Episode 021: Reduce Holiday Stress

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Diana Rene - 00:00

Hey guys, I am so excited to be back. It has been too long. I didn't plan on going this long on this little break. But I have good reason we ended up moving recently in like late October and it wasn't it wasn't like totally sudden, but it was not completely planned either. And I forget how much work goes into number one packing number two, selling a house number three buying a house and then just the entire moving process.

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Also, like it's it's just it's so stressful. No matter how prepared you are, there's always going to be big stressful components to it. And then we also did some work on the new house that we bought prior to moving in. So while I was trying to pack and get our house ready to go to move out of I was also managing contractors at the new house for the work that we were having done. Plus, you know, all of the things, just all of the things, kids getting sick, all of the things. So now that we are finally like settling in things that are kind of sad, kind of settling down, we are mostly unpacked, I am so excited to get back to the podcast because especially this week, I know if you celebrate Christmas, it is Christmas week. And that while magical. For many people, it can also feel so overwhelming and stressful, especially for moms because I think moms have an unfair amount of things that they have to do to be able to make Christmas feel magical for everyone else involved, right? Especially their kids. So I am really excited to talk to you this week. Of course, this is going to be a shorter episode, like all of them because you are busy. You are extra extra busy this week. You're listening to the declutter and mom podcast, a podcast built specifically for busy moms by a busy mom, I'm your host, Diana, Renee. And in 2017, I had my second daughter and it felt like I was literally drowning in my home. Okay, not literally, but I felt like I couldn't breathe with all of the stuff surrounding me. Over the next 10 months, I got rid of approximately 70% of our household belongings. And I have never looked back. I kind of feel like I hacked the mom system. And I'm here to share all the tips, tricks and encouragement. Let's listen to today's show. So I want to talk a little bit about seasons and the season of life that you might be in right now. And how your holidays can kind of look different as you go through different seasons. A great example of this is if you are in a season of change, for me, like I am still in this season of change. Even though we have been in this new house for a little over a month now. It still feels like we aren't totally settled, I'm still trying to figure out where everything goes or where I want things. Or maybe I put something somewhere. And I thought it was going to be a good spot. And now after being here for a month and realizing okay, maybe this isn't the best setup. And I'm still unpacking some things and there are still unfurnished rooms. And so we are still in that season of change. And if you are in a season of change, maybe you recently moved or maybe you're getting ready to move, or maybe you just had a baby, or there are like 20,000 oars I could list for you right like there are so many things that could put you into that feeling of a season of change. I want to be the one to tell you that you have permission to do less this holiday season. I know Christmas is in just a few short days, you do not have to do it all and everything is going to be okay. If you don't do it all I want to give you that permission. You don't need my permission, but sometimes we just need to hear from someone else. That it's okay to not do it all. And even if you are not in a season of change right now. You still have permission not to do at all you have permission to let things go. I think that we are fed this idea that I mean we are fed this year round but especially at the holidays, we are fed this idea that we have to do so many things to make it magical and to make it special and to make it feel like the holidays. So you have to go to X amount of events and you have to sign your kids up To be able to go do all these things that are holiday theme related, and you have to bake 10 dozen cookies, and they all have to be different kinds. And you have to do neighbor gifts, and you have to do crafts with your kids. And you have to build a gingerbread house and you have to build a snowman outside and drink hot cocoa that is Christmas themed after and like, right, like, no wonder we are exhausted. Because you know what doesn't stop when it's the holidays, life, all of the other mom duties that you already have all of the duties as a human, as a mom, as someone who maybe has a job. So as an employee, or as a business owner, or as a stay at home mom, there are already so much are so many things on your plate. And the holidays, we're just adding on to it. We're just taking your already overflowing plate. And we're just checking things on. And I think sometimes that for me, I love Christmas. I've just I've always loved Christmas, I've always had a good experience with Christmas. And so it's been my favorite holiday for as long as I can remember. So for me, a lot of holiday things make me happy. So even if I already have a lot going on in my normal mom life, doing the Holiday things make me happy and seeing my kids faces through the holiday things make me happy. But let me tell you when my oldest was three, and my youngest was almost one, she was like 11 and a half, or 11 and three quarters. She was like a week away from being mine. Okay, so this half of this podcast is just going to be me trying to figure out how old my kids were when I was telling this story. So when they were those ages, I remember trying to make Christmas like extra extra extra special special that year. And so I signed us up for all the things I bought all the tickets for all the events like, basically from the last from Thanksgiving until New Year's, we had like two to three events every single weekend that were like holiday themed, we had Disney on Ice, we had zoo lights, we had some magical parade thing, we had some light show we had, like we just had all of these things. Because my idea was I want to make this so so magical. And I'm really excited. And it was the first year or almost not even a full year. But it was the first time in my life that I had a decluttered home because it was when my youngest was like three months old that I really began that process. And so I felt like I had more capacity to be able to do it right. So I was like I have more breathing room, I have more energy, I think I'm just going to go all out. And I remember telling my husband, I was going to go all out. And not only that, that was the year I decided that I was going to like do special wrapping and so I was going to like watch YouTube videos on really pretty ribbon curls. And I was going to do like these custom wrapping. Like it was like I wanted I decided I was going to do all of these different special cookie recipes that I had never done before. And I am not a baker, I am not like I don't enjoy being in the kitchen. So that was terrible for me. Because even like taking the premade cookie dough and putting it on a sheet and putting it in the oven is like not fun for me and feels like feels like a lot of work. And so the idea of like doing all these really in depth, fancy cooking cookie things. I was like, This is terrible. And I hate it. And I don't want to ever do this again. And so what I learned through that season is that I was a ball of stress. And I was like annoyed or irritated almost every day because there was something I had planned for that day that I either didn't want to do in the first place. But I thought it would be magical or I thought it was something that I had to do. Or it just was too much. So even if there were things I enjoyed doing, like we love, we go to Zoo lights at the Denver Zoo every year. And that's a tradition I really, really love. And it's like low maintenance. It's it doesn't take a lot of energy to do especially as the kids are getting older. But if I was doing zoo lights on Friday night and then Saturday night, we had some parade and then Sunday we were baking cookies and we were going somewhere else. But it was it was just too much, too there can be too much of a good thing right so it was too much.

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So what I learned that year was to drastically reduce like, may I suggest As declutter our holiday season, and the following year is when I really was like, I only want to do things that really like we all really love doing that create the maximum amount of joy and holiday spirit with the least amount of effort and energy and time, which it's not lazy. It's just smart, right? So we and I decided from that point on, I was I just wasn't going to pretend to be this holiday Baker anymore, I wasn't going to pretend to enjoy all of this cooking and baking. And we were going to do the sugar cookies that I can buy the cookie dough and put it on the cookie sheet. And then I'm going to buy all these fun sprinkles. And the girls will have just as much if not more fun, just decorating these, these sugar cookies that took 20 minutes to bake in took two minutes of prep time. They're gonna have more fun and more magical holiday time doing that versus watching mom be frustrated through this really like complex cookie recipe. Then another example is the following year for wrapping paper, I ditched the ribbons because I found that it was really difficult. And I didn't enjoy it. And it wasn't something that really added anything like my kids could not care less if I had a fancy ribbon or if I had a stick on ribbon or no ribbon at all. So I got rid of all of that. I got rid of the custom like wrapping paper that was like so pretty. And I just went to Target and got wrapping paper and wrapped the presents. I also got help. So this is another thing I think that we in all aspects of mom life tend to take things on because we they either think that we are the ones that are supposed to be doing it or we are told that we're the ones that they're supposed to be doing it or it's just how it's always been, maybe it's been modeled for you, maybe you just like became a mom and started doing all these things from the get go. And so it's just kind of like always happen that way. But I started delegating a lot more than next year. Also, I asked for help. I asked my husband to take more on his plate with buying gifts and wrapping presents for the kids with me or by himself and other time. Like, I looked at what I had to do each holiday season and I said what what what are the things that I have to do that like have to be done by me, which wasn't very many things? And what other things? Can I sit down with my spouse and say, hey, what can you take off my plate, because this is your holiday season also, right. And so working with our partner or working with the people in our lives that are are wanting to help or maybe not wanting to help, but you are asking them to help can really greatly reduce the time and energy on your plate. Also. And I know I know Christmas is in a few days. So it might feel like this year is just it's overwhelming. But it is what it is. And you gotta power through and I've been there and I get it. And that's totally fine. But maybe just keep these things in mind moving forward. And while it's fresh in your memory, after Christmas Day, sit down and write down all the things you did. And then write down all the things that well take all so take all the things that you did, right? Make a massive list, do a great brain release, get everything out and think, Okay, from the beginning of the holiday season, through today, Christmas day or the day after, what did I do to make Christmas happen. And that could be all the fun events and things like that, you know, but it can also be like, in the weeds stuff. Like I had to go grocery shopping three times at three different stores to find the correct ingredients so that we could make the appetizers that are a tradition for our family. Right. So like, write down everything you did, then go through that list and strike out the things that were stressful for you or your family or your or nobody really enjoyed it. Or it was a lot of work for a very little amount of Christmas spirit. Like go through the things that maybe maybe you won't repeat next year. And you know, you can always change your mind next year. But we're looking for things that you can take off of your plate for future holiday seasons. Then go through the list and decide what are some things I can delegate next year. What are some things I can ask for more help with? What are the things that were really time consuming and what were what are the things that were not very time consuming and so on. work on that, go through that list, have that ready. So then when you go into next year, set a reminder on your phone for November 15 of next year, to sit down with spouse and go over how the division of responsibility is going to happen for that holiday season or maybe even earlier in the year, if you want to do it before things start to like ramp up for the season. And sit down at whatever time that is that you decide ahead of time and go through that with them. Go through again with yourself and reevaluate. What are the things we want to do so for me, I know I do not want more than one event a week, like, I am an introvert. My whole family is more introverted than extroverted. We enjoy being home. So what is like? What are the events that I we have to do, like we really, really want to do that are important to us that are important to our traditions? And then how can I spread those out over the holiday season so that I'm not doing more than one event? A week? And then what are the traditions that we want to keep up? What are the things that we want to keep doing? And what are the things maybe that we tried, or we did it just because we've always done it, but like, they're not really serving us anymore. And they're not really like, they don't feel as fun as like some of the other things that we do that we do on a keep. So sit with that and figure out what you really want to do moving forward, because then you're going to help set yourself up for next holiday season, and go into it with a less like overwhelmed feeling. One last thing I want to talk about is your holiday decor. So again, Christmas is in a few days. But when you are getting pet like when you're done, I don't know when you're gonna put your tree down or take your tree down or put all your stuff away. I know this is like a hot topic. And should you do it right away? Or should you wait until after the new year or whatever. But when you do, when you do take things down. I want you to look at the bins where you started your holiday decor. And look at the things that are still sitting there that you chose not to put out this year. And really, really push yourself to think is this wasn't good enough for me to put out this year. During the one time it's meant for you know, it's like a Santa figurine. And this year, you were like, I don't really know if I want to put that out. You're not going to put it out for like Valentine's Day. It's not like a multipurpose thing, right? So if it's not good enough to put out during the one time a year it's meant for do you need to keep it? Do you need to let it take up space in your garage or your basement or your attic or wherever for you to again next year, say I don't know if I want to put this out. So sit with that and think about it. And because this is a easy way to declutter all of your holiday decorations as you are going through it. Another thing did you put something out that you just didn't really love? One year I had these like Christmas tree like decorations that I had up on her mantle that were beautiful. They were so beautiful. And I really liked looking at them. But they had so much glitter that would flake off and those like nobody had to touch it. They just flaked all the time. And then we would have our fireplace like this is in this was a long time. This isn't like two houses ago, we had this electronic or electric fireplace and like the heat would like the fan thing would go on. And like the glitter would blow around. And like it drove me mad. Like it's frustrating me so much. So no matter how beautiful they were, I was like no this, these are not, these are not going back out next year. So I can either choose to put them in the bin and delay that decision for like seven more years while they live in that bin or I can make the decision now to let go and maybe let someone else who doesn't care if glitter is flying around, decorate their home with it. So that's just kind of an added thing that I wanted you to think about as you're going into the season. I'm so excited. You're here. I'm so excited you're here. As we go into the new year, I

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want to let you know that we have our biggest decluttering challenge of the year. On January 1, we only do two challenges each year and our January one is the biggest. It is super impactful the progress that people make you guys it's insane. So please join us. It's five days it's totally free to you. It's a lot of fun. And it is going it's like decluttering is like on your list of new yours resolutions are, you're just ready, you're like at the point where you, you're done, you're done with the clutter, you want to figure out how to make this simplifying process happen with not a lot of headache or energy or time, then I'm your girl. And January 1 through January 5 is our free five day decluttering challenge, you can find the link in the show notes, you can also find it on my Instagram, because we are currently registering for it. So be sure to register because that is the only way that you're going to get the workbook and all the information. We keep it really, really simple. Because again, you guys, you're busy moms, I get it. I'm a busy mom, too. We don't want to take up like four hours of your time every day, for the first week of the new year. That's not our goal, we want to give you quick, simple, actionable tasks, that takes 15 minutes or less each day, that make a big impact. So we want to we want to take like, the shortest amount of time that we can out of your day. But make a really big like that pack a big punch, right that make a big impact in the momentum and the feeling you feel in your home and your progress towards a decluttered home like a completely decluttered home right we want to work towards that we want to build that momentum. So we have fine tuned to this challenge over the years and the feedback we get every single time. It just blows us away because people make so much progress. So join us again you can find the registration in the show notes or on my Instagram in the bio you can always DM me for also if you don't see it in my bio, but join us I'm really excited and I hope this holiday episode was helpful for you and I will see you next week. Thanks for hanging out and listening to the decluttered mom podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world if you could write a review or share this episode with a friend or your Instagram stories. And if you're on Instagram, be sure to follow me at the dot declutter dot mom and send me a DM to say hi, I'd love to hear what you thought about today's episode. I hope you'll come back next week and hang out with us again