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[00:00:00] Welcome to another episode of the Decluttered Mom Podcast. The next three episodes are a series that we are doing that I am excited about because I get asked about this you guys all the time, and I know like I'm not making that up. Like I legit get questions in my dms almost every single day about.

[00:00:26] How I knew I had a D H D as an adult and how that has affected me in my home with decluttering, with simplifying, with home management, with being able to carry through with tasks and systems and routines and all of the above, right? But, I wanted to do just like this little bit of a series about my journey and I actually did uh, two Instagram lives, I think it was last summer or last fall where I just kind of went through my [00:01:00] whole story and we thought that it would be a good idea to take those and.

[00:01:05] Edit them and put them onto a three part series. Here. The reason we wanted to do that is we wanted to make it more accessible to you. I know it can. Instagram watching, um, a long live can be really frustrating because if your app closes out or we all know how glitchy it can be, it can be really frustrating to watch a longer live.

[00:01:25] And also, a lot of times you listen to this podcast. When you're driving or you're on your commute or you're on a walk or whatever, and it's easier to just listen versus watching something on your phone, and so we wanted to make it more accessible to you. And we thought this would be a really good place so that anytime I get these questions too, I can give you the link.

[00:01:47] I can point you here, and it just seemed like a no-brainer.

[00:01:55] You're listening to the Decluttered Mom Podcast. A podcast built [00:02:00] specifically for busy moms. Bye. A busy mom. I'm your host, Diana Renee, and in 2017 I had my second daughter and it felt like I was literally drowning in my home. Okay? Not literally, but I felt like I couldn't breathe with all of the stuff surrounding me.

[00:02:17] Over the next 10 months, I got rid of approximately 70% of our household belongings. And I have never looked back. I kind of feel like I hacked the mom system and I'm here to share all the tips, tricks, and encouragement. Let's listen to today's show. I wanted to come on before you're listening to this first part just because it was, uh, an Instagram live done in my car.

[00:02:47] So the audio is a little bit different. I probably go off on some tangents based on comments I was getting or things I was seeing while I was in the car, and so I just wanted to kinda give you that heads up so you have a little bit [00:03:00] more context on like what in the world is happening. I think I say this on the live, but I just want to be sure I, that I say it here and I am ultra, ultra clear that none, none of what I say on this live, uh, is any indication that you should believe that you have a D h D or you don't have a d h d.

[00:03:22] It is not meant or intended to diagnose anyone or even give you that idea. It is simply me sharing my journey. Um, being diagnosed with A D H D at almost 30, gosh. When was I diagnosed? Okay, I just turned 39, so that's really throwing me. So 37. It was like right before my 38th birthday. So just, this is not medical advice, this is not any information intended to diagnose, um, or give you ideas for treatment or anything like that.

[00:03:56] This is simply my journey [00:04:00] and kind of how I came to. To the realization that I may have this and how I went through the diagnosis process and how it has affected me in my life and in my home, and in my simplifying journey. So with all of that being said, I wanted to play for you. The first part of this three part series of my A D H D journey.

[00:04:32] Hey, everyone. Okay. The suns are back on because it got sunny out, so I'm gonna have to wear 'em. Um, so I was just saying on stories that I wanted to do alive today to talk about like my whole A D H D journey, and not only like the symptoms and signs and diagnosis and all of that, but how decluttering and systems and [00:05:00] routines.

[00:05:01] Have really, really helped me with all of that. So I will start this off with just kind of like a disclaimer or an explanation that with D H D, something I have learned with A D H D is that the symptoms of it. Are so wide ranging and the severity of it is also very wide ranging. So like sometimes if you're listening to somebody explaining a D H D symptoms, you might be like, oh, well, like I do that too.

[00:05:35] Or, or like, I feel that way too because I think every, or not every, but most things with ADHD are like, Very common things that people do when they are stressed or tired or whatever. Um, but it's more of like a, is this a pattern? Is this something that has been going on for years or decades? Is it in combination with other things that are going [00:06:00] on?

[00:06:00] Um, so it's not like, There's just like one thing that you're like, oh, I do that too, so I must have a D H D, or I must not have a D H D because I don't do that. Like, oh, that thing. No, I don't do that. So I must not have, so like both ways, right? Um, I think that it can change and fluctuate throughout your life and, um, Some people can just have really severe symptoms that like really deeply, greatly impact their ability to function on a daily basis.

[00:06:36] And other people go through their entire lives and don't even realize that they have a D H D because the symptoms are so mild. So just keep that in mind as I'm going through all of this. So, Okay. I have dealt with depression since I was 14 years old. I've dealt with anxiety since I was 17 years old.

[00:06:59] I've [00:07:00] always dealt with like self-image issues and like deep. Shame and like just who I am as a person, which we are just like jumping in. We are getting into this right off the bat. PS it is so cool outside today it's 58 degrees and I'm so excited because it's been a hundred degrees all week and it's supposed to be like this today and tomorrow.

[00:07:24] And I just love it because it's gonna be hot again next week. So I am appreciating, I'm appreciating this weather. Where was I? Okay, so I have always had like some type of mental health thing. Not always, but like. The depression started at age. It was like 13, 14 is when it got really bad for the first time.

[00:07:48] 17 again is when the anxiety really kicked in. I haven't really dealt with depression in, in quite a long time, like honestly, probably in like a decade, so like [00:08:00] 10 years. Anxiety is a, is a constant battle, but it's like a, I can deal with it. I cannot deal with it for like three months and be like, totally cool, and then like, it's like a roller coaster.

[00:08:12] Like, I can be good, I can be good, I can be good. And then it's like, ooh, things are tough. Things are really anxious for a, a month or two months or three months, and then it goes back up. So it's like, it's, it's a roller coaster and it's a cycle. But what I have learned is that, A D H D is like severely, severely undiagnosed and misdiagnosed in women because I don't know about you, but I grew up in the eighties and like to me, a d D and a D H D were like, were was only reserved for the boys in school that were like getting in trouble and like bouncing off the walls just.

[00:08:54] Like really energetic and like had a hard time controlling themselves. [00:09:00] That is what. People who were diagnosed with a D D or A D H D were right? Like if you grew up in the eighties or nineties, like you probably can relate to that. Like girls were not girls worse, were also diagnosed, but at like a greatly lower level than boys.

[00:09:19] And there are several types of a d h, adhd. There's inattentive, there is, um, hyperactive, and then there's like combination. So like both inattentive and hyperactive. And girls tend to struggle more with the in inattentive type, whereas boys tend to struggle more with a hyperactive type or combination on both.

[00:09:43] So for me, I primarily have inattentive type with a teeny bit of hyperactivity, but not very much. So like mostly inattentive, technically combination, but mostly inattentive. And so, Most [00:10:00] of the time in like the eighties and nineties and early two thousands, and even now to a point, girls are just not being diagnosed.

[00:10:07] I think it's caught up a lot and girls are starting to be diagnosed at earlier ages with inattentive because it just looks like flakiness daydreaming. Like too talkative, like things that like people associate with girls who are being lazy or, um, too social or things like that. Right. So as a child, like now looking back at it, my mom and I were like, Oh, oh, this makes sense because I did great in elementary school until like, until like late elementary school, so like fourth, fifth grade I really started to struggle with school.

[00:10:48] Like every time that my. Parents had like parent-teacher conferences. It was like the same thing. She's day, she's daydreaming, she has a hard time staying on task. Uh, [00:11:00] she's very smart if she would only apply herself. Like that was like the thing. And I like, I remember in middle school and high school, hearing that from teachers all the time.

[00:11:11] Diana, if you would just apply yourself. You would be doing really big things in school and you could be going to a really good college and you would be getting great grades and all of this. And for me, like I didn't understand, like it was like I could sit there. Okay. I and you guys, the, I'm just warning you, this is, we're gonna go on lots of tangents here.

[00:11:37] I was really, really good at, uh, like writing. And create like creative writing. I love to read my favorite class in high school. My favorite classes were journalism and photography. Like I was very into being creative and being able to like use my mind [00:12:00] in that, in that way. But like science and math, you guys?

[00:12:04] Mm-hmm. Like if there were, like, there was specific instructions and you had to do A, B, C. To get to the end, to get to the answer. I couldn't do it. I could not do it like I could. My brain could not figure it out. And I think now looking back, I realize that it's like I have a really hard time following.

[00:12:30] Multiple step directions, and that's what math and science can be, right? So like I failed math. I failed math so many times that in college we had to have, okay, so you know how like in college you have to have like specific credits. Like you have to have, uh, three math credits and you have to have three language art, like whatever.

[00:12:52] Um, At my college, I went to Central Michigan at my college you had to, there was like three different [00:13:00] qualifiers, I guess for your math component to just get a degree and it was the easiest one was called elementary algebra. Not kidding. That was the name of class and I took it six times. In college over four years.

[00:13:19] Um, like I took it my freshman year cause I was like, I just wanna get it out of the way. I wanna be done with it. It was one semester, it was a three credit class and I failed. And so I took it again and I failed. And I'm not kidding, I took it six times. So at the end of college, at the end, I went for five years because I transferred my freshman year and lost a lot of credits.

[00:13:39] So I was in college for five years at the end of college. Um, I was set to graduate in May. And I had this one math. Three credit class that I had to pass before I could get my degree. So the registrar's office was like, listen, um, [00:14:00] you can't walk in May because you still have this one class. Um, you can walk in August.

[00:14:06] And I was like, oh man. So all my friends graduated. They like moved on. Um, and I had to go to summer school for this one class at Central and it was, I'm not kidding, it was me. And like 25 football players for Central who had to pass it in order to play football in the fall. So it's me and 25 football players and they like, I mean, it was college, like these guys were just giving me a hard time and it was a five week class from 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM.

[00:14:45] Um, because it was like so condensed time-wise. We were there, it was like a workday. So I was there with these guys and I think the professor honestly just felt bad for me that I was the only girl with all these guys who like, just like messed with me the whole time [00:15:00] that, that I think he just passed me.

[00:15:02] He knew that if I didn't pass, I wouldn't get my degree, so he just passed me. I don't think I really, I don't think I deserved pass, but, okay, so math, like, I didn't. Math wasn't, it wasn't registering. So I always heard like, Diana, you're, you're really smart, but um, you have to learn to apply yourself. You have to learn discipline.

[00:15:21] You have to learn organization. You have to learn organization. I was always losing my homework. I was always forgetting my homework. I was always. Whatever. Okay. My locker was a mess. Um, my room at home was a mess. Everything was a mess. I was super disorganized. I was super messy my entire life, so, okay. I took notes because I knew I would forget where I was gonna go with everything, and I wanted to remember everything.

[00:15:46] So, the biggest things for me is that I have always just been really easily distracted, very easily distracted, and. Forgetful, [00:16:00] like those are probably the two biggest things with me. And it got worse as I got older. It got worse after I had kids. And I have noticed, like I'm almost 40, so I think I'm like starting to head into like perimenopause and like I have noticed my symptoms are worse with hormonal fluctuations.

[00:16:20] So like when I'm, this might be tmi, but like when I'm ovulating or like starting a cycle, my symptoms are always worse. Always like I am way more forgetful, I'm way more easily distracted and everything like that. So in 2020, like Covid happened and everyone was home for those first two weeks. And I downloaded TikTok because some friends started sending me TikTok videos and I was like, what is this thing?

[00:16:49] So I downloaded it and then I started watching TikTok. And you guys, the TikTok algorithm is very good. It is very like, I'm always impressed with that algorithm [00:17:00] more so than any other social media app. Like it's very good and accurate and it quickly picked up on things with me that I was searching and things like that.

[00:17:09] So there was one day where a video on my for you page on TikTok scrolled up and it was about inattentive, A D H D in women specifically. And I was like, Holy crap. Like I watched it like 10 times in a row because I was like, Hmm, like this is interesting. And I will say that when I was in college, there was a point where my anxiety was like really bad, like borderline agoraphobic, where I was like scared to leave my apartment and like there like this, it was when I was a senior and my sister was a freshman.

[00:17:48] And I remember she would have to sometimes come walk from her dorm to my apartment and like, walk me to class and like sit outside my class while I was in there and then [00:18:00] walk me back and like, uh, I just had like, it was a really low point. It was maybe like a two month period where my anxiety was really, really, really bad.

[00:18:09] And I went to a new therapist in college and she, I remember her now saying, have you ever been evaluated for A D H D? Or Have you ever been diagnosed for A D H D? And I was like, what? Like, no, like, that's dumb. And like, we moved on and she didn't really bring it up again. And then I started, uh, seeing a therapist again in 2020 who I'm still seeing, and I love her, but she brought it up also.

[00:18:37] She was like, Diana, like, have you ever been diagnosed with h d? And I'm like, No, but I had another therapist ask me that in college and I just kind of brushed it off and, um, she, uh, my current therapist worked in schools for a long time, so she was like a school therapist, so she was like explaining how it is really [00:19:00] like undiagnosed or underdiagnosed I guess, in girls and women.

[00:19:04] And like, she's like, she's like, I see things in you that would make me believe that. That it, that an evaluation wouldn't hurt basically, is what she said. And so I again, just kind of blew it off. But then like a month later I saw that, that TikTok and I was like, okay. That's weird. That does sound like me.

[00:19:26] And I always just thought of a D H D as like really hyper boys. Okay. So I saw that TikTok and I like started researching it, and there's a podcast that I listened to for a while that I'm, I forgot the name. I'll try to remember and put it in the comments when I repost this. But this. Podcast had like a download that, like a free download that had like a Quest, like a eight page questionnaire.

[00:19:53] And I went through it and I like you guys when I went through it, I was like, okay, this [00:20:00] is like really scary number one, but it's also like really a fur maybe is the right word. Um, because like. My entire life I have just felt stupid. Like I have felt lazy and dumb, and a lot of that is like self-inflicted.

[00:20:21] But a lot of that is like from teachers and like I. People in my life that were trying to help me and like were trying to encourage me and motivate me, but didn't know that I had this like underlying thing. Thanks for hanging out and listening to the Decluttered Mom podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world if you could write a review or share this episode with a friend or your Instagram stories.

[00:20:49] And if you're on Instagram, be sure to follow [email protected] and send me a DM to say hi. I'd love to hear what you thought about today's [00:21:00] episode. I hope you'll come back next week and hang out with us again.