This transcription was automatically generated

041_DeclutteredPod

[00:00:00] Diana Rene: Hello and welcome back to another episode of The Declutter. Oh, the Decluttered Mom podcast. Apparently I can't speak tonight. Um, we are in part three of the A D H D series and this is just, uh, my explaining or explanation of my journey with ADHD and getting a later in life diagnosis at age 37 and. My entire childhood making sense.

[00:00:28] But, um, this is an Instagram Live and we decided to pull the Instagram live, um, off of Instagram and pull the audio and put it on the podcast because I get a lot of questions about A D H D. All the time, and we wanna make sure that we have a clear place to send people to, to be able to reference it. Plus, it's just easier to listen to a podcast than try to sit and watch a long Instagram live.

[00:00:55] So if you missed the first and second part of this series, you can go [00:01:00] back. It's just the last two weeks of podcast episodes, and you can listen to those first. But I just wanted to give you another disclaimer that this is my journey. This is just my experience. This is not meant to. Diagnosis or treat or anything like that.

[00:01:16] This is not like any medical thing for anyone that's listening to it. It's just my personal journey with A D H D and my late diagnosis and everything that goes into it. So I hope this series has been helpful for you, and I would love to hear in the dms on Instagram what you thought about it and. Yeah, I would just love to hear from you.

[00:01:39] So without further ado, let's hop into part three. You're listening to the Decluttered Mom Podcast. A podcast built specifically for busy moms by a busy mom. I'm your host, Diana Renee, and in 2017 I had my second daughter and it felt like I [00:02:00] was literally drowning in my home. Okay. Not literally, but I felt like I couldn't breathe with all of the stuff surrounding me over the next 10 months.

[00:02:10] I got rid of approximately 70% of our household belongings, and I have never looked back. I kind of feel like I hacked the mom system and I am here to share all the tips, tricks, and encouragement. Let's listen to today's show for me being diagnosed. Was a really interesting thing because I was really angry.

[00:02:37] I was really angry when I was diagnosed, and I think it's because I have struggled so much, especially in school. I struggled with school so much for so many years, and so I think I was angry that nobody knew, like nobody like thought to like. Get me evaluated or [00:03:00] consider that this could be going on, and like I don't blame anyone.

[00:03:03] I don't like my mom and I have had conversations about this. I don't blame her because she didn't know either. Like her perception of A D H D was also boys who were bouncing off the walls at school and getting in trouble. Like it wasn't, she didn't know. She didn't know any better either. But I don't, but I think, like my, my inner child doesn't know, doesn't know that, right.

[00:03:23] And is like it. It was, I was angry that nobody helped me and nobody figured this out for me. And I felt like I could have avoided a lot of pain throughout my life if I just knew this from a young age and was able to either treat it or manage it or whatever. But I also felt a lot of relief because it was like, Okay.

[00:03:45] I'm not just, I'm not dumb, I'm not lazy, I'm not dumb. Um, I just think differently. Um, so that was really good. So one of the first things that, or like the psychiatrist, [00:04:00] like I. Uh, when she like finally was like, okay, like, yes, I am going to diagnose you with this. She was like, so the, the kind of interesting thing is that one of the very, she's like, I tell everyone when I newly diagnose someone with a D H D I tell them to go do two things.

[00:04:18] Number one, I tell them to go create exercise routines. So like I tell them to go start moving their body on a consistent. Regular daily basis because it will help them so much. Number two, I tell them to go declutter. Um, and she is like, and I find it fascinating that you have been essentially self-treating this thing that you didn't know that you had by decluttering and by like creating this entire.

[00:04:54] Business around like your experience with decluttering. And if you know, I'm not gonna go through my whole [00:05:00] story with decluttering, but. If you know my story, you know that it just kind of happened on a whim, like at like a rock bottom, like I can't handle this anymore moment, and I got rid of 70% of our belongings.

[00:05:14] I just like went. I just went all in and just went for it. And I think because I saw such a drastic change in how I felt and how I was able to function, I stuck with it. I had no idea that it likely, my A D H D likely exacerbated the feelings of overwhelm, which everybody, if they have clutter, has feelings of overwhelm.

[00:05:43] But I think with A D H D, it's just even more so because the more stuff around you makes you, makes it even harder to focus and makes it you more forgetful and distractable and all that. So she's like, I think you were self-treating without even realizing it. And then, uh, like we started [00:06:00] talking about how I have systems and routines and she's like, Again, like I think you were self-treating without realizing it.

[00:06:07] And these are all really, really, really, really, really beneficial things for someone who has, who ha, who is struggling with this. And so I. I firmly believe that decluttering systems and routines helps anyone. I firmly believe that decluttering systems and routines helps, in particular mothers who have a lot on their plate.

[00:06:38] And I also firmly believe that decluttering systems and routines help people with A D H D. So I don't think it's like a. Only situation like. Decluttering only helps you if you have h d. Decluttering only helps you if you are a mom. Decluttering only helps you if you know that kind of thing. It [00:07:00] hel it's gonna help everyone.

[00:07:01] Um, but I just think that because I have D H D, that may be why it was like, Such an epiphany for me when I did first do that big initial declutter and it was so massively life-changing for me. Um, and has continued to be, and I don't know, like I don't know where I would be with my A D H D if I hadn't gone down that road and like accidentally self-treated, but I can imagine it would be a lot worse.

[00:07:31] Um, so several of you have encouraged me in the comments to maybe consider. Medication. And I, and I will, I will consider it. I don't, I don't, I don't think I'll immediately consider it, but I don't, I don't think it's bad and I don't think anyone taking medication for it is bad or like, it's not a good thing or anything like that.

[00:07:54] I just want to attempt to try other things first and then if not, um, [00:08:00] we'll go from there. But like I said, as a general, Overview, it doesn't impact my daily life in like a really big way. And so maybe that's part of it. Maybe that's probably why I am like, well, I don't think I have to do it right now. Um, because it's not, if it gets to a point where I do feel like I need it, which my psychiatrist did say, she's like, once you hit menopause, your symptoms could get a lot worse.

[00:08:29] Just because it, it can greatly. Increase with those hormonal fluctuations. So like maybe at that point, maybe I'll need it, maybe not, but who knows? So, whew. This was like, this was a deep dive and a tangent all in one, but I appreciate you guys hanging on there. Maybe that's why you don't need the medication.

[00:08:55] It seems what you were doing is working. You know, Christie maybe right. [00:09:00] Um, you have to be careful feeling very focused after never being that way. C can cause addiction as well. Um, you know, I mean there's, there's big pros. There's big cons, and it's different for everyone. Like I have friends who. Started medication for it and they were like, I, it was the first time in my life where I felt quiet in my mind.

[00:09:26] Like I thought, I felt like I could think one thought at a time, and I felt like I could, I could like function. I. And then I have other people, and then I have other people I've talked to that are like, I'd started the medi medication and it made my anxiety so much worse. And it, because it's a stimulant, right?

[00:09:45] And so, so there's, it's probably different for every single person that takes it. Um, And I just don't think at this point it's something I want to try, but I'm not closed off to it. [00:10:00] My a d d got much worse at an after menopause. Yeah, that's what I've heard. That's what the psychiatrist said too. It's interesting that you'll know right away if the meds work and that you don't have to wean off.

[00:10:12] That's good to know further. Yeah, and I don't, I mean, obviously I'm not like a pharmacist, so I don't know for sure, but that's what she said, and that was for that specific medication. She made it sound like if it was a stimulant, then you could try it and you would know right away if it worked. And then if it didn't, then you just, it would wear off after.

[00:10:29] A few hours or a day or whatever and you wouldn't have to take it again. But I know there's others that like are longer lasting or like take time to build up. So I think there's, so that's definitely something it's good to know, but it's also definitely you have to talk to your doctor or pharmacist or whoever and make sure that that's how it is for,

[00:10:51] sorry, I'm just reading comments.

[00:10:56] Okay, so this comment, it's baffling [00:11:00] to me how I can be such a perfectionist but have so much clutter at the same time. I try to end up spinning. Okay. I wanna talk about that. Hold on, let me come back. I wanna read the other comments, but then I wanna come back to that. Um, okay. Where'd it go? It's baffling to me how I can be such a perfectionist but have so much clutter at the same time.

[00:11:24] I try, but I end up spinning. Okay, so let's talk about this. Um, decluttering in general can is very hard for anyone, not anyone. If you have clutter, then it's hard for you. Um, because if it wasn't hard for you, you wouldn't have clutter in the first place. Um, but decluttering, okay, so our physical items hold a lot of emotions for us, and there's a lot of factors into that.

[00:11:52] It may be part, partially how we were raised, it's just our environment and our culture of like cons, consumption and [00:12:00] buying things to make us happy and shopping and et cetera, and giving big gifts and, um, Having big Christmas Christmases with lots of toys. You know what I mean? Like it's just, it's deeply embedded in our culture and our society.

[00:12:15] And so getting rid of those items is very hard for most people. There's a lot of emotion tied into it. We worry about what the person who got it got it for us will think we struggle with, uh, money and finance. Is, and so we feel like we can't let go of something because that's irresponsible. We worry about the environment rightfully so, like there's so many things that go into it.

[00:12:40] So decluttering in general is hard for anyone who has clutter. Then you add in the A D H D component, and I think it just exacerbates that. So it's like, here's people who don't struggle with clutter at all, and they're good. Right? Here's a large portion of the [00:13:00] population. Uh, I would even go as far to say as most people, they just struggle with clutter because it's hard and it's emotional and we have a lot of just societal things tied to it, and then we add a h ADHD on it, and it just makes it even harder.

[00:13:18] It takes all of these things. And it exacerbates it, it makes it even harder. So I say that because I want you to know that, that, that it's not anything you're doing wrong. It's just hard. And there are ways to, to work around that. There are ways to learn how to let go. There are systems and routines that so, As you know, or may, maybe you don't, but most of you probably know I have an organizing course coming out in quarter one of 2023.

[00:13:56] I don't know yet exactly when, but the first part of 2023, [00:14:00] and I've been toying with the idea of having like, Well, okay. My team might hate me if I say this so I can't say it. They might be like Diana. Seriously. All I will say is that, um, in this organizing course we will. Be cover, be covering all of the different types of organization and women with A D H D are going to have a very different organizing style than than many other women.

[00:14:32] Uh, A D H D women are going to be much more macro organizers versus micro organizers, which a lot of, uh, People really thrive off of micro organization. I tend to thrive off of macro organization in more open organization. And so if you have a D H D, that that would, that course will likely be really, really helpful for you [00:15:00] because what we think of as being organized, like I, I mean, Just look around, like go to the library or go to the bookstore and go to books about organization.

[00:15:11] And you will see a lot about micro organization, um, the home edit. Like they are wonderful. And the, and the organization that they have is beautiful, but it's very micro. It's very micro and it would never work for me, like never. So, so this is going to be a new way of looking at. Organization in a functional way that works for moms in our current world, I guess.

[00:15:43] And that's all. That's all I'll say. Or my team will hate me. I'm literally in tears listening to Thank you so much for doing this. I feel like something has been lifted off of me. Well that makes me happy and that makes it worth it right now. You know, I'll be honest, [00:16:00] I am like, I have been a little gun shy on Instagram lately because of some, some situations this summer that really like, really turned me off to Instagram and just how people.

[00:16:16] Not all people, a very small part of people on Instagram choose to interact with people they follow on Instagram, and I will leave it at that. I, so I have, I've been very gun shy at like sharing and being vulnerable and open on here, but I am kind of back to the point where I'm like, you know, whatever, like I will be criticized no matter what.

[00:16:40] I will, I will be criticized for drinking Starbucks coffee for some reason somehow. Like I, I'm sure. So I might as well just be on here and share my open feelings. Mary. I try. I'm trying. I try. She said, please don't let it ruin those people. Ruin it for us. Um, [00:17:00] I try and for the most part I am can like take it with a grain of salt every now and then.

[00:17:09] It just really gets to me and I, I think it would get to anyone, I think it would get to anyone to be criticized on a daily basis on how you live and look and think. And. Like, I use this as a joke, like someone will get mad at me for drinking a cup of coffee, but like, legit, there have been weirder things that people get upset about with me, um, and tell me how I'm a horrible person.

[00:17:35] So I, um, but I, I am continuing to work on having a thicker skin and know that, um, I know that I'm not the only one out there whose life. Can and will be changed [00:18:00] by the systems they teach. I stumbled upon them and I stumbled through them for years and I have now perfected them. And after working now with thousands of women going through them, I really have just, I have it down to a science and so I know deep down how much my systems help women and so I will not let them.

[00:18:27] Tear me down to the point where I can, can stop helping women, if that makes sense. Okay. I am going to read these comments. Um, you'll never make everyone happy a hundred percent. That, isn't that the truth? This is really funny. My son has ADHD and coffee calmed him down. So, um, that's actually something the psychiatrist said to me that.

[00:18:54] Uh, she was like encouraging me to try the stimulant medication because [00:19:00] like I drink coffee or like high caffeine content drinks when I need to focus. Like if I drink this, if I Dr. Sit down and drink this whole thing, I can really focus for several hours. Well, that might be stretching it maybe an hour or two and like, that's why I used to like drink Mountain Dew when I was about in college and about to write a paper.

[00:19:25] Like I've always, like caffeine has calmed me down and focused me versus like hyping me up or giving me energy. And so she was saying like, that's why stimulants probably would work really well for you, but. Again, I just, I, I will be open to it, but I just don't want to right now. Let's see. Okay. I know I'm missing.

[00:19:55] You guys are also kind. You're gonna make me cry in this [00:20:00] parking lot, um, deplete and block. Yes, and I do, like, I have zero hesitation blocking people anymore. I don't care if you followed me for. Four years. If you send me a rude, like a really rude or hateful or condescending dm, I will block you because I'm not gonna walk, like, I'm not gonna walk up to someone at Costco and give them my opinion on their life and what they're doing wrong.

[00:20:25] Like this is the same thing, like you can't do that to people. So I will just walk. I have no issue with that anymore. I used to. I used to like really hesitate. Okay, you guys. I have to go get some things done. Um, but it was really fun hanging out with you and hold on. Okay. Hold on. Let me read these last comments.

[00:20:49] Um, if you have questions, you can DM me. Would you let your children use them if they needed them? We're struggling with that? Yeah. I mean, [00:21:00] yeah, I think I would if it was really, if it was recommended and they were having severe symptoms, I would. But I think it's just, I think it's a, uh, case by case basis.

[00:21:11] There's just so much that goes into it. So, um, Okay, you guys, I have to get stuff. I have to, I have stuff to get done. I have to go, I have to go or I won't do it. But thank you for being here. I will hopefully, hopefully I'm in like a random parking lot, so hopefully I'm able to download and post this because I'd like to save it.

[00:21:33] Um, but you can always DM me and you guys know that. Let me know if you have any questions. You guys, I am going to go, uh, floor shopping because we have decided to replace carpet and. All of that fun stuff, so I have to go to get that done because I have, I was supposed to do it yesterday and I didn't do it.

[00:21:51] Okay, you guys, I love you. Thank you for being here. I will talk to you later. Bye. Thanks for hanging out and listening to the Decluttered Mom podcast. If you [00:22:00] enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world if you could write a review or share this episode with a friend or your Instagram stories. And if you're on Instagram, be sure to follow [email protected] and send me a DM to say hi.

[00:22:15] I'd love to hear what you thought about today's episode. I hope you'll come back next week and hang out with us again.