in your home. It was more like a time constraint thing that you were feeling, but um, I can't tell you how many times that someone has joined the program and then they're like, or, or actually let me backtrack. Someone will DM me and will be like, can I just buy your HSR method course?

[00:05:53] Which is the habit systems and routines, cuz they're like, I'm totally like decluttered and everything, and I just need to [00:06:00] do the systems and routines. And I will say, yes, you can, you can go on my website and buy it, but I would like really, really, really highly encourage you to go through the decluttering part first.

[00:06:11] Um, and there's always resistance. And then they always come back and they're like, oh my gosh, how did I have like, so like, So much to donate and I had no idea. Like I thought I was doing fine. Um, and it almost always is people who are in bigger homes, or especially if they started in a smaller home or a smaller apartment and then moved into a bigger home.

[00:06:34] Because when we do have extra space, it's easier to just put things in more closets, right? Yeah, 

[00:06:41] Olivia: we had four walk-in closets. And even with the few amount of stuff in those closets, um, , you know, it just felt like there was so much space and it didn't seem cluttered, you know, just looking at it, it didn't seem cluttered.

[00:06:54] Diana Rene: Yeah, that is like a very common sentiment that I hear is like, I don't really think I need to [00:07:00] declutter. I just need to organize. That's, that's something I hear a lot. I just need to organize, which is like what I always thought I needed to do prior to decluttering, or I just need like a better systems in my home and then things will be fine.

[00:07:13] Um, and you saw that that was maybe not necessarily the case. Yes, 

[00:07:18] Olivia: and yeah, it was just I thought like I'm doing something wrong, like my productivity is. It's not good. It's something about me, . Yes. Something I need to, like, train myself to do housework faster or something. Yeah. Um, but yeah, it, there was a lot of things that we didn't need.

[00:07:37] Um, especially toys made the biggest difference. Okay. Um, because when I got rid of a lot of toys, I found my, my kids were able to play more independently, which I've heard you say. Yeah. They were, Um, yeah, they could entertain themselves for so much longer and they were also becoming more interested in the housework that I [00:08:00] was doing.

[00:08:01] Yes. So the less toys meant, like my world became more interesting. Yes. . And so , you know, now my one year old even helps me and love the dishwasher. Like she hands me utensils and things. And my three-year-old now wants to cook with me, and so I'm getting to do the house. With them. Mm-hmm. and I don't have to like entertain them on the side.

[00:08:21] So it's a win-win. There's less toys, but they're also more entertained somehow . Yeah, absolutely. 

[00:08:26] Diana Rene: And then that also allows you to like foster their interests. Right. Because, um, my oldest is nine and she like starting at age three. She really, really wanted to help me cook and bake, which I don't bake often cuz I don't like it and I'm not good at it

[00:08:43] Um, but like she'd wanna help me cook dinner and I would be. Um, prior to like decluttering and going through systems and routines, I would be like, I don't, like, I don't want her to help me because it's just gonna take longer. It's gonna be messier. Like there's even more stuff I have to [00:09:00] take care of than, um, and when we don't have that much on our plate, we're allowed to, or not allowed, but we're able to be a little bit more patient and intentional.

[00:09:11] Our kids and with what we're doing in our home. And so we had the space and the time and the energy for her to be able to help more. And now that's like now she can like grill steaks basically on her own in our backyard with my husband just like observing and making sure she's being safe, but like she can cook better than I can.

[00:09:31] And I don't think if I had that, Ability to like allow her to do that because I was so impatient before, because I was so overwhelmed with our home that I think I would've totally like squashed that interest in her. 

[00:09:47] Olivia: Yes. I feel that. Exactly. Yeah. And um, there's a book that I read that also helped me with the toy situation, Uhhuh , um, called Hunter-Gatherer Parent.

[00:09:58] Okay. And it follows [00:10:00] indigenous groups and how they parent and like how they've been parenting for thousands of years. Yeah. And one of the thing is like to encourage helpfulness in a child who wants to help around the house, or help cook or help clean. Take away the toys, take away the child-centered activities.

[00:10:17] Um, yeah. And it, and it will take longer, but you're actually, this is, this is played for them, you know? Yep. So that was helpful for me as well. 

[00:10:27] Diana Rene: Yep. Very cool. Um, so you got through the decluttering portion of the program in about three months, you said. Then did you move on to the H S R method after. 

[00:10:39] Olivia: Yes. Um, the most helpful one for me has been the pan pickup, which is why I came to you originally.

[00:10:45] Yeah. Um, and yeah, it, it was just so much easier once I cleared all my countertops to have a reset point. Yes. That every night the countertops can be clear and the dishes are put away, because before there was always something [00:11:00] lingering and some. Lingering from before, it was just hard to find the motivation to like keep it clear, but once it's clear, it's so much easier.

[00:11:08] You want it to be clear, right? Um, yeah, and I'm able to do dishes throughout the day now because I have more time. Yes. And so at night, it's not taking 45 minutes, it takes like five to 10 minutes to like get the kitchen completely clean. 

[00:11:24] Diana Rene: I love that. Awesome. Yeah, I think that's something that's really interesting when it comes to not only kitchens, but every, everywhere in our home.

[00:11:32] But let's use the kitchen as an example. Okay. So, um, if you like, let the dishes pile up for a couple of days and you're just like putting 'em in the sink and putting 'em on the counter next to the sink, and it's, you're like, okay, I need to do dishes. I need to do dishes. And then you put as much as you can into a dishwasher finally.

[00:11:48] But there's still like a stack of dirty dishes in the sink. We are so much more likely to walk into our kitchen and just put the dirty, extra dirty dishes in the sink if there's [00:12:00] already dirty dishes in there. But if we walk into our kitchen and the sink is totally cleared out and it's been cleaned, you are way less likely to just put the dirty dish in the sink, right?

[00:12:11] You're more likely to like actually put it in the dishwasher and keep that system going. Um, and so we kind of. We kind of trick our brains by doing this, by, by creating these systems, um, because we make it easier on ourselves, which help us to keep up with those systems. 

[00:12:31] Olivia: Yeah, and same thing that reminded me of like also countertops, like having a cleaned off wipe down countertop than like, My daughter spills a little bit of chocolate powder on it, then I just immediately wipe it up.

[00:12:42] Yeah. . Cause I wanted to stay clean, but if the countertops already dirty, I'm like, okay, I'll ha I'll deal with that later. You know, . 

[00:12:48] Diana Rene: Yeah. And it builds up, right? Like it's, it's like a constant building. Um, and then we just get to the point where we like can't take it anymore. And so we like rage clean. [00:13:00] That doesn't really do anything for our mood or or the system or actually getting the kitchen to a place where we want it to be.

[00:13:08] Um, is there any other system or routine that you have implemented in your home that has been helping? Um, 

[00:13:16] Olivia: another one recently that I just started doing was, In your laundry section of routines, you said that you didn't fold your kids' clothes. Yeah, . And when I originally read it, I was like, okay, that's, that's not really for me.

[00:13:31] I'll just leave that, you know? Um, Because my daughter has tons of princess dresses, and that's what she wears every day. And I had them hung in her closet and she would change so many times throughout the day. Since we're at home, she's always changing. Yeah. And my one year-old just recently started getting into princess dresses as well, so now I have two girls switching out princess dresses all the time.

[00:13:55] Uhhuh, . And I finally said, okay, I'm gonna put a basket in your [00:14:00] closet. All the clothes are going in this basket. They're all crumpled. I'm no longer hanging anything. I got, got rid of all the hangers and they're all in this basket, and it has made life so much easier, , because now when the clothes are on the floor, I just like, just put them in the basket and everything is cleaned up again.

[00:14:17] Right. I know 

[00:14:19] Diana Rene: sometimes I think we, like, we just make things so much harder on ourselves. Um, just for the sake of like what we've always done, like we've always, we've always done that. And I used to do that with my kids' clothes. I used to fold every single thing, like even like their underwear. I would like, you know, like smooth out and fold in half and like put in a pile.

[00:14:40] And then one day I was. I remember walking into my kids' room and like saw that like all these clothes that I had just folded and put in their drawers were like all over like on the floor, right? And like the drawers were open because they were like rummaging through them to find like a specific thing.

[00:14:57] And I was like, I just wasted like an hour of [00:15:00] my time folding these clothes. They don't care and they're gonna mess it up anyway, so I'm just gonna. Toss it in. So I kind of did it out of like frustration, but then I was like, oh, this , this actually is like, okay, like their clothes don't, like little leggings don't really get very wrinkly if they're tossed into a drawer.

[00:15:19] This is kind of life changing . 

[00:15:21] Olivia: And also I found there's actually a fewer outfit changes for me because it is harder for them to find what they want. . Oh really? . They'll just kinda give up like, and if they do dump out the whole basket. Throw it all back in. So yes, it's a much better system now. Yeah, that is 

[00:15:38] Diana Rene: so funny.

[00:15:39] Um, have you noticed anything, um, you, I know you said that your kids you've noticed with less toys are more interested in what you're doing, um, and that they're playing better. Is there anything else that your kids or your spouse have noticed with decluttering and with adding these systems? 

[00:15:58] Olivia: For my husband [00:16:00] in preparation for this podcast, I asked him like, I think, you know, she might ask me like, how has your husband been without this?

[00:16:07] Yeah, and I, and he was like, what? You've been decluttering I haven't noticed at all. And that was kind of a half. Half joke, but half true. Yeah. Yeah. Because, you know, um, , we have, we didn't have a lot of stuff, like I said, to begin with, so Yeah, he might not have noticed, but the state of my own mental health in the home has been very apparent.

[00:16:30] Like I feel like I'm much happier overall. Yes. I'm more able to, Yeah, give people the time they need from me. And he has noticed that we've been eating in a lot more because I have more time to cook. . Yeah. Um, so we are saving a lot of money that way, so he's noticed that. But yeah, previously even with my first daughter, I would.

[00:16:54] Just having one daughter, I would feel like I, like I said, I wasn't able to do what I wanted to do. Mm. And [00:17:00] because my husband was, because he didn't have to get up in the night and breastfeed, you know, he was being able to do his hobbies and everything, and I wasn't, and that led to some bitterness. Mm-hmm.

[00:17:10] um, yeah. But, but now after decluttering, like I can truly say I am doing what I want to do with my day. Like, I'm reading the books I want, you know, I'm baking. Bread . Yeah. And I can be more supportive now, like genuinely supportive of his, his activities. Like he's busy with work and he has tennis and he is going to school.

[00:17:32] And so before I can imagine I might have felt like, ah, where's the time for myself? But after decluttering, I do have that time and I, I am able to do what I want. So that's been amazing for us. 

[00:17:42] Diana Rene: Yeah. It takes away some of that resentment. Um, we experienced that also. Um, but also I think it took, um, a lot of like, just, just tension away because, um, it, it wasn't always like, oh, I'm doing all of this for the home.

[00:17:59] [00:18:00] What are you doing for the home? Like, it was, it was just, there was less. Stuff to do. , which overall helped everyone in the home. And, um, kind of like what you were saying too, is that like I became a happier and more patient mom, um, because I had these kids and I always have wanted kids. And then I, they're here and I'm like feeling like I'm always frustrated and I was like, um, a very, I was a very impatient mom prior to decluttering.

[00:18:28] And I feel like that kind of saved. Part of my motherhood. Um, and I don't think that that's uncommon. I think that that's pretty prevalent when we do simplify and when we let go of the excess because, um, it, it gives us energy. Right. It like it takes away that, that frustration. 

[00:18:49] Olivia: Yes. I really feel that, especially.

[00:18:53] Now that my one year-old takes one nap a day. Yeah. Before, during that nap, I would've been, you know, trying to [00:19:00] clean the house or do the dishes or try to like rapidly do everything I couldn't, quote, couldn't do while she was awake. Mm-hmm. . Um, but now like when my one year-old naps, I just relax on the couch with my three-year-old and we do nothing and we talk and we cuddle and yeah, I get to have that quality time with her.

[00:19:16] Whereas before I would've been unhappy and also, you know, not paying attention to my daughter. Yeah. Clean. 

[00:19:23] Diana Rene: Right. I love that. Um, I, we had a member in the program that DM me after she was done. Um, and she like sent me a picture of her TV in her family room with like the TV on. Um, and she's like, it's nap time and my kids have been napping for two hours and I've been sitting on the couch like watching Netflix and like eating snacks and she's.

[00:19:47] Um, this has been going, like, this is, I've been doing this for the last two weeks during nap time. And she was like, at first I felt like really guilty cuz I was like, before there was always something I had to be doing during nap time. And now she's [00:20:00] like, I look around and like the house is picked up.

[00:20:02] Like there's not really anything I have to do. Like, and so I let myself have this like two hour time period as like rest for me. Um, and she's like, and it's taking time for me to like, Be okay with that because I'm so conditioned to like always having something I have to be doing. Yeah, 

[00:20:21] Olivia: there's not that nagging feeling anymore of like, yes, things buying for your attention and what's next on the to-do list.

[00:20:28] It's like, okay, I can, I have the time to relax now, so I'm gonna relax . Great. 

[00:20:33] Diana Rene: Absolutely. Like what a concept. . Awesome. Well, Olivia, it was really, really great to have you on, um, for the podcast today. I'd just like to say before we get off, is there anything else you wanna say or do you feel like you've kind of covered what you want, really wanted to cover?

[00:20:50] Olivia: Um, yeah, I'm, that's pretty much all I wanted to say. Like I, yeah, I'll say that. Um, I started your program thinking, you know, it [00:21:00] would help me with this little slice of motherhood and it would help me fix, you know, my productivity problem or whatever. Yeah. And I realized after the program that it's really transformed.

[00:21:11] My whole view on motherhood, like it's something that's enjoyable. It's something I'm, I, there are overwhelming moments. Yeah. But I don't feel overwhelmed anymore. And so Thank you so much for Yeah. For your program. And, and the Facebook group has just been amazing cuz everyone has a different home and Yeah.

[00:21:33] To be able to search in there and see very specific, you know, problems has been helpful. Yeah. 

[00:21:40] Diana Rene: Well, you're welcome. But also thank you for trusting the process and opening HSR and being like, Nope, I have to do the decluttering first. Because, um, I think it would've been really easy for you to just be like, no, like I just need the systems, and start with the systems, and then it wouldn't have worked [00:22:00] probably as, as well, because you still would've had the excess going through.

[00:22:05] Thank you for trusting the process . 

[00:22:08] Olivia: Yes. And I actually had, I've been telling people about my decluttering process now because it's very exciting for me. Yeah. And I had, um, a mom over for a play date the other day, and I was showing her like all the things I had done and talking about, um, you know, , how great your program was, and just the feelings I had after.

[00:22:28] And she started with little things too, so it's exciting to, yeah, share it with others. So. Awesome. I'm glad I got to share it here too. . I love it. Well, 

[00:22:35] Diana Rene: thank you so much, Olivia. 

[00:22:37] Olivia: Yeah. Nice talking to you. You too. 

[00:22:40] Diana Rene: Thanks for hanging out and listening to the Decluttered Mom podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world if you could write a review or share this episode with a friend or your Instagram.

[00:22:52] And if you're on Instagram, be sure to follow me at the.decluttered.mom and send me a DM to say hi. I'd [00:23:00] love to hear what you thought about today's episode. I hope you'll come back next week and hang out with us again.