Episode 070: Say "No" More This Season
After a work trip to Scottsdale, AZ, I came home to my oldest daughter having a health scare, and I’m so thankful I was home to take care of her. After a few days, I got sick too. And all of this was Thanksgiving week. It’s been a week!
In this episode, Diana shares her unexpected Thanksgiving week and reminds us that it's okay to say “no” to activities this season.
We’ll also discuss:
- How do you make the holiday season simpler?
- How do I say “no” to all the events?
- Kids find magic in the small things.
What can you expect from this podcast and future episodes?
- 15-20 minute episodes to help you tackle your to-do list
- How to declutter in an effective and efficient way
- Guest interviews
- Deep dives on specific topics
This transcript is auto-generated. Please excuse grammatical errors.
Diana Rene: 0:06
You're listening to the decluttered mom podcast, a podcast built specifically for busy moms by a busy mom. I'm your host, diana Renee, and in 2017, I had my second daughter and it felt like I was literally drowning in my home. Okay, not literally, but I felt like I couldn't breathe with all of the stuff surrounding me. Over the next 10 months, I got rid of approximately 70% of our household belongings and I have never looked back. I kind of feel like I hacked the mom system and I'm here to share all the tips, tricks and encouragement. Let's listen to today's show.
Welcome to this episode of the decluttered mom podcast. I was not sure I was going to be able to make this episode for you guys. I have been so sick. This is the first day in six days. I think that my voice is like somewhat normal and I'm going to have to hit pause a lot because just talking makes me cough. But it's very interesting because actually, getting sick this week during Thanksgiving week, I'm recording this podcast actually like really right before it comes out. Normally I'll record these and they won't come out for a couple weeks or even a couple months sometimes because we plan out so far. But this it is like Sunday evening a couple days before this comes out on Tuesday. So I'm probably still trying to like fully get better and that also means that I was really sick for Thanksgiving week.
So I actually was on a work trip last week, like the week before Thanksgiving in Scottsdale, arizona, and that was wonderful. It was the last of the three mastermind retreats that, if you haven't, have not been around for a while. I talk about this, I think, in a episode from February. But I joined a business mastermind this year that required me to go on three week long business retreats and that really pushed me out of my comfort zone because it was away from my girls and I had never really been away from them more than like one overnight before, like ever. And so being away from them for three weeks this year it was I'm not going to lie it was rough. It was a little too much time away from them. I just don't, I just miss them so much when I'm not around them, and so I think you know, in the future if I do anything that's similar, then I will bring them along with me, but that's not the point of this episode.
So the day that I was flying home so that was last Saturday morning my husband texted me and said that my oldest was having a little bit of a hard time breathing, which she has asthma, so that's not like unheard of. However, 99% of the time, if she's having breathing issues, it means she's either already sick or she's getting sick. So I was like, okay, well, at least it's the last day and I'm on my way home to her and, sure enough, by Sunday morning she was sick, like really sick A lot of coughing, a lot of congestion, nauseous body aches and, most concerning, obviously a lot of breathing issues. So we ended up in the ER that night with her. We were there most of the night, we got there at 11. We didn't leave till 4 in the morning and a lot of breathing treatments, and All of that. Later she was at least stable enough to be home and I'm glad I was not sick at that point because I could take care of her and I could just.
You know, it was intense and it was kind of scary, and so I'm glad that I, like didn't have being sick on top of it. I don't know if that made sense. I don't know if this whole entire episode is going to make sense, because this is the first time I'm like sitting upright more like an hour. Oh, I can't laugh. So you know how it goes. Kids get sick a lot of times. Then Mom gets sick a few days later because they are coughing into our faces and are attached to us, and that's okay, it's just part of being mom, right? I want to make sure I can provide comfort to them, and that often means that I get sick in the process also.
So Tuesday morning I woke up so sick, you guys, I cannot remember being sick in like decades Like this week has been so rough and she had oh, I forgot to say that she tested positive for influenza A when she was in the hospital. So we're just assuming that's. What I have also is the same exact symptoms, and it happened a couple days after you know, being her being attached to me and coughing on me and all of that. So she and I have been like laying in bed, barely able to move. We couldn't eat. We're so nauseous, like every little movement, like our bodies just ached so much coughing, so much, just gross phlegm and yuck and everything was just. It's been a week. I've slept most of the last six days.
I swear it's hard for me to stay awake more than an hour and a half or two hours, but I need to get this podcast episode recorded and out to you. And it was interesting timing as I was thinking about it, as I was looking over like I don't do a script for my podcast episodes, I just do kind of like a little outline, and I was looking over the outline and I was like, wow, this is like this speaks to, like what happened this week, right? So something that you guys have been asking me a lot on Instagram is like how to make the holiday season feel just more simple, and that kind of goes or not, kind of it really goes in line with another question that I get a lot of is how do I say no to like doing all of the things, all of the events? You know it feels like if you wanted to, you could stack like four events every single day from now until New Year's and you'd still be missing out on things. And I think that there are so many things out there that are fighting for our attention, that are demanding our attention.
There are, like school activities that they put on for holidays. There are. You know, if your kids are in extracurricular activities, a lot of times they'll have extra like holiday performances or events or things like that. Your friend group will have more activities. And there are then the community events or neighborhood events or anything like that. There's just so much out there and it's really easy to say yes to too much because it's fun and because we're trying to create magical memories for our kids. And it's the next thing you know you look at your calendar and you're like, oh my goodness, especially if you are an introverted home body like me Like one event a weekend is still probably too much like if I have one event one weekend, I need the next weekend off. Like that's just how my brain works and I have friends that are totally opposite and like they can go to three events in a day and they can do that every single weekend and that like energizes them. That is not me, and if you are like me, I just want to be here to give you permission that like you don't have to say yes all the time, you're allowed to say no and you're allowed to let that be a complete sentence. You don't have to justify why you're saying no to all of the extra things.
And I think that we underestimate how much magic our kids just find from the very simple things in the holidays. They don't have to have really extravagant experiences every weekend for them to feel like it was a magical holiday season. Just driving around and looking at Christmas lights, that's magical, right. Like there are just so many things that when we look through kids eyes like it's all magical, it's all magical, and it's our adult parent brains that mess that up, that have to figure out how to make things over the top magical when, yeah, it can be fun sometimes. Is it necessary? No, and is it necessary at the expense of our mental health? Absolutely not.
So the reason I felt like this is so fitting for this week is that we had several things planned this week. Obviously Thanksgiving, and my girls were really excited about that, and we didn't go. Obviously we didn't go, but my husband and my other daughter also didn't go. Just because they've been around us, we still. They have not shown any symptoms yet, thank goodness, knock on wood. But we didn't want them to, like unknowingly, carry flu a into the family Thanksgiving, especially because of like elderly great grandparents, like we would not ever want to bring you know something that could harm them.
So none of us got to go to Thanksgiving and me and my nine year old were so sick that like we just couldn't even eat, like we couldn't even even you know, my husband went and got leftovers and like we could barely, like I couldn't eat any of it. My nine year old could eat a little bit. She's two days ahead of me on this flu adventure. So we didn't get to go to Thanksgiving. We didn't get to decorate for Christmas, which we always do, like the day after Thanksgiving, if we haven't already. Last year we actually did it a week early, but the plan this year was to do it the day after and we obviously didn't get to do that. We had tickets to go see Annie for traveling Broadway. That was here in Denver and we've been so looking forward to it and my husband and Miss Six did go, but Miss Nine and I did not get to go. We had, you know, we were still home.
So these are all things that were number one actual holiday, but then also things that we had planned to like make the holiday season magical, and things we enjoy doing in traditions. And we were forced to say no because our bodies had shut down and it was okay, we survived. My nine year old even said to me last night. She said it's I don't like having the flu, but it's been so nice having the whole week with you. That's what they care about. That is what our kids care about. They want our time and they want our attention and if we can just give that to them in whatever dose you're able to because I know there are so many people that are listening that are feeling really overwhelmed and overloaded with extra work and financial stress and everything with the way the economy is right now I understand that and so that is not said to put any type of guilt on you. It's just that when we are able to give them our attention and our time, that is magical to them, and we grossly underestimate what that means to them, especially during the holiday season.
So this is going to be a short one, guys, because my I've had to pause this probably 40 times as I'm recording for coughing fits. But I just wanted to leave you with that. That is okay to do less this season. You don't have to do it all. You don't have to say yes to everything. Look for the tiny moments that can be magical. We just watched a Christmas movie. We watched a Christmas movie while we were sick and we were missing Thanksgiving and it felt like holiday magic. Can you guys hear the washing machine in the background? I don't know if you can, but I'm sitting in the primary closet because it's the only place I can find right now to record, and my husband started a load of laundry and it is very loud in the background, so I don't know if you can hear it or if it's just me. Anyway, I just want to encourage you that it's okay If you do less this season. It's okay If you don't say yes to everything, your kids are still going to have a magical time, and it might even mean a less stressed mom, which would be an even more magical time for them, because, again, what they really really want is you and your attention, and I just think that saying yes to everything isn't going to necessarily create the magical environment that you're hoping for. It can actually backfire, and it's okay to say no, it's okay to do less this season.
Thank you for sticking in here with me. I'm sure it was not fun listening to my grovely voice for this episode, but I do appreciate you every week that you listen. I hope you know that this podcast has been a labor of love for me and for my team. It's something that we started before we really truly understood what it would take to put it on, and we are very proud of the fact that we just keep going, even when podcasting can feel tough or I've been sick for a week and my producer needs an episode. Now I just we've done so much to get these episodes to you and we do it because you guys give us the best feedback and we know that you're listening. We see you downloading every single week. We see you sharing it with friends on Instagram. We see you leaving reviews, like all of those things. Just please know that it means so much to me and to my team, who work so hard to get an episode out to you every single week.
Thanks for hanging out and listening to the Decluttered Mom podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world if you could write a review or share this episode with a friend or your Instagram stories. And if you're on Instagram, be sure to follow me at thedeclutteredmom and send me a DM to say hi. I'd love to hear what you thought about today's episode. I hope you'll come back next week and hang out with us again.