This transcription was automatically generated

[00:00:00] Diana Rene: Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Decluttered Mom podcast. Today we are diving into part two of my ADHD journey. If you missed part one, you wanna go back and listen to last week's episode where I begin this series. But I wanted to let you know, uh, that this is a Instagram Live that was recorded last year.

[00:00:23] And so just to give you some context, if. The dates are confusing or if I sound funny cause I'm sitting in my car. Um, all of the above. It's just, it. These are being pulled from an Instagram live so that we have them for easy access to be able to point people to, because I get questions all the time about my ADHD, how I had knew I had it, uh, how does that affect me in my home and systems and routines and all of the above.

[00:00:53] I did this in the first episode two, but I just wanna be ultra clear that this is not intended to [00:01:00] diagnose or treat anybody. This is not medical opinion. This is just my personal experience with A D H D and how it has affected me and my life and my decluttering journey. So, Without further ado, let's hop into part two.

[00:01:20] You're listening to the Decluttered Mom Podcast. A podcast built specifically for busy moms by a busy mom. I'm your host, Diana Renee, and in 2017 I had my second daughter and it felt like I was literally drowning in my home. Okay. Not literally, but I felt like I couldn't breathe with all of the stuff surrounding me over the next 10 months.

[00:01:44] I got rid of approximately 70% of our household belongings, and I have never looked back. I kind of feel like I hacked the mom system and I am here to share all the tips, tricks, and encouragement. Let's [00:02:00] listen to today's show. I did all this research and I was like, okay, I am pretty convinced that, that this is me also.

[00:02:12] But then I just, I hesitated getting diagnosed honestly, because I thought that if I was diagnosed that I would have to take medication. And I am like, I'm just weird with medication, you guys. I get, um, I get side effects. I get like, I get anxiety about medication. I get a lot of side effects from medication, but.

[00:02:37] So I just like hesitated because I was worried that like if I had a diagnosis, I would just automatically have to take medication. And now I know that that's silly and like I'm not, I'm not currently on medication. I have it prescribed to me in case I decide I want to try it, which I may at some point, but I now know that like you, that's not the only thing that you [00:03:00] can do.

[00:03:00] Olivia, adhd. So I'm just talking about like everything with, with how that. Happened with me. So some of the things, just a few of the things that, like it shows up for me, um, as like it, or how it, like it manifests for me as an adult woman is like, I'm just very easily distracted and I'm forgetful. So like I lose my wallet all the time.

[00:03:21] Like I just had a police officer come, come to my house last month because someone turned in my wallet. Uh, from a parking lot. I lost my wallet yesterday. I left it at Starbucks. Like, I just, I set things down and I just forget 'em. I, I just forget 'em. Um, I forget to like close things. Like I, if you walk into my kitchen, I can guarantee you that there are at least two cabinets open right now.

[00:03:46] Um, I left the, what's it, I don't, I don't think it's called a trunk in an s u V. What is that called? Hatch? Whatever it is. Um, I left that open yesterday, like I got home and I got my groceries out and I brought [00:04:00] 'em inside and I got sidetracked and then I just left that open for three hours in my driveway.

[00:04:05] Um, so like, just things like that. Um, I can. Easily start things like starting a new project or something like that typically isn't very hard for me. Finishing a project is very hard for me. Caveat though, if I'm interested in it, so like if it's something for work, if it's something for you guys and I think of a new idea or a new project, I'm like, let's go.

[00:04:30] I'm all in, and I just start. If it's something that I'm not interested in, then. Like doing paperwork for insurance, then I have a really hard time starting, but I just have a hard time, um, going from A to Z in anything, no matter how interested in I am, I thrive under pressure and deadline. So like in college, [00:05:00] say in college, I like, I would get a.

[00:05:03] Paper or an assignment where I would have to write a paper and it'd be like, this must be a 15 page paper and blah, blah, blah, blah. Here are the things you have to do. You have to turn in, or you don't have to have an outline, you have to do the research, you have to blah, blah, blah. Like all the steps, right?

[00:05:19] And like I would see my classmates and and roommates like schedule that out and be like, okay, I'm gonna do the outline by Friday and I'm gonna do the research by. The following Wednesday and like so and so, and then they'd be done, like, they would finish the paper like a week early. Like me, I like just wouldn't even start until like if it was a 10:00 AM class, I would start like the night before at like 1130 and I would go to the library and like I would do all of those steps in like four hours in the middle of the night.

[00:05:55] And I, and, and that's just like, that was the only way that I could like, get things [00:06:00] done. Like the idea of scheduling things out or like doing things slowly or, or doing them early was like, so foreign to me. And, and I would try, every semester I would try and I would try to schedule 'em out and I would end up.

[00:06:14] Sure enough, like the night before drinking Red Bull and Mountain Dew and just staying up all night long and pulling it all nighter and just getting it done. So that's another thing, like I, with the easily distracted thing, I have walked my mom through this because she's like, walk me through, cuz like I'll try to explain something to her.

[00:06:35] And so she's like, walk me through this. So I will do that with you all. So, so say I am at home, right? And I'm like, okay. I really need to do, I need to put in a load of laundry. So I'll get up and I'll go to put in that load of laundry. And when I open the doors to the laundry closet, I see that like the trash bin thing in there is like starting to get full.

[00:06:58] So I'm like, oh, I need [00:07:00] to empty that. So I then go and empty that. And when I go into the bathroom, I empty that and I notice that. The cabinet door is still open because I left it open. So I will go to close that, and when I go to close that, I see that my contacts might be getting a little bit low. So then I sit down and I look and I count how many contacts there are, and I go on my phone to reorder the contacts.

[00:07:25] And I get to the final page and I can't remember my credit card number, so I go downstairs to get my credit card. Meanwhile, like the, the contacts are sitting on the floor still. I go down to get my credit card and I'm like, oh shoot. I. Did I, where is my credit card number one? Like where did I leave my wallet?

[00:07:45] So then I checked the several places that I might have left my wallet. And then like, that's the ongoing thing where it's like, um, I can start things but I get easily distracted. Um, and, and then it's like a [00:08:00] cycle. And Carrie said, I thought everyone did this. And that's exactly why I gave the disclaimer at the beginning where, um, A D H D symptoms tend to be things that anyone might do, but it's how frequently it happens.

[00:08:14] And then combined with other things that go on like that. Um, some other things are just like I. Really high, like re or not really high, really low, like sensory tolerance. Um, like even like as a kid, we would go like, you know, in the eighties and nineties, like the going to the mall was like a fun thing.

[00:08:37] And like you would go whatever. I hated it. I hated it. Hated it, hated it. I liked the idea of going and like, Being with friends or like being with my mom and sister, like having fun. Like, aren't you supposed to do that? Like, aren't girls supposed to have fun like going shopping and like, yay. So I would go and like within 30 minutes I would be so drained that like I couldn't [00:09:00] function.

[00:09:00] Like my mom knew that if we needed to get something at the mall, we would have to. We would have to go in and get it done within 20 minutes, or she would lose me. Like I would have to go to the, like go sit on a bench for an hour while they finish. Like it just was, and I never knew why. And now I know it's like the cen, it was just sensory overload, like the fluorescent lights and the loud noise and the people talking and music and every single store that you walk by and the strong smells from the candle stores and the body shops and like, it was just, it was.

[00:09:34] Over sensory overload. And I shut down after a while and I see that now in like motherhood where it's like the TV is going in one room and then like the Alexa is playing music in this room and it's really loud and like one child is trying to talk to me. Um, then my husband's trying to talk like it's like, That sensory thing where it's like, when that's going on, it's like I [00:10:00] can't function or hear anything.

[00:10:02] And it's like I can like physically feel my body like closing up. But what's funny, maybe not funny, but uh, weird I guess is that like in my mind, like I constantly have several things going on. Like I have a song playing, but I'm also thinking about a conversation and I'm also worrying if. That friend might be mad at me right now and like it's like I have like eight conversations or like things playing in my head and maybe that's why I get so like overwhelmed when that then exterior sensory is also at play.

[00:10:40] I don't know. So that's something else. Like it's very common for women with a D H D to also have like, uh, like rejection sensitivity, I think it's called like rejection sensitivity dysphoria or something where like, I. You basically feel like everyone hates you, [00:11:00] finds you annoying all the time, which is me.

[00:11:02] Like, I just, I just, I basically automatically assume you don't like me unless you reassure me that you do. I have, I have had a hard time maintaining friendships over the period of my life. Like I have very close friends, but outside of those close friends in any period of life, um, like it's just hard for me to maintain.

[00:11:26] Friendships, and I think a big part of it is that because I'm just so forgetful, like I legit forget to like reach out or hang out or, or whatever that may be or, or reply or anything like that. I'm the worst at texting. I am the worst at text messages. I can almost guarantee you, unless you're my mom or sister or husband, that.

[00:11:50] If you text me, I may or may not text back. And that's just, it's, it's not kind or respectful, but the it is, it is. It just what is what it [00:12:00] is with me. Okay. What else? Um, like sleep issues are very common with women with a D H D I think men also, um, am I forgetting anything? Let me just look. I made notes cause I knew I would forget things.

[00:12:16] Um, I interrupt people all the time and I hate that about myself, but I honestly, I think it's just because I, I worry I'm gonna forget what I want to reply to them. Instead of letting them complete their thought, I interrupt them, which is terribly rude. And I also have a really hard time maintaining eye contact when I'm talking to people.

[00:12:35] And I think, honestly, it's like, I, I don't know. It's, I, I don't know if that's like a focus thing or what, but like I have a really hard time maintaining eye contact, which again is perceived as probably being rude and I'm not intending it that way, but like between interruptions and having a hard time maintaining eye contact, I'm like, people, then I go into like, people probably really hate me.

[00:12:58] Um, so [00:13:00] there's that. I had another thought, but I forgot. Okay. Hold on. There were a bunch of comments. Let me just double check. I'm not missing something. Um, okay. What was I gonna say? I completely forgot. Mm, okay. Oh, so like I mentioned at the beginning of this, I am primarily inattentive, technically combination, but primarily inattentive, which is all the things I was just describing.

[00:13:23] I, I have small hyperactivity, which is like, I, I have a really hard time sitting in like one position sitting still unless I'm doing something else. Like if I'm just sitting here talking to you, then for the most part I can sit here. But if I'm like watching a movie where I'm doing something like passive, I cannot sit still.

[00:13:42] Or like when I used to go to church, if I was sitting in church, I could not sit still. Like it was just like the constant, like needing to move, I guess. And then the other thing is I have always been like a really. Heavy foot driver, like I'm a fast driver and [00:14:00] I didn't know that. That's actually like a s a hyperactive sign in women with adhd.

[00:14:06] So like, just a couple things like that. Um, I can be really talkative, but I also can be really, really quiet. So I don't really consider that. I don't know. But, so those are kind of the, the few things that I have found. Um, as far as that goes, but I would say so. Okay. I was thinking maybe I had this, I was doing all the research.

[00:14:29] My therapist was telling me I probably have this, and so I decided to finally, this winter, like late winter, I think it was like February. I. Decided to be evaluated. So I went to a psychiatrist. I had to do like six different, like really in-depth questionnaires. Um, I had to do two like interviews with, uh, with her and [00:15:00] that, I think it was February.

[00:15:03] Yes, I do experience insomnia and I also, um, like really bad. Okay. Sleep routine for me is impossible, which exacerbates all the symptoms, especially focus and memory. Vicious circle a hundred percent. Okay, thank you. You reminded me. Focus. So that's another thing is that like I can have a really hard time doing something.

[00:15:24] Like, remember my, uh, my example of being in college and like all my classmates were like, Spacing out their work for a big paper over like a month long cycle. And I was like going to the library at 11 o'clock at night for four hours and just knocking it all out the like eight hours before the deadline of the paper.

[00:15:47] So like I, but that's the thing is like, that's when I can like really like hyper focus on something and when I can hyper focus on something, then I can do amazing things. Um, [00:16:00] I go into these cycles of like, I'm like everyone in my family knows, I'm like the master researcher. Like I'm really good at researching things.

[00:16:10] But that's the issue is that like I will. I will have like a tiny interest in something and be like, oh, I wonder what the answer to that is. And then I spend like three hours on my phone researching this random thing while putting off things that I need to do. So if that makes sense. Um, also like I will pick up new hobbies and like try them and go all in and have to do it perfect and buy every single, um, Product that like would be for like an advanced hobbyist of this hobby and then like two weeks later I completely lose interest.

[00:16:46] Um, I like eat a specific food every single day for like a month at a time. And then I look at it one day and I'm like, I never want to eat that again. And then I move on to something else. So just like, those are other weird things that I've [00:17:00] noticed also. So I was, I was diagnosed then in I think February of this year, and the psychiatrist was like, you know, we're seeing a lot.

[00:17:09] Um, we're seeing a lot of evaluations over, uh, the last two years with, um, um, okay. So someone said, sounds a bit O C D. Um, yes. I, yes, I think, and I D H D and O C D often are diagnosed together. I have not been diagnosed Ooc D but I would not be surprised. I, so I was diagnosed and um, she said that over the last two years they've had like a drastic increase in evaluations of women.

[00:17:43] And she suspects, honestly, it's partially in due to social media and people being on social media more over the last two years. And then, Also just more awareness around around it. Plus she's like, there's an entire generation of [00:18:00] women who are in their thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, who just weren't even considered for a diagnosis as kids and are like, seek are being more aware.

[00:18:11] And so they are now seeking out evals or treatment or whatever. So she was like, you know, I have met with. I have evaluated quite a few people in the last two years, and it's not always very clear cut. And sometimes we'll come back to it or we'll do further evaluations or we will talk to like family, we'll do like evaluations with family members so that we can get their perceptions of things and, and all of that.

[00:18:35] And she was like, this is a very clear cut. She's like, this is very clear to me that you have a d h D and you have always had h d. So she prescribed me medication, uh, like a stimulant. I don't, I, I think it was like the generic for Adderall. I have not even filled it because again, I just don't know if I want to try it.

[00:18:56] Um, she and my therapist have been re very [00:19:00] reassuring that it's not something that has to like, build up in your system. It's not something that you have to like, take every day for like a month before you know if it works yet or not. She was like, you can take it and you'll know, like, you'll know right away if it's gonna help you or not.

[00:19:13] Um, and then she's like, if you don't find it helpful, then you can stop. I'm hesitant because I have. So for personal reasons, I'm just hesitant, but, um, I am not completely closed off to it. I may try it at some point, but for now I am just working on other ways to kind of treat it or I guess manage it would be better, uh, better way of explaining it.

[00:19:42] But I've not been very successful with it. So who knows? But again, my, my symptoms of it are pretty mild, all things considered for the majority of the month. But like I really am impacted by hormonal fluctuations [00:20:00] or like if I'm really stressed, if I have something going on in my life that as adding a lot of outside stress and I notice it more.

[00:20:07] Also, I do see signs of it in my eight year old, but I don't wanna talk about her. You know, anything with this, with her on here, because that's not my place to do it. But I do see signs in her and I do know that it, it has a genetic component also. So all of that. One last thing I wanted to say is that be because, okay, this is kind of two-sided, so women have always been like underdiagnosed because there, there hasn't been as much knowledge about it with women.

[00:20:40] However, also, Women are really good at like masking and so they like, are like, oh shoot, like something's going on with me and I can't figure this out. And so they like figure out how to, um, not overcome it, but basically hide it. That often manifests [00:21:00] in becoming anxious or becoming depressed, which, you know, like that happened to me when I was 13.

[00:21:07] So then they're diagnosed as as having anxiety or depression, which again happened to me. And um, And then that's just how they are treated and that they think that's what they have. And, and they may have it, they, they may have had it also in addition to A D H D, or they may have developed it because of the inability to process what's happening with A D H D.

[00:21:30] Thanks for hanging out and listening to the Decluttered Mom podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world if you could write a review or share this episode with a friend or your Instagram stories. And if you're on Instagram, be sure to follow [email protected] and send me a DM to say hi.

[00:21:49] I'd love to hear what you thought about today's episode. I hope you'll come back next week and hang out with us again.[00:22:00]