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Diana Rene: 0:06

You're listening to the Decluttered Mom podcast, a podcast built specifically for busy moms by a busy mom. I'm your host, Diana Rene, and in 2017, I had my second daughter and it felt like I was literally drowning in my home Okay, not literally, but I felt like I couldn't breathe with all of the stuff surrounding me. Over the next 10 months, I got rid of approximately 70% of our household belongings and I have never looked back. I kind of feel like I hacked the mom system and I'm here to share all the tips, tricks and encouragement. Let's listen to today's show.

Welcome to this week's episode of the decluttered mom podcast. This week, we are jumping into part two of the conversation with Paige Pritchard, who's talking all about overspending. If you didn't listen to last week, go back and listen to that first, because that's the first half of our conversation. We'll link it in show notes, but definitely go listen to that first and then come back and listen to this one Again. I could talk to her forever. She is so knowledgeable, she knows her stuff and she gives such great advice for easy tips that you can think about as you're going about your day. She needs no further introduction, so let's just jump into the conversation. I put this out to my Instagram audience earlier this week. I just said I left it kind of general and vague and I just said I have an overspending expert coming on. What questions do you have for her? I was showing Paige before we started recording just how many questions there were. There were so many. What was kind of funny is there were several that were just like how? That was the question. It was like well, that's the million dollar question, right? There was another that I got quite a bit and I selfishly would like to talk about because I was late diagnosed ADHD. So I was diagnosed at age 37. I'm 39 now. Everything in my life makes so much more sense ever since I got this diagnosis. But this person wrote ADHD and the need for dopamine equals overspending. I have never related to something more than that statement right there. I have developed tools over time that have helped me with that. I think just the nature of what I do for work also helps with that, because I don't want to build clutter up again, so that helps for me. Can you just talk a little bit about, first of all, do you think that's accurate? Do you think there's validation in that? And, number two, what can be done to start slowing that process, or a lot of questions along the same line where what are some other healthy things I can do for that dopamine that sound more appealing than go exercise?

Paige Pritchard: 3:26

Yeah, totally, 100%, 100%. This is such an amazing question. So one I just want to kind of confirm everything that you're saying because, yes, absolutely, adhd and overspending because of that extra need for that dopamine, it's absolutely a real thing. I would say that I mean because I've pulled the women in my community to say, like, do you have ADHD officially diagnosed or do you just kind of strongly suspect that you do have it? And I would say at least half of the women in my community are either officially diagnosed or unofficially, but they're like I'm pretty sure I have it. So, yes, absolutely, there's a very strong link between those two things and I will send this to you if you want to put it in your show notes. I want to say I myself do not have ADHD. So this is something that, although I don't struggle with it personally, like I said, I've helped many of my clients who have it. But I actually brought an ADHD expert onto my podcast and we had a discussion about ADHD specific to your spending habits. So I will send that to you if you want to put it in the show notes for any of you who do want to listen to that episode. But a couple of things that I have found help with my clients that they've told me are really really helpful. It is finding any sort of way to kind of like make your spending or your saving either, or almost kind of like a game, so to speak, to kind of like gamify it. So two things that I think are really really good for that is. So one I actually have it right here, I'll show you, I keep it at my desk but one is something called an urge jar. So I don't know if people have the video of this, but I have like little dollar bills in mind. That's so cute, you don't have to use these dollar bills. Or like little mini dollar bills, like for a dollhouse or something. Yeah, okay, but the biggest thing like so I'm going to kind of merge those two questions that you gave me, where someone's just like how, like? how do I stop right? So the biggest tip that I can give you for just a great like first place to start is practicing giving yourself a pause, and this kind of goes back to what I was talking about with the Amazon and the social media and things like that. Like, I think it's, we all have to get to a point where we recognize just how addicted, in a sense, that we have become to instant gratification. Like just this cycle of see it, want it, buy it, see it, want it, buy it right. Like when you're on Instagram and you see that ad, I mean it's literally could be less than 60 seconds between seeing something, clicking on the ad and then just having to make one click to purchase it, and so giving yourself a pause in between seeing, wanting and buying something. P it's huge and I know it sounds simple and people hear it and they're like it almost sounds too simple to be effective. But I promise, like, just try it. So the next time you see something that you want to buy whether it's like online social media ad, you're in target, strolling the aisles or whatever my big role is like have you planned this purchase for at least 24 hours in advance? And I'm not talking about like more of just like, kind of like the everyday stuff, like putting gas in your car, going to the grocery store. I'm just talking about like the out of ordinary purchases where you're like, ooh, that looks cool, ooh, that looks cool. So it's like have you been planning this purchase for at least 24 hours? And if the answer to that question is no, I haven't, this is like just some random like coffee mug that I saw like strolling down the target aisles and I see it and I like it. We're going to practice the art of pausing and this is kind of like where your urge jar can come into hand, because every single time that you allow what I call the urge to splurge which kind of working through an urge can look different for different people, but typically, like studies have shown that if you don't resist the urge, if you don't fight against it, if you don't kind of get into that like fantasy area in your mind where you're like prolonging the urge, the urge will typically last no more than a couple of minutes, like five to seven minutes. So my biggest thing is like, when I see something, you're going to kind of get that like sensation inside of you to be like ooh, like I want this and really like, for all my ADHD people and I mean this is everybody. Really, what's happening? Even when you see something that you want to buy, your brain starts to release dopamine, like. A lot of people think like, oh, it's not until I swipe my credit card or it's not until I hit, like, the click now button. But dopamine is the anticipation molecule, which means it actually starts to get released in anticipation of a pleasurable event. And so that's why, when you see something that you want to buy, like it almost just feels like you're being like pulled, like actually physically like pulled towards it, because dopamine is meant to kind of like I don't know, like pull you towards the things that you want. It's the desire molecule. So I explain all this because, for me, having a certain sense of awareness over like what was happening on a psychological level was really helpful for me and it allowed me to kind of like come off autopilot in those situations, because before I would just be in those situations and it almost would just feel like life was kind of happening to me and I wasn't even cognizant of what was going on. And then after the fact, it was like whoa, like, what, what just happened right? So, when you can gain a level of understanding of like, okay, I see this thing, I want it, dopamine is being released in my brain right now. That's kind of why I have this urge after that, like, truly, some of the one of the best things that you can do Again, it sounds super simple is just take three really deep breaths, because getting some extra oxygen to your brain that has just gone from this very like logical state to this very like emotional state where it's not using a lot of logic and reason, can kind of help bring you back. And then I always do two things. Okay, I always. Now, I don't always have this with me, so if I don't have my urge jar with me, I will record it in my phone, in my notes app. And just in case you're not seeing this on video, like what I have right now is I have two containers and then I have a hundred of these little like trinkets. These could be anything. These could be Legos, bobbupens, whatever, whatever. You have a hundred of Don't spend more money. Don't buy something to make your urge jar. Okay, everybody, if I'm at home, like, let's say, I'm like on my computer and I see something on Amazon, I allow my urge, I do my couple of deep breaths, I allow that kind of like tug that I feel, that kind of like tight feeling that I feel to kind of dissipate and pass, and after I've done that, I move one trinket from one jar to the other jar. So this is essentially like a visual representation of all the money that I would have spent but I didn't spend. And what I will do is I will go log it on a list where I log like coffee mug from Target and I always log like what I would have spent. I always log like coffee mug from Target, $8, $10, whatever it was that I would have spent. And after you do this a couple of times, one, what kind of starts to happen is like I said, it gamifies the process. It gives you something to look forward to and to do Like. I've gotten to the point where I get just as much of a dopamine hit from doing this as I do from actually buying something. And I also have I know a couple other people have something called like a things I want to buy list, where it's just like a running list of all the things that you like want to buy, that you can, that you can add it to the list, but it's just finding like little ways like that in relation to the purchasing process. And then to your point, it can be helpful to like redirect to other dopamine things. Honestly, decluttering is a suggestion that I give a lot Like for me. I always say like okay, before I go out and buy something, I'm going to go declutter like one area of my house, but I know that that's something that you that you talk about a lot. So yeah, absolutely Okay.

Diana Rene: 11:55

I really like all of that, something that for me, with my ADHD and I think it has always been there, right. But I do think technology made it harder, like you were saying, because when I was a teenager, or even in college, like I had to go to a physical store to buy something and then once, like, online shopping became a thing, it was easier, but I am not someone who memorized this credit card number, so like that I always had that as like a barrier, like oh, I have to go get up and go get the credit card, so I'm not going to do that. But then, like Apple Pay came out, it's like you just have to click the button and it's done, like everything's filled out for you, like they make it so easy, right. So Amazon is where I like have always struggled the most when it comes to overspending, and so something that I started doing that has helped me is I started doing like an Amazon order day. So like I used to do it just once a week and now I like I've stretched it to like once a month is my Amazon order day and it's the first day of the month, just to keep it easy, and so all month I can add things into my Amazon account, like I can put it into my cart, but I can't order it unless it's Amazon order day. And then what I've found is, by the time it's like the order day, I like don't want anything that's in there anymore, like the rush of it has passed. And I really, really like what you said about the idea of like dopamine is already there, like the anticipation, just like you know, like as a kid, like the anticipation of Christmas was almost always better than like the actual day of Christmas, like by noon of Christmas, 100%. What is this? You know, I really like that and I don't think I've ever thought about that before. But it makes sense because the amount of times I've ordered something and I've gotten that dopamine hit but then it gets here and I don't really want it and I end up returning it and like going through that cycle. I like the idea of remembering that, like just looking at the product and like thinking about it or how I might use it, or things like that. That may be like what I need versus actually ordering the product.

Paige Pritchard: 14:17

Yeah, 100%, you hit the nail on the head. This is something that I commonly say all the time, and I always talk about this right, exactly what you said. I always say like Christmas Eve to me, like Christmas Eve day is actually so much better than Christmas day, like I love it so much more because you're in that anticipation of it. And they've also done studies that have shown that people actually get more enjoyment out of the period of time before a vacation than they actually do on the vacation itself. And so it's like knowing all of this and taking it and applying it to how you spend money and applying it to your purchases, because I can't tell you how many times I've had somebody tell me once I get the product, I just feel so disappointed. It's almost like once I actually pull the trigger and buy it, it's like that build up, that excitement, that anticipation is gone. And I explained to them. I'm like well, that's because you've been able to kind of almost like relish in the anticipation of the purchase. And I'll just give you guys one more practical tool. When you said this about what you do with Amazon, this is it's a tool that I share with a lot of people, and it sounds like you're already doing it, which is great, but the feedback that I get from my women in my community is that this is one of their favorites, but it's something that I call shopping sprint, and so basically, take start your shopping sprint with one area that you like to do a lot of spending in. So maybe for you that's skincare, maybe it's clothes Like to your point, maybe Amazon is kind of like your area. So I want you just to pick one area and, going into a month, I want you to pick a short period of time, like a one to two day period, where you say I'm not going to buy any skincare outside of this two day window, or I'm not going to buy anything from Amazon that's like not absolutely like essential out of this two day window. But when I'm outside of that two day window, what I'm going to be doing is like when I see something, I'm going to kind of be like adding it to my list. Some of my clients do like a Pinterest board. If it's clothes, I'm going to add it to my Pinterest board or whatever. And then, when you actually get to that window of time, what I always tell them to do as well is decide ahead of time how much you're going to be spending. So those are kind of like the two decisions that you have to make when is my window going to be and how much am I going to let myself spend? So let's say you're like I'm going to do this for clothes and I'm going to allow myself $200. And my shopping sprint is going to be the two last days of this month, like October 30th and October 31st. From now until then, anytime you see any article of clothing or like an ad for anything, you're going to save it down. You're going to put it all in one place, like an album or a Pinterest board or something like that, and then, once your shopping window gets closer, you actually can kind of like sit down and say, ok, here's everything that I've seen over the past 30 days. You can do this once, a quarter, whatever, but this is everything I've seen since the last one that I did, and this is how much I have to spend. So what do I want to get? And, to your point, I typically find that half the stuff you've decided that you don't want anymore. It helps you stay within budget because you're spending all of your money all at one time and most people find themselves in situations where it's kind of like a death by 1,000 cut situation. Like you're like oh it's 20. Oh it's 15. Oh it's $30. That's nothing. And then you get your credit card statement and you're like what? I spent $600. Like how is this possible? Because it doesn't seem like it's just kind of like drips, right. So you're spending all of your money all at one time and for certain things I think it's really helpful because you can kind of start to view things as a collection versus just these random, disparate items. So I find this works really well for clothes in particular, because you're looking at your wardrobe as a whole and like, ok, what's going to go well together, and then you do your shopping sprint. So then you go and you spend all $200. You buy everything that you want to buy. You do all of your shopping in that short two-day window and the women that I've tried this with, they absolutely love it. They're like I tried it. I loved it because I'm like you're still getting to spend money, but it's disciplined, it's purposeful. You're deciding ahead of time and you're giving yourself that time, right, you're giving yourself that pause to decide, like what do I really want and what do I not really want.

Diana Rene: 18:48

Yeah, I really like that. Do you find that that's typical or is that the norm that people tend to overspend by the death by 1,000 cuts concept, or is it more big purchases?

Paige Pritchard: 19:04

I would say it's mostly people who do it's the death by 1,000 cuts. I will say that in some of my clients, a lot of my clients have told me that they'll do a lot of what I call the binge in restrict, where they'll go out and they'll spend a lot of money on a lot of big ticket items and then they'll be like, oh my god, I just spent so much money, let me just not spend any money for 30 days, 60 days, and so then it's kind of like this cycle of feast or famine, up and down, binge in restrict. So I see that a lot too. It can kind of just be like a consistent drip For you. It might be the type of thing where it's like the boom and the bust. Yeah, that makes sense.

Diana Rene: 19:50

Yeah, and, like I said, I think for me personally like with the whole ADHD thing, I think it's always been an issue for me. I think learning to declutter and learning that whole process really took it down several matches and then implementing these things has helped a ton. One area that I do have a hard like, currently have a hard time with and this was also a common thing in my questions on Instagram is food. So groceries and eating out and I think part of it is just inflation, like groceries cost but feels like 20 times more than it did three years ago. But this was a very, very common sentiment was like I feel like I'm good on buying toys or clothes or makeup or things like that. It's on necessities, like I feel like I am overspending on basic things that we need as a family to live and function. So what happens when OK, this, actually I'm going to go into another tangent before I even let you answer. So let's talk about food, yeah, let's do it Groceries and takeout what are some ways that people, if they feel like they're number one, how do they know they're overspending? Is it just like a budgeting thing? And then number two, like what are some ways that they can squash that?

Paige Pritchard: 21:27

Yeah, yeah, no great question. So I will say this for me personally, food is the hardest area for me. Like, without a doubt, 100%. This is the area that my husband and I most struggle with as well. Right, I'm totally with all you guys. I'm going to tell you some things that have helped with us, and I think you made this point. I think part of this is just recognizing, like I think we all have to come to the general recognition that things are just so much more expensive now than they used to be, and so I know this sounds like very obvious, but if you're still trying to work your grocery budget and the grocery budget that you had like three years ago, and you're still trying to like buy the same amount of food for the same amount of money, I wouldn't necessarily say that that's overspending. Like I just think that that's like inflation, cost of living rising, and I think you just have to say, like I'm buying the necessities, I'm buying all the things that I've bought in the past, but it cost $100 more now. That's not necessarily you overspending, that's just us living in a world that's a lot more expensive. But I will give you some things that have worked like really well for me. One and I know that this is something that a lot of us already do, but I feel like for even for me, it took me a long time to get on this train and once I got on it I was like why haven't I been doing this for years but just grocery pickup and like ordering your groceries, like doing it online. Because I find that, one, it just helps you see as you're totaling everything up in your cart, like you can actually see a running total as you're doing that. And two, you're not actually having to go into the store and I feel like for a lot of people, just like walking the aisles and seeing things where they're like, ooh, I'm going to throw this in, ooh, I'm going to throw this in I feel like that can have you spending like twice as much, 50% as much as if you just never go into the store regardless.

Diana Rene: 23:25

So I know a lot of people.

Paige Pritchard: 23:27

I know exactly, like I know a lot of people are on that train, but I still like to say it because, like I said, it took me way too long. I didn't start to do that until my daughter was born and I just like didn't want to leave the house with a newborn. And then after I did it I was like why have I not been doing this for like forever? So grocery pickup is one Another one. This is actually a tip that I learned from one of my favorite kind of like grocery saving people to follow. Her name is Gina the saving whiz. She has like a ton of followers. Her handle is the saving whiz W-H-I-Z. I actually had her come on my podcast and one of the favorite tips that she gave me that I'm just going to like extend to all of you guys so this really is a tip from Gina is, she said, always have kind of like a backup meal. She calls it takeout fake out. But kind of like those nights where you're like I really want takeout, like I really don't want to have to like cook something at home, what's like a meal that you could basically come up with beforehand, that's almost kind of like a takeout fake out that's easy for you guys to make. So I know, like for my husband and I that's the orange chicken from Trader Joe's. So it's like I always have some of that stocked in our freezer. So, like on nights where we're like, okay, let's just let's get takeout, I'm kind of like, well, why don't we just cook this kind of like, do like the takeout, fake out. So that's another good tip. And then what was the third? I had one more that I wanted to give. Oh gosh, it's escaped me. Okay, well, think of it. Yeah, if you have any thoughts on them.

Diana Rene: 25:04

It'll come back to me. It'll come back to you as soon as we hit. Stop recording, right. I know that's usually how that works. I like that I have been doing. I used to do grocery pickup for years and years and same thing. I started when I had a newborn and I just didn't want to go into the store. Then I started over the pandemic using like grocery delivery services and I we actually my husband and I just talked about this yesterday we were like we need to go back to grocery pickup because the grocery delivery services has a markup on every single item Plus you have to tip the. I mean you have to, but like we tip, and we always tip 20%, and like groceries are expensive, so like that tip ends up being a big chunk and that delivery driver deserves it, but like it just blows up the grocery budget. And so we just did a pickup the other day and I was like, oh my gosh, let's save so much money just doing that.

Paige Pritchard: 26:07

Yeah, 100%. And I'll say this too Like I know a lot of women in my community. They say that their vice is kind of like the delivery apps like Uber, eats or DoorDash or things like that. And if that seems to be a really big trigger for you, just like knowing that you have the convenience on your phone and you know whatever, like just delete the apps off your phone seriously, and I know that you can redownload them. But exactly what you were saying earlier, it's like anytime that we can introduce a certain level of friction into the equation of you just saying I'm going to delete this off my phone. And if I do kind of have that urge to get something off DoorDash, like I'm going to have to like re-download the app, re-log and like the brain hates obstacles, the brain hates friction. And I mean you guys know this it's like anytime, like when you're wanting to buy something and you have to get up and walk across your house to go get your purse, to like pull out your credit card, you're like, eh, forget it, you know what I mean, it's not even worth it Totally. It's the same thing, like if the apps are a big struggle for you, seriously just like delete them off your phone. And I will also give you. There's an app. It's called BlockSite B-L-O-C-K-S-I-T-E. Download BlockSite onto your phone. It's actually meant to be a productivity app to block you from getting on certain sites and stuff when you're trying to focus and be productive, but you can also use it to block certain websites and stuff on your phone or apps on your phone. Even if you're like I'm going to delete DoorDash off of my phone and then I'm going to have BlockSite BlockSite's free I'm going to have BlockSite block DoorDash on my phone. So even if I do feel tempted to re-download it on my phone, I can't. Blocksite is going to stop me from doing that. So again, it's just kind of like putting those measures in place in the beginning and of course, it's going to be uncomfortable, but it's just a habit, right, like anytime, you get into a habit of constantly ordering things on these apps, it just becomes a habit that we have to break.

Diana Rene: 28:11

Yeah, and I think it's easy to like slowly fall into that habit too, like last. So like early spring last year, we had the pipe in our kitchen sink like the pipe that like all the sink water goes down, break and we didn't know it, and so it was like going under our kitchen floor for we don't know how long and then, till we finally figured it out, so, long story short, our entire kitchen was gutted. We didn't have a kitchen for four months. So I like totally fell into Uber Eats, basically every day, tons of takeout. My daughter has tons of food allergies and so there was that restriction also, like there was just so many things like so many stressors around food that I just was like I will find I will go to the grocery store and find food for her and then my husband and I will just eat Uber Eats, because I can't handle like trying to figure out how to cook food right now without a kitchen. But then what I found was I got so in that habit during that four month time period that once we had a kitchen again, it was like it's so hard to break that habit to the point where I had to just delete Uber Eats completely from my phone, like you were saying, and I am, and the rule is we only use Uber Eats if, like, everyone in the house is sick. So, like if we can't go like, if we're just over it and we're sick and everyone has the flu or whatever, then we can order Uber Eats, but besides that, it's just not an option for us. Yeah.

Paige Pritchard: 29:46

Yeah, I think having those rules and almost kind of like those boundaries, like that just help you, and that's that's the biggest thing y'all is like just with anything with your purchases, with deciding what you're going to eat. It's like we do so much better when we can make our decisions ahead of time. And this is what my husband and I figured out, and I also remembered the thing I was going to say OK, perfect, so I'll say that after I do this. But, like my husband and I, what we started to realize is that if my husband walks out of the door in the morning to go to work and we haven't already decided what we're having for dinner that night, it's game over. Like we're probably going to go out to eat or we're probably going to get Uber Eats or Door Dash, like that's just the pattern that we found ourselves going into. And so I think it's just like start paying attention, start having observance and awareness over, like what's going on. Like, ok, the nights that I am ordering out or going out to eat, I'm spending a ton of money on food that I really don't want to be spending. What's going on Like what's happening? Is it because we just were exhausted after a really long day and we just don't want to think about it or like let's just go to like our go to Mexican restaurant. Is it because I've had a bad day and I'm trying to kind of like soothe myself and make myself feel better with food? It's figuring out what's going on but then making those choices and decisions ahead of time. And you don't have to like plan out your whole week. But like what we'll typically do is like we'll go into a week and just say here are six options for dinner this week. We don't pin ourselves down to like Monday night we're going to have this and Tuesday night we're going to have this. We just say here's six options and we'll kind of see what we feel like. But we have those six options determined ahead of time and like all the grocery shopping is done before the week even starts to make sure that we're prepped for all those six meals. But the last thing that I was going to say and this is something I see all the time is be honest with yourself. I promise you you will save yourself so much money if you are just honest and realistic with yourself. Yeah, and here's the thing is that like where most people get themselves into trouble is that they double dip, meaning they go into a week and they're like I'm going to be good this week, I'm going to eat all my meals at home and make all my meals. So they go to the grocery store on Sunday, they spend hundreds of dollars on groceries and then that doesn't happen. Like they go through their week and they end up eating out three or four times. So now you've just spent all this money on groceries and you've also spent all this money on takeout and I find that that's that's truly where people get themselves in the most trouble. And I'm like, listen, maybe, and this is just going to be the case for some people, and there's nothing wrong with this y'all I'm like maybe you are just an eat out type of person. Like maybe you prefer to eat out, you like the convenience of it, you just prefer. Like you don't like cooking, you don't like the cleanup, whatever, you just prefer to eat out. So I'm like, if that's you, then just honestly kind of like accept it. Like I worked with one of my clients on this and she was just double dipping. She was like trying to kind of be this like grocery, I'm going to cook all my meals, like, do all this stuff? And then, of course, she wasn't doing it. And when it got down to it, she's like, honestly, paige, I don't even like want to be doing this, it's just what I feel like I should be doing. Like I feel like this is just the expectation and I was like, well, what if you're just what if you're just a takeout person? What if you're just a restaurant person? Her getting to that point of accepting, at least for now in my life I'm not going to be the person who's making every meal at home and I do actually enjoy the convenience of eating out. When she made that flip and we went into the next month and she was like I'm slashing my grocery budget by like 80 percent and I'm moving all of that money over into my takeout, she spent like half as much. Be honest with yourself and just don't double dip, because I find that that's where a lot of us get our stuff. It's like, how much food do you end up throwing out at the end of the week? Because you're like I bought this thinking I was going to make this like salad, and it's just like this bag of lettuce that's been sitting in there for two weeks, right? So just when you can be honest with yourself, you're going to save yourself so much money, I promise.

Diana Rene: 33:51

Yeah, I really love that. We talk in our community a lot about time versus money and what we want to do, like do you want to spend the time to clean your house or do you want to spend the money to have your house cleaned? Neither one is good or bad. It's just about your priorities, your time availability or budget availability. So that goes along with exactly what you're saying is you're not going to buy all the cleaning products for yourself to use. No, because you want to be the person who has a perfect cleaning schedule and you feel like you should, but then you also hire cleaners to come in and clean. Being honest with yourself, I think, in all areas of home management and just life as a mom in general, I think would save people a lot of money, but also time, energy and shame, kind of like what we were talking about earlier too.

Paige Pritchard: 34:52

Yeah, and I think it's just deciding exactly your point. It's like I'm either going to buy this with my time or I'm going to buy it with my money, and what do I choose? And it's just deciding what works best for you and your family dynamic. Like, maybe you're like look, I'm going to be the mom who cooks most of my meals at home, but, contrary to that, I don't want to clean my house. So it's like I'm going to save on groceries, like I'm going to save in this area over here, but so that I can spend over here and buy my time back here, right? So it's really just all kind of like a balance and a trade-off and sending your money where it's going to be most valuable for you. And exactly what you said like there's no right answer, there's no right way. So don't be looking at what everyone else is doing. Because I feel like that's really where we get ourselves tripped up, is where we're like well, she doesn't have a house cleaner or she just whatever, right, and it's just kind of like you can't. It's apples to oranges, like you can't do that to yourself, because what works for her probably isn't going to work for you. Yeah, Perfect.

Diana Rene: 35:56

Ok, so that kind of leaves me perfectly into the last topic I wanted to discuss with you, which was very common also in the questions that people are asking, and that is like the whole comparison thing, a lot of questions about like right here it says how to stop impulse buying, how to avoid influencers pushing products, how do you use social media without being influenced to buy products? That's a common one. Like people want to be on social media, but like how can they be a smart social media consumer? When it comes to overspending, knowing that big corporations are using influencers more and more and more versus because they see that that's how their sales are driven, versus putting a commercial on TV that nobody really watches anymore.

Paige Pritchard: 36:50

Yeah, yeah, no, this is so. This is so, so common. This is like one of the top questions that I get. It's just like how can I be like just less influenced by what I see? So I'm going to give you like two practical tips, but then I also want to dive a little deeper, but the first two practical tips I have for you is one it's just practice, what we talked about earlier, right, like practicing the pause, and again asking yourself that question of have I been planning on purchasing this at least 24 hours in advance? And the thing with social media and everything that you see the influencers push. 99% of the time, the answer to that question is going to be no, right, because I mean, you know it's like you get on your phone and you go and you see the influencer and she's talking about like a blazer, a pair of shoes or a kitchen gadget that you're just now seeing. So, starting with that question and giving yourself the pause of just saying like, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to pause, like I'm going to think on this, you can add it to your things. I wanted to buy list, if you want. But just again practicing, practicing that pause, but I mean I think, like really, you kind of have to think about like I always talk about like being the biggest influencer in your own life, and I think this is like the part where we like get a little deeper Right. I think it's social media becomes really, really hard, because we've never had as much transparency into other people's lives as we have right now. And ultimately, at the end of the day, like, all we want as human beings is like we just want to feel better, like we just want to feel better or feel differently than we do. And something I'm constantly reminding myself of all of the time is just because I'm seeing a three minute day in the life clip of this person where they seem happy, incompetent and like they've had it all together and their kids are so well behaved and their kitchen is beautiful and their house is so clean, like. That doesn't mean that that's their reality 24 seven. But our brains have a tendency to do something that's called projection, where we take like one little piece of the puzzle and we project it and we say like oh, because this is how they looked in this three minute clip, like that must be what their whole life is like, and then we take that and we compare that to our lives, which, of course, none of our lives look like that, because that's just not reality, that's just not the human reality. But then we project and we compare it to our lives and we're like, well, my life doesn't look like that, I don't feel like that at all the time. So, like what's wrong with me, the association and the correlation that our brains have been so trained to make, which this is, this is the break that we have to sever. Is somebody or is the way that somebody feels is because of what they have? So, like somebody is happy because of what they have, somebody feels successful because of their business, somebody feels happy because they have this beautiful kitchen, or somebody feels confident because they have this amazing wardrobe. We are really quick to associate feelings with external possessions and again, this, this, is like the deeper work that takes a little bit longer, like it's not as just like a quick fix, but when you can kind of start to break that correlation and that association in your head of first of all realizing I've got to take this with a grain of salt. Just because this is what I'm seeing does not mean that this is this person's entire reality. And thirdly, they might be happy all the time, but they're probably not Like most people most people actually aren't and like they're just showing me what like they want me to see. Like of course, that's what they want me to believe, because that's what gets people to buy and to spend money. But just remembering this person's life is 50% good and 50% bad, just like how my life is 50% good and 50% bad and me going out and buying everything in their Amazon storefront or me going to their like to know what page and basically like creating a carbon copy of their wardrobe, it's not going to work. Like it's not going to give me the things that I want it to give me. And another like good practical tip is if you are somebody who really struggles with doing a lot of overspending on social media, I want you to actually start making a list of everything that you've bought off social media in the past, that now you're like me, like I could live without it, or things that you know you got one or two uses out of that are underneath your bathroom sink or cluttering up your pantry. Like actually remind, like we have to remind ourselves of that. Like write it down in a list and be like this is all the things that I bought and this is how much money that I've spent on just stuff that I found on social media that like seemed really good and exciting at the time and I used it twice and that was it. I think like bringing that to the forefront, like next time you do that, like just having that list on your phone, pulling it up and just looking at it is almost kind of like a reality check.

Diana Rene: 42:06

So to speak, one of my most viral top performing reels ever is a reel that just simply says how much money have you spent this year on stuff that is now sitting in piles, taking up space and stressing you out? And so, from a clutter perspective, like, if you're listening to this, you probably care about decluttering and remember that when you anytime you bring a new item into your home, you are creating work for yourself and you are creating stress for yourself, because if it doesn't have a home, if it's not being used, it's going to be a constant reminder of your overspending. But it's also going to just be more energy in your home that you now have to spend to maintain the home that you want to maintain. And so anytime we are bringing any new item in our home, I like to remember, like, okay, what is this going to? Like the? Is the positive net result I'm looking for it bigger than the negative net result of like now, I'm going to have to take care of this. This is going to be something that I'm going to have to pick up off the floor 10 times a day, because my kids aren't going to pick up, like all of those things that become a lot of the things that we buy on impulse or just compulsion end up being clutter a lot of the time.

Paige Pritchard: 43:31

Yeah, 100%. I mean, even yesterday, like the day that we're recording this, yesterday, maybe it's maybe even still going on, I don't know was the Amazon Prime day like the October Prime day. I didn't even know that it was Amazon Prime day, but even like even like yesterday.

Diana Rene: 43:47

I know like, I feel like.

Paige Pritchard: 43:50

I know. I'm like, I feel like like, how many times a year are we doing this? Now it's crazy. I mean, friday is going to be in like you know a month, but even yesterday, like I didn't, even I didn't even realize it was Amazon Prime day. And then all of a sudden, somebody posted in my own Facebook group like, yeah, like today's Amazon Prime day, like I'm so proud of myself, like I haven't bought anything or whatever, and I was like, oh, it's Amazon Prime day. Even my own brain started to go to like, oh well, maybe I should go and you know, look at what toys they have for my daughter. Because even for me, it's like I feel like my daughter is like outgrowing her like current set of toys. Like you know, in my brain I'm like she's so bored, she's so bored with all of her toys, she needs more you know what I mean. Even like my brain like wants to go there. But it's just like to your point, kind of thinking about like okay, well, what happens after? The toy gets here and she plays with it for 10 minutes and then she's like completely bored with it and just like onto the next thing. Right, having that process, exact that thought process, exactly what you talked about, is so helpful to me. I'm just thinking about like well, what happens after? What happens after it gets here and I unbox it and I use it a couple of times, and, to your point, then I have to pick it up and put it away, you know, five times a day. So it's so true, it's so true.

Diana Rene: 45:02

Yep, awesome. Okay, well, I could talk to you probably all day about this, but we both probably have other things we have to do. Can you share where? Number one, where people can find you, and then number two, like is there anything? If they want to just keep learning from you, how can they do that?

Paige Pritchard: 45:22

Yeah, so on social media Instagram and TikTok my handle is at overcoming underscore overspending. I also have a podcast that is called the Money Love podcast. So if you want to add a money podcast into your lineup, you can just listen to that wherever you listen to your podcast. And then a good free place to start is I have a masterclass that's called why you impulse shop and how to stop, and that's where we really kind of dive into kind of like the deeper, more internal mindset based, emotional based aspects behind your overspending. So I will make sure to send that so you can put it in the show notes. But also if you just go to my website, pagepurchardcom it's at the top and kind of on my website you'll be able to find it on the homepage if you want to send out for that.

Diana Rene: 46:11

Perfect. So we'll put all those links in the show notes and social media and all of that. So everyone, it's easy to find. But that's awesome. And I do think that I love that you go into like the deeper emotional side of it, cause that's what I do with decluttering too. It's not, it's it's. It is a skill that you have to learn. But to be able to learn the skill of decluttering it, you have to examine the emotional reasons of why you're holding on to the physical items and people don't do that. And then they wonder why, like everything builds back up, you know, as soon as they get done. So I love that you do that with the spending also Awesome. Well, it was so great to talk with you and I know that this is going to be so helpful to so many people, so be sure to check out page on social media and watch her class if impulse shopping and overspending is difficult for you.

Paige Pritchard: 47:05

Thanks for having me on. This was so fun.

Diana Rene: 47:07

Thanks for hanging out and listening to the decluttered mom podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world if you could write a review or share this episode with a friend or your Instagram stories. And if you're on Instagram, be sure to follow me at the decluttered mom and send me a DM to say hi. I'd love to hear what you thought about today's episode. I hope you'll come back next week and hang out with us again.